Bring Your Child to Work Day: the Orgasmatron Edition (35476 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.83 on 169 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (View user info) at 2006-04-27 17:04:29 EDT
User Reviews
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-01-25 16:11:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This post kicks more ass than a Chilean farmer.
Submitted by Lianne260987 (user info) at 2006-08-15 07:56:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Its was funny at first but then it just got boring
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-06-20 02:06:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Feety (user info) at 2006-06-09 10:11:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i remember it was really cold in the office that day.
i wish i'd had pants on. maybe some nice chinos or something.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2006-06-05 20:44:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i hope he gets my sexy syphillis.
gets the ladies everytime.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-05-12 00:40:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like your style.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-05-12 00:22:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
1/2 mine, anyway.
But it's my post, so that makes him more mine right now.
So THERE.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-05-11 18:03:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yours, huh?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-05-11 17:57:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
10K and growing.
LOVE MY FEETY, WORLD-AT-LARGE! LOVE HIM!
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-05-07 20:51:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it weird that I am stoked that this is on B@W mainly because my name is in the post??
Congrats again O-man!
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-05-05 20:17:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh Anansie, I'm not that much of a nerd am I?
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-05-05 18:25:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Katy:
"uh... what if you like being bent over and tossed around? "
Katy, the whole point is that you THINK they aren't the type to bend you over, toss you around, etc. So you get a nice suprise when they do just that. I used to avoid certain types of guys because I thought they weren't like that. But I was wrong, and I was glad to be wrong. My eyes were opened and I now see the light. I will never look at cute nerdy smart guys the same.
"the picture in my mind, after reading his poetry, was pretty close to his actual camwhore. especially since the first poem i read of his was a review in my first post and included the line "fucked the pheasant," for some reason made me think, hmmm half brooding dark smartass type with brain. reminds me of a kid i went to school with. assuming that really is him and all."
I think the picture I got in my head came from him being such a smartass.
"and of course anansie you're like the cutest nerdlette ever. well you might not be a nerdlette but you're cute anyway."
Yes, I am a nerdlette. And thanks!
Later, I'm off to go shag my adorable nerd boyfriend!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-05-05 14:32:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I actually have hair on 98% of my face, like these guys: http://music.vietvoice.net/pictures/news/news_253.jpg
So really, what you're seeing there is masterful makeup work after a really close shave, to allow myself a semblance of normalcy in this, my everyday life.
I'll let you know if Feety sprouts hair in the future, Danny Boy.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-05-05 13:53:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AAAHHHAHAHAHAHHA!!!
What the hell is wrong with you man? If you can't see the resemblance to me there, I am going to have to ask you to go ahead and raise that little hellion and get in touch with me when he is 18.
You seriously have way too much time on your hands.
(Read: If I knew how to properly use paint, I would do the same thing. Can I have a lesson?)
But really, a +2 for the voracious camwhore at the end. Don't you ever shave man? Or are you so manly, you actually get hairier after you shave?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-05-05 11:20:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-05-05 10:54:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
I could get into a long discussion about the different types of hotness, but I have to go to work. Trust me when I say, that up there is one of them, at least to me. Basically what I meant was he is way cuter than I thought he'd be, and in a different way than I thought.
===========
I like you.
Welcome to the harem.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-05-05 11:06:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
uh... what if you like being bent over and tossed around?
the picture in my mind, after reading his poetry, was pretty close to his actual camwhore. especially since the first poem i read of his was a review in my first post and included the line "fucked the pheasant," for some reason made me think, hmmm half brooding dark smartass type with brain. reminds me of a kid i went to school with. assuming that really is him and all.
and of course anansie you're like the cutest nerdlette ever. well you might not be a nerdlette but you're cute anyway.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-05-05 10:54:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-05-05 10:33:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
how do hot and adorable equate there? hot = oh baby bend me over this desk and fuck me hard. adorable = awwwww he's such a good friend/pet.
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I could get into a long discussion about the different types of hotness, but I have to go to work. Trust me when I say, that up there is one of them, at least to me. Basically what I meant was he is way cuter than I thought he'd be, and in a different way than I thought.
Also, adorable guys=great sex. Why? Because you think that because they are so cute and sweet, they aren't the type to bend you over and toss you around. Trust me, nothing could be farther from the truth. It was such a pleasant suprise to have my misconceptions disproved.
Ahh, memories.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-05-05 10:38:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-05-05 10:33:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
how do hot and adorable equate there? hot = oh baby bend me over this desk and fuck me hard. adorable = awwwww he's such a good friend/pet.
==========
He's both.
You have no idea.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-05-05 10:34:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and.... i'd actually be impressed if you could type with your elbows. but that's probably just me.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-05-05 10:33:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
how do hot and adorable equate there? hot = oh baby bend me over this desk and fuck me hard. adorable = awwwww he's such a good friend/pet.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-05-05 10:29:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know whether or not to take that as a compliment.
On one hand it means you think - and rightfully so - that I'm a svelte, dangerously hot mofo. On the other it means you apparently used to think of me as a hairy, hulking savage who types with his elbows and bathes once a month.
Either way, you're sweet. You shall become my wrestling wife.
It is done.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-05-05 01:19:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-05-04 23:20:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
How'd you picture me, Ananser?
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I pictured you being a lot less adorable, for one thing.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-05-04 23:20:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How'd you picture me, Ananser?
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-05-04 23:04:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you rock at life sir.
AT life.
i am going to buy one of those ninja guns.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-05-04 15:42:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm pretty sure I rated this before, but I have to say, you look waaaaay different from how I pictured you.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-05-03 15:59:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why, teehee!
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-05-01 22:48:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats on B@W.
---
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-28 10:01:11 (#)
Ranking: 0
The lesson here? THIS IS A SERIOUS WRITERS FORUM.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-28 10:00:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
You know, I rhyme and I rhyme and I rhyme, and like one in a bajillion poems gets on B@W.
Then I take some pictures with a plastic fetus and my pants down and - boom - instant fame.
---
B@W is not Uber, and vice versa.
Submitted by Webered (user info) at 2006-05-01 17:02:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I tried to tell him that real men don't use the phone, they just yell until the other person hears them."
Haha. It's so much less work, I don't know why no one does it. You don't even have to reach for the phone! Let alone dial a number...Man.
Submitted by captaincrunch00 (user info) at 2006-05-01 10:54:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-05-01 10:46:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Aaand a little bump for the shlongman: http://www.ubersite.com/m/87267#1955798
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-05-01 10:45:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ghola dear - check your email. the ninjas have been revealed.
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-05-01 01:40:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
COOL.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2006-04-29 10:11:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
congrats.
Submitted by pitbullgirl (user info) at 2006-04-29 09:58:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Funny and original. I'm sure the fetus-huggers won't like it,but f@#@k them.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-04-29 06:54:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What about Wop?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-29 06:46:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-04-29 04:11:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
That's Apollo's way of saying congratulations. If it's a boy I might name it after him.
Jamie Apollo Penney
or
Apollo James Penney
---
You can't name your son Jap. It would be wrong.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-04-29 05:40:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-04-29 05:12:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SWEET!
I'd have to say B@W, seriously.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-04-29 04:11:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's Apollo's way of saying congratulations. If it's a boy I might name it after him.
Jamie Apollo Penney
or
Apollo James Penney
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-04-29 01:23:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
o, i don't see the ninja...
Submitted by Whiplash (user info) at 2006-04-28 20:26:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
by golly
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-04-28 19:35:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-04-28 10:35:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't do a Downs Syndrome post. It's very bad Karma for my future baby. ""
it's fucked anyway it's coming out of your rancid retarded mongoloid body.
The fact that people like you are allowed to reproduce disgusts me. Seriously I feel sick just thinking about it.
I hope it gets strangled by the umbilical cord, i hope the only sound your 'baby' ever makes is it's death rattle.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-28 18:53:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
congrats on b@w, sir.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-28 16:44:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
CRAP! I forgot this was yesterday...
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-28 16:23:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ghola dear: http://www.ubersite.com/m/87267#1954716
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-04-28 16:02:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-28 10:20:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W? YOU FUCKING SELL OUT!
I hate you.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-04-28 16:00:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
brilliant... just brilliant
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-04-28 14:48:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aw thanks for the extra reviews O
*hugs*
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2006-04-28 14:19:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Genius.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-04-28 13:56:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-04-28 10:20:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats on B@W, homo
------------------
WHAT THE FUCKITY?!?!?!?
MY kid is WAAAAAAY cuter than yours and I didn't get on B@W
*sobs ugly child emo tears*
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-28 13:29:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Harrelson, Oh Harrelson...
How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways...
1. Umm.....
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-04-28 13:28:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I *so* want to record that Cheers parody RIGHT NOW.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-28 13:28:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/87267#1954741
He's probably missing all this.
Such a shame.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-28 13:26:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your first verse is almost identical to mine.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-28 13:24:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YOU STOLE MY IDEA.
I HAD A CHEERS UBER SONG ALREADY>
I HATE YOU.
In other news, the mens room is across the hallway from my office. Usually I can't hear anything when someone is in there, but one guy...I can hear the shit forcefully move out of his ass. Every. Single. Time.
Why is this man's asshole louder than every other man in the office. WHY?
He takes a shit something like four times a day. This is just in the eight hour work day, who knows how much he shits at home. He just farted.
WHO HAS TO SHIT THAT MUCH?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-28 13:18:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Making your way
On Uber today
Takes everything you've got
Writing reviews and posting stories sure can hurt a lot
Wouldn't you like to get away?
Go find a man
With a golfer's tan
And a receding hairline
He'll be the one inches-deep in nitty, up in his behind
Herbert J. loves to root the can
Sometimes you need to go
Where Shlongy goes by his first name
And your posts cannot be flamed
You wanna be where the scotch flows free
At minor league baseball games
You wanna be where girls suck cock with no shame
His wallet's thick
'Cause he's rich, dipshit
He's an important man
Everything's comped when you roll at night with Woody Harrelson
Make sure that Rancid knit cap fits
Be glad there's one place in the world
Where Shlongy goes by his first name
And your posts cannot be flamed
You need to be your words are free
From namedrops of Frank Stallone's name
You need to go where girls suck cock with no shame
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-28 13:17:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OH C'MON, IT WASN'T THAT BAD.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-28 13:15:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
scourge-
-2 die.
Bye,
Valerie
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-28 13:12:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-28 13:02:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-28 12:57:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
She can rate however she wants VALERIE. Who do you think you are, the rating police? Sheesh...
=========
It was just a teasing question, MATTHEW. I didn't suspect she wanted to rate that way.
And it wasn't posed to you.
So shut it.
===
Dear Valerie,
I'm sorry, please accept this safe for work link as an apology gift.
http://tinyurl.com/lbp2n
Love, Matthew
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-04-28 13:03:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was awesome O'man.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-28 13:02:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-28 12:57:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
She can rate however she wants VALERIE. Who do you think you are, the rating police? Sheesh...
=========
It was just a teasing question, MATTHEW. I didn't suspect she wanted to rate that way.
And it wasn't posed to you.
So shut it.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-28 12:57:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
She can rate however she wants VALERIE. Who do you think you are, the rating police? Sheesh...
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-04-28 12:51:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-28 12:34:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
Katy- is your rating button broken, or what?
------
nope.
just my brain.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-28 12:41:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going fucking nuts sitting here.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-28 12:41:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Harrelson.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-28 12:40:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Upon further review I have to say this post wasn't really all that great. I mean it was basically dedicated to one person* and you all fawn over it and your chance to blow a poet faggot. What a bunch of dipshits.
Jesus Christ folks, the smell of dick is on your breath strong today.
That's all I have to say to you fucking circle jerking homos.
dipshit
scotch
golf
broads
wallet
pop zits
I'm trying to sound like Shlongy today, since he seems to be pretty scarce I figured someone needed to fill in. How did that sound? Good? Bad? Not enough 'dipshit'? I can do better with your help.
* one very awesome person. Yes.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-28 12:34:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Katy- is your rating button broken, or what?
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-04-28 12:29:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wait your pants are down? where???
oh wait ew nm i remember.
*barf*
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-28 12:17:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-28 10:00:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
You know, I rhyme and I rhyme and I rhyme, and like one in a bajillion poems gets on B@W.
Then I take some pictures with a plastic fetus and my pants down and - boom - instant fame.
------------------
I'm just glad that one half of my personality got on Bored at Work.
I'm proud of me.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-04-28 12:06:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHA
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-04-28 11:49:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-28 11:48:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Darling, we'll need some ground rules next time. What did you teach this child? Feety refused to go back in the womb this morning. He flipped me the shocker and crawled away toward the XBox. He's throwing the devil horns and banging his little head to Slayer right now. The fact that the Slayer CD belongs to mommy is not the point.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-28 11:30:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fetus phone operators are a +2 in my book
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-04-28 11:26:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HEY! O-MAN!
You purposely ignoring my comments on your Bartemian post?!?
I have some AWESOME news for you there, if you care to navigate away from this fetus-flinging post and read it...
Love,
Captain Thorns
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-04-28 10:35:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't do a Downs Syndrome post. It's very bad Karma for my future baby.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-04-28 10:34:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is wrong on a wide variety of levels.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-28 10:26:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great- now our child's photo is smeared all over the most child molestery site around.
Congratulations, daddy.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-04-28 10:20:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AND THEN I DON'T +2 IT CUZ I'M A FUCKING MORON!!! god i hate my brain.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-04-28 10:20:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats on B@W, homo
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-04-28 10:20:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
so.... i have no idea what to say about this. i'll just assume for your sake that my mouth was gaping open in awe and wonder at this magnificence of this and give you a +2.
sidenote: if you want a couple samples of the screen shots, i'll email them to you, i have no idea how the hell to do a post and i'm sure a poetic description of "orgasmatron" by orgasmatron would be way better than what i could come up with.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-28 10:20:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W? YOU FUCKING SELL OUT! hehehe
Congrats
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-28 10:01:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The lesson here? THIS IS A SERIOUS WRITERS FORUM.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-28 10:00:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You know, I rhyme and I rhyme and I rhyme, and like one in a bajillion poems gets on B@W.
Then I take some pictures with a plastic fetus and my pants down and - boom - instant fame.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-28 08:59:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Downs Kids have more chromosomes than you. HARD CORE.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-04-28 08:50:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-04-28 08:42:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Loved it, loved it, loved it..
SO +2
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2006-04-28 08:19:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed till milk came out of my nose.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-04-28 08:16:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-28 07:39:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-04-28 06:18:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.downsyndromedolls.com/thedolls.html
I really want a foetus doll so I was googling to see if you could buy one. All I could find were the above Downs Syndrome dolls.
========
Oh. My. God. .
==========================
HOMINA HOMINA HOMINA
THAT'S HOT
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2006-04-28 08:02:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Flaming Lips
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-04-28 07:44:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Someone needs to make a post about the downy dolls
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-28 07:39:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-04-28 06:18:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.downsyndromedolls.com/thedolls.html
I really want a foetus doll so I was googling to see if you could buy one. All I could find were the above Downs Syndrome dolls.
========
Oh. My. God.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-04-28 07:24:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-04-28 06:18:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.downsyndromedolls.com/thedolls.html
I really want a foetus doll so I was googling to see if you could buy one. All I could find were the above Downs Syndrome dolls.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-04-28 04:20:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:D
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-28 03:57:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I reckon if pro-life people gave out figures like this in the street in Britain chavs would take some and then bombard the campaigners with a shower of foetuses.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-28 01:20:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It just occurred to me that I caught Feety in the middle of rimming out that elefunk and not, as advertised, while engaged in animal ass sex.
My apologies...
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-28 00:38:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
FYI - that's a Hanshin Tigers wall-hang behind me in that last picture.
Brought back from Tokyo, with a pack of - I kid you not - Homo Sausage (fish sausage), from my friend Ace of Spades.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-28 00:30:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That check shirt is evil, evil I say. Sickness of a very profound nature is required to wear garments such as this.
Bubba's earlier comments have got me wondering...I'd like to hear him take guesses at the physical appearance of most uberers...
Ghola is right, this'll be on most heated like a shot. Unless it already is, I haven't checked.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-27 23:47:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-27 23:40:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-27 22:50:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
You look like a sexual offender I shall write about in my next post.
No correlation, I'm just sayin...
=========
Yes. He's so sexy, it's offensive.
Decon- Darling..stroking it into my panties you stole, sadly, did not make me pregnant. And neither did the handjob you got when you came to return them. Sorry.
__________________________________________________________________
SHIT! FUCK! PISS! HELL! DAMN! PUKE! SNOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GODDAMN IT!!!!!!!!!! Handjobs is my fav-O-rite form of teh secks.
Saccy, what is your address? I be there with bells on my weenie. . .
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-27 23:40:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-27 22:50:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
You look like a sexual offender I shall write about in my next post.
No correlation, I'm just sayin...
=========
Yes. He's so sexy, it's offensive.
Decon- Darling..stroking it into my panties you stole, sadly, did not make me pregnant. And neither did the handjob you got when you came to return them. Sorry.
Submitted by Deconstruction (user info) at 2006-04-27 23:37:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-27 23:32:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
Deconstruction done shat in his nest. . . .
-------
I DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS MEANS
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-27 23:33:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I blame the hour, Apollonia. I got the idea a little after 3 and wanted to get it up before 5, so I kind of had to just throw it all together with moxy and some spit. Which, come to think of it, sounds exactly like how Feety was conceived.
Oh and thanks for the words and endorsement, Razor.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-27 23:32:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Deconstruction done shat in his nest. . . .
Submitted by Deconstruction (user info) at 2006-04-27 23:28:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's too bad he's not yours, you lebanese scum.
That's right: Sac, I'm coming clean. I can't bear to see my poetic friend go on like this.
The truth is, Orgasmatron... Well, how can I put this..
Feety Orgasmatron is the bi-product of MY omnipotent semen (watch RAW this week?) and the festering bog that is Sacrilicious' pajina. Your weak gametes had nothing to do with the formation of the fetus in question that you hold so dear.
Now you may ask: Why rain on this parade, Deconstruction? My answer is: it had to be said. My life is incomplete knowing that MY son is going to YOUR work while I sit in backalleys drinking Ten High all day. Me, Feety, and you, Orgasmatron, you Motorhead loving son of a bitch, can't go on living this lie any longer.
Bottom line: I want a say in my sons life. Who the hell do you think you are, taking him to a WORKPLACE, showing him what life is like with a JOB?! NO SON OF MINE IS WORKING HIS DAYS AWAY WHILE THERES PERFECTLY GOOD WHISKEY TO CONSUME AND PERFECTLY GOOD SKULLS TO SMASH. I DEMAND THAT THE CUSTODY OF MY BOY BE RIGHTFULLY TRANSFERRED TO ME.
MEET MY DEMANDS YOU SLIME- OR I WILL MAKE ALL THREE OF YOUR LIVES <bigger letters>MISERABLE</bigger letters>.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-27 23:26:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, I had you looking like a cross between The Bard and Shlongy. You know,
long hair and big tits. Bwahahahaha!
Really, I didn't know what to think about such a young punk, one younger than my
youngest child. . . .
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-27 23:25:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
On a completely diffrent topic, I found a site full of strange sex toys, new sex news psot to follow.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-27 23:24:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-27 23:13:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlongy - I got mine on a tag attached to a t-shirt at an Urban Outfitters downtown. They were on a handful of items at the store to promote abortion awareness (they had varying sizes, ages, etc). If we had enough time I'd just FedEx the little guy to you and you could take him on your trip. Maybe pass him on to another user and have Feety's Great Big World Tour or something.
---
That would be a bad idea O, this is Uber man, we have beeb cyst and shitfuck. God knows what would happen to Feety by the time he got to Circe, of course if it does make it to Circe, she would just get it drunk and read her bad book to Feety, and then your child would be twisted and depraved before it was even born.
And.
We.
Wouldn't.
Want.
That.
Now.
Would.
We?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-04-27 23:17:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahah +2 for your response but you are a LOT funnier than this usually.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-27 23:13:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's basically what I look like, Bubs. Only there's usually not as much facial hair and my lips aren't making a smooch like they are above. So, in that respect, it's about 88% me, and the rest is bullshit posturing.
I'm curious...what did you think I looked like, generally speaking?
Because I totally know what you mean re: forming an image in your head before seeing someone.
Monkeying - Virginia. I thought today was National BYKTW Day, but maybe I was mistaken.
Shlongy - I got mine on a tag attached to a t-shirt at an Urban Outfitters downtown. They were on a handful of items at the store to promote abortion awareness (they had varying sizes, ages, etc). If we had enough time I'd just FedEx the little guy to you and you could take him on your trip. Maybe pass him on to another user and have Feety's Great Big World Tour or something.
Apollo - Don't you 'meh' me, my little guinea piglet, or it's no hay and no vitamin treats for you.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-27 22:50:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ever notice how you get a picture of a writer in your mind? Then you see
the real thing and it blows you away? Well, this happened on this post.
You look like a sexual offender I shall write about in my next post.
No correlation, I'm just sayin...... :-/
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-27 22:48:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-27 20:04:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
He writes poetry for chrissakes...you expect him to be anything OTHER than pale ass white?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-27 19:52:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus you are fucking hairy, shave once in awhile and get atleast a bit of a tan.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm still waiting fer de answer. Is he real or is he Memorex? My ol' lady jes
gots a cell phone wit pix ability. Wanna see my pic? I didn't think so. . . . . .
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-27 22:39:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OK, O-Man, I wants da truf. Is that last picture in the post REALLY what you look like?
I shall save all commentary until I get teh answer. . .
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2006-04-27 22:23:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shifty (user info) at 2006-04-27 22:23:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Feety's Playhouse.
nice
Submitted by deedee (user info) at 2006-04-27 22:13:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
where the fuck did u find a little fetus doll!?? class!!
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2006-04-27 21:56:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 elephant humping
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-04-27 21:50:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-27 21:29:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you're dreaming of another Uber user - well, I suppose, other than me - you've got serious issues.
Especially in this case, if you have a penis.
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2006-04-27 21:24:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You don't look anything like my dreams predicted you would...
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-04-27 21:10:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How can I be the first to say BORED AT WORK!?!?!?!?!
Fucking A, my man, you just rose to the level of all time classic uber-user with one post.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-04-27 21:08:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yawn
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-04-27 20:24:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Red Sox
This was funny.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-27 20:21:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-27 20:04:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
He writes poetry for chrissakes...you expect him to be anything OTHER than pale ass white?
---
Good point...
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-04-27 20:11:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I see he needs a little help in the humping elephants department. If he doesn't figure it out soon just send him my way, I'm an expert.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-27 20:04:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He writes poetry for chrissakes...you expect him to be anything OTHER than pale ass white?
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-27 19:52:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus you are fucking hairy, shave once in awhile and get atleast a bit of a tan.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-27 19:45:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-04-27 18:45:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
And this being the first REAL face image of you on Uber not masked by text or other crap, I must say you're quite the handsome devil, O-Man.
===============
So, so hot. You should see him when he's all naked and sweaty from making babies. Or maybe you shouldn't..
Only the best genes for the Orgasmalicious Uberbaby.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-27 19:31:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's hard as hell for me not to try and read this as a poem, but this was some funny shit.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-04-27 19:28:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-04-27 19:15:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hilarious. Your child looks delicious.
Submitted by myexstaintstain (user info) at 2006-04-27 19:01:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fun
Submitted by MonkeyingAround (user info) at 2006-04-27 18:47:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Orgasmatron, what state do you live in... It's bring your kid to work day here too... Is this something national now? When I was growing up the school held the take you kid to work day, and my mothers work had different days to take the kids to work.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-04-27 18:45:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ummm...uhhh...WOW!
And this being the first REAL face image of you on Uber not masked by text or other crap, I must say you're quite the handsome devil, O-Man. You look EXACTLY like my friend Kevin from university...it's creepy, the similarities...
Submitted by MonkeyingAround (user info) at 2006-04-27 18:44:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-04-27 18:43:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
This was a continual 'wtf'
--------------
unless you find it as funny as I do.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-04-27 18:43:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was a continual 'wtf'
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-04-27 18:42:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The baseball guy...holding...th...BWAHAHAHAHAH!
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2006-04-27 18:28:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-04-27 18:22:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the tie.
its all about the tie.
and the playhouse
and everything
Submitted by HawthorneHeights (user info) at 2006-04-27 18:14:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hilarious.
Stapler + Red Sox = Auto +2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-27 18:12:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Where can I get one of these feti by, say 7pm tonight?
Because I'm heading to West Palm Beach for the weekend and I want to take pictures with a fetus on my little Florida adventure.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2006-04-27 18:08:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-04-27 18:04:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are truly an awful person.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-27 18:04:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I left him in a cramped and lightless box in my closet.
See, I'm not a deadbeat, just a pyscopath.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-27 18:01:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-27 17:59:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
You have the exact same phone as I do. AND-- I too have one of those fetuses (or however the hell you pluralize fetus.)
I don't like this one bit.
Not one single bit.
---
Fetii all look the same at this age. That's why I gave Feety the crown and tie. Children need to learn to develop their own identities.
What did you do with YOUR fetus today, hmm?
Nothing?
Deadbeat.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-27 17:59:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-04-27 17:55:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
I HAVE ONE OF THOSE FETUS THINGS!! I SERIOUSLY DO!
---
Did you bring him to class today?
Take him with you tomorrow. Take pictures. It's never too late to bond.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-27 17:59:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You have the exact same phone as I do. AND-- I too have one of those fetuses (or however the hell you pluralize fetus.)
I don't like this one bit.
Not one single bit.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-27 17:58:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-04-27 17:24:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
wow.
to think i barely ubered today.
i would've missed this shit.
well, probably not since it'll be most heated sometime midafternoonish tomorrow.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-04-27 17:57:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha great.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-04-27 17:55:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I HAVE ONE OF THOSE FETUS THINGS!! I SERIOUSLY DO!
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-04-27 17:52:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-27 17:28:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
Mommy is so proud of both her boys!
You're SUCH a good father.*
---------------
Could you PLEASE not rub in the fact that YOUR UBER-BABY-DADDY is involved.
It makes Method Jr. cry emo tears
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-27 17:52:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ghola - you can barely see him, but if you look at the picture w/ David Ortiz and Feety in it you'll see a little black ninja to the left of Ortiz's hip. He's by one of the lights surrounding the replica of Fenway that's on my desk. He's one of the little ninjas from that ninja gun I've mentioned a few times.
Did you ever get one of those?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-27 17:43:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He's inherited mommy's love for peppermint patties and orange julius, and daddy's love of baseball.
I hope he gets your hot knees and your giant hands. And your sexy nipples. Because we know what all that means.
Submitted by runswithscissors (user info) at 2006-04-27 17:38:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"episiotmy guilt'
bwaaaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Submitted by hyprspacd (user info) at 2006-04-27 17:34:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was awesome.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-04-27 17:33:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 "sexy nipples"
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-27 17:28:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're still a dork but this kind of cracked me up.
But let's put into consideration that I also drank at lunch today, but what the fuck.
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-04-27 17:28:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice, motha.
"...communists, that's who" haha
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-27 17:28:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mommy is so proud of both her boys!
You're SUCH a good father.* Setting such a good example, instilling in him a love for music and poetry, and humping, just like his daddy. Even building a playhouse for our little man.
*wipes away tear*
*This doesn't excuse you from child support.
Our family is teh r0xx0rs.
I love us.
Submitted by MonkeyingAround (user info) at 2006-04-27 17:24:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
how adorable...
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-04-27 17:24:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow.
to think i almost didn't uber today.
i would've missed this shit.
well, probably not since it'll be most heated sometime midafternoonish tomorrow.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2006-04-27 17:22:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
my favorite uberuser of all time
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-27 17:22:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AHAHAHAH - YOU live in a cubicle - I live in a cupboard
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-04-27 17:19:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There's something about that phone picture I find relentlessly amusing. It might be the foetus.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-04-27 17:18:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-27 17:15:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want some blank ink as well. Sounds good.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2006-04-27 17:14:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You make my pants happy.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-27 17:14:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm a good father, Method.
I'm not sick.
Did any of your Greek friends bring their boys to work today?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-04-27 17:10:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're sick
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-27 17:10:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh god. Sacrilicious is gonna go nuts over this.