The Epic of Big Phil (297 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.2 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Mike <mike.elias17.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2006-04-27 11:32:14 EDT
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
Big Phil the thunder man
Came to town and people ran.
Hung'ring for their babies' lives
Big Phil swallowed husbands, wives!
Fighters of his apetite
Decided to use dynamite.
Bombs and mines they gathered thus
Crammed them all inside a bus.
Driving it toward Big Phil's cave
Was old Rick Johnson, strong and brave!
He blasted in through solid sediment,
Startling its enormous resident.
Then the bus-bomb they created
Kamikaze detonated!
The townsfolk watched and celebrated
As the mountain 'vaporated.
They knew that they were safe for sure,
But from the wreckage came a stir.
"Get bazookas!" cried the men.
Phil bursted out like 'Alien'!
People cowered, scared to run
Big Phil's frame blocked out the sun.
As the people stared, abhorred,
Phil grabbed his manhood, shook, and roared!
In total fright they ran away
Once again Phil's won the day.
The women felt so scared and beat,
They offered Phil his favorite meat.
They said "Phil, here, please eat my child"
"We have two sauces, hot and mild."
Phil snatched the babies, ripe for death
Spread his lips and took a breath:
"I'm just fuckin with ya," said giant Phil
"I'm a nice guy, I hate to kill."
Every word the town believed,
And thanked Big Phil and felt relieved.
"But you assholes did blow up my house, if I recall,"
"So fuck you guys, I'll eat you all.
The people laughed at Big Phil's wit,
But by next morning, they were shit.
Based on a true buddy of mine. He's 6'7'' and weighs around 300 lbs.
User Reviews
Submitted by TheRocketeer (user info) at 2006-04-27 15:18:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-04-27 11:50:29 (#)
Ranking: 1
I couldn't help but sing this.
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To "Iron Man," right?
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2006-04-27 14:25:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, not bad.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-04-27 11:50:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I have that T-shirt.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-04-27 11:50:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I couldn't help but sing this.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-04-27 11:50:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
funny, y'all look like whiny cunts
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-04-27 11:45:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
made me laugh