Doodies' Apology to Doodles (638 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.85 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Doodies (View user info) at 2006-04-27 06:31:35 EDT
Doodles,
I received an e-mail telling me you're a high school kid. If this is true, I want to apologize for busting your balls. Seriously. And I'm gonna stop picking on you, too. Not because you can't take it. Because I want to.
See, several years ago a girlfriend and I went into kind of a rough joint. It was pretty crowded, but we managed to squeeze in at the bar.
Well, this guy on the stool next to me, who'd obviously had a few too many, kept interrupting us and saying rude shit to my girlfriend. Right across me.
I turned to him several times, warning him to knock it off.
But he kept it up.
Finally, he said something unbelievably rank, and I gave him a final warning. I told him I'd knock his block off if he didn't shut up.
Well, he mouthed off again, and I turned and punched him right in the snout.
And he FLEW off the bar stool, no shit, and skidded across the floor, coming to rest under the feet of this biker shooting pool.
The whole room instantly, and I mean INSTANTLY went dead quiet.
Nobody said shit. It was dark and smoky, so it took me a minute to realize the guy HAD NO LEGS.
Well, you can imagine my embarrassment. I'd just punched out a drunken cripple.
Quite the asshole. But I didn't have all the information.
Which is the problem with the goddamn internet. You never know who the fuck you're talking to.
For a high school kid, your stuff is pretty good. Better than what I wrote back then.
So it makes perfect sense to me now if you were a little peeved or threatened or whatever when I posted a few fake news stories from my other site. Because you had your own news thing going. So you gave me shit.
It seemed like that was relatively normal, to give new people shit, so I had some fun mixing it up, with you and others. And I still don't get the whole 'one post a day thing.' Who gives a fuck? I damn near posted 17 fucking things one after another just to see if I could fill up the front page. Think about THAT shitstorm. I mean, the site is meant to be chaotic. But it's like high school, or something. Follow the 'rules' or be ostracized. Big deal.
And here I find you're actually IN high school.
Which is funny, because life, like this site, can be a lot like that. You got the cool kids, the smart kids, the athletic kids and every combination thereof.
But they're all just kids.
So I guess you were just behaving how you've been taught by this community.
I would say it takes a village to raise an idiot, but that would be a cheap shot, cause you're not an idiot.
So I'm gonna stop raggin' on you.
I'll even retire the name. I can get another.
Anyone know if shitfuck is taken?
User Reviews
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2006-05-21 22:30:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Y HELO THAR! BUTSECKS?
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-05-21 21:49:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
stop being a faucking fag DOODLES
you created this alter in a poor attempt to get more hits
you are shit
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-28 22:53:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I still want to know who the fuck you are though.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-28 22:46:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
God fucking damn I can't believe I missed this shit. Why'd you have to go and punch Berty for? Shame doodies, shame.
Submitted by Doodies (user info) at 2006-04-28 22:30:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I better take these one at a time:
MrSparkle847:
In any case, I hate apology posts.
I'm sorry.
Bubba2341
Poor quality dipshittedness.
No, it's not.
BadAssJulie and kaos-king:
Did you punch Berty?
No, but I did choke chicken.
JonnyX:
Never mind. Your reply was no good. But keep trying. You'll get better.
eppliks:
I bet that cripple got back up and chewed your ear off.
Eh?
shadow:
how... mature of you?
Uh... no.
sinna:
I think I've been reading each of your posts as Doodles.
Does that affect my ratings?
Webered:
Truly a work of art!
Fuck you! Suck a dick! Eat shit! Bite me! -2Die!
Oh, wait.
You I like. These d'ubers are sure funny, huh W?
Axolotl:
die
One word. Jealousy. No, that's three words. Seven! Eight!...Ten! Ha, Got it. Damn!
kaos-king:
Did you punch Berty?
See above.
loki:
"You have of late stood out against your brother, and he hath ta'en you newly into his grace; where it is impossible you should take true root but by the fair weather that you make yourself: it is needful that you frame the season for your own harvest."
If you spent less time on the Bard and more time raising these d'ubers, it would be a much more civil place to squat.
CaptainThorns:
Haven't you been banned yet?
You asked me that before. Are you still upset I critiqued that story? It was constructive, man.
Don't be so touchy. Re-read it while you wait for the clerk in divorce court to call your case.
Shlongy:
Well, if nothing else, it's a pretty good title.
Yeah, but I left off the IGKTW. Am I disqualified?
Flying_buttmonkey:
Who the hell are you?
I think I'm a shit tasting, ass-sniffing, cunt-licking (I like that one) n00b.
But I'm not familiar yet with the vernacular.
Foolproof:
It's asswipes like you that make me want to kill randomly.
Just doing my part to help clean up the site.
Beano312003:
Who cares.
Nobody. Why do you ask without a ?
redskieslookfake:
What *is* your game then?
Texas hold 'em. Not really. I actually just don't want to pick on a high school kid.
Soley_Trinity:
Fuck Off!
That's what I like about the Catholics.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-04-28 20:21:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Well, this guy on the stool next to me, who'd obviously had a few too many, kept interrupting us and saying rude shit to my girlfriend.
____________________
A real live girl?
In any case, I hate apology posts.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-28 20:05:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Poor quality dipshittedness.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-04-28 17:49:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-04-27 09:19:57 (#)
Ranking: 1
Did you punch Berty?
You punched Berty, didn't you?
----
Haha! I totally thought the same thing.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-28 17:38:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I damn near posted 17 fucking things one after another just to see if I could fill up the front page.
--------
grounds for a perma-ban.
Here's an small idea for you to wrap your head around, asshole.
Why don't READ what other people have to say before saying something yourself. Just try it.
Don't post anything, just read.
Submitted by eppliks (user info) at 2006-04-27 20:01:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Whatever. I bet that cripple got back up and chewed your ear off.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-04-27 15:47:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
how... mature of you?
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2006-04-27 09:43:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I think I've been reading each of your posts as Doodles.
meh
Submitted by Webered (user info) at 2006-04-27 09:35:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Truly a work of art!
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-04-27 09:26:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
die
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-04-27 09:19:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Did you punch Berty?
You punched Berty, didn't you?
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-04-27 09:00:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"You have of late stood out against your brother, and he hath ta'en you newly into his grace; where it is impossible you should take true root but by the fair weather that you make yourself: it is needful that you frame the season for your own harvest."
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-04-27 08:54:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Haven't you been banned yet?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-27 08:18:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well, if nothing else, it's a pretty good title.
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2006-04-27 07:19:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Who the hell are you?
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-04-27 07:17:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It's asswipes like you that make me want to kill randomly.
The law of averages says I would have to get you eventually.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-04-27 06:51:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Who cares.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-27 06:39:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What *is* your game then?
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2006-04-27 06:32:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck Off!