“It’s spelt G.A.Y.” “OOOOOOOH, now we see!” said Ubersite. (722 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.06 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by LSD 420 <lsd4444.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2006-04-29 00:38:57 EDT
I went to a communist rally the other day because I thought they'd be handing out free Russian food or something but when I got there I was like "SHIT" because I was wearing a shirt that said "Capitalism Rules!"
That and Russian food is made of like snow, vodka, and stupid looking architecture. So its grosser than Russian food.
So this crowd gathered around me and they were like
"You capitalist pig-dog. We kill you now."
So I was all
"Bitch, you can try, but yall aint gonna get wit dis."
And then they I rubbed their nipples until they went into comas.
So I went home to my apartment and put a cat in the microwave to heat it up, but it exploded. Like literally.
It burst into flames. Then it escaped the confines of the microwave and started running around, so I was like "Shit. What did the fire marshal say in grade two?"
"...And if you tell anybody about where I touched you, I'll kill your family."
Oh GOD! So I burst into tears but then I realized that was what I said to the fire marshal. He told me to stop drop and roll.
So I stopped.
I dropped to the ground.
And I toe punted the cat off the balcony.
"Shit, that wasn't right at all! What went wrong!?"
The burning cat flew through the window of the old abandoned yet still full Alcohol, Propane, and Explosives factory. It exploded.
Unfortunately, the city dump had been storing whale carcasses on the roof of the plant while they um. Renovated.
The dump.
To look nice.
For the neighbors to visit or something.
So bits of whale went flying everywhere. The city was covered in rotting whale blubber and guts. Broke roofs, broke trees, killed puppies, landed on buses... It was a complete catastrophe.
So as my debt to the city, I had to clean it up. I hired a bunch of fat people to eat the blubber, but soon they got out of control and started eating sidewalks, bus shelters, TVs, anything they could get their teefs on. We had to evacuate the city except for me and this really old guy who wouldn't because
"I lived here all ma life and I just don't think its right."
Like all old men do in times of panic.
So I had to fight the fat people.
Being a master chef, I just dropped all these pies everywhere. Some of them got so fat from the pies that the other ones would eat them, then another one would eat that one, and so forth until one was left. He was the size of an apartment building.
We named him earl and he became a local attraction. We had him encased in three feet of bronze and now he's our city statue. We give guided tours of his intestines, which were also filled with piping hot molten metal. We love that earl.
Anyways.
So the next day I sat at home all day watching TV. I started masturbating because on CNN they were doing live coverage of girl on girl action when all of a sudden they interrupted it with news of the pope's death. That pushed me over the clip.
I came all over the dead pope's simulated image.
I think I'm going to hell.
I hope so, cuz I heard satan has a really sweet poker table. And a big ass TV. And I heard his mom is a MILFITAWHHFFYCGMA.
Mom I'd like to fuck while her hot friends from yoga class give me analingus.
Or maybe that's just her name. Cuz she's Indian.
User Reviews
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-07-28 09:44:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
JEANYUS
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-05-02 19:23:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok...ok..I get it...no, no I don't....oooh...oh i see, yea know I d...no...no I'm sorry I just don't understand
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-05-02 19:06:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-04-29 10:51:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Alright this is your best one yet.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-29 10:21:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You and Bosh need to have a show down.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-04-29 09:58:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just couldn't help it, I laughed.
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-04-29 09:48:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Okay, so apparently, I'm the alter of both BOSH and ETS. What the fuck. Go away, fucking kids
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-04-29 09:44:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucks. I aint no alter. For the last fuckin time.
Submitted by Calios (user info) at 2006-04-29 09:28:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
that was too much like DudeThatsBOSH...
someone is not keeping their alters in check.
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-04-29 08:19:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
LOLWTFBBQ hit points
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2006-04-29 08:15:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hired a bunch of fat people to eat the blubber, but soon they got out of control and started eating sidewalks, bus shelters, TVs, anything they could get their teefs on.
Keep up the good work, Large Silver Dragon. Your 150 hit points serve you well.
Submitted by eppliks (user info) at 2006-04-29 04:02:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I want to, but just cannot, -2 this.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-04-29 03:45:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Shit. What did the fire marshal say in grade two?"
"...And if you tell anybody about where I touched you, I'll kill your family."
----------------------
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Submitted by Doodies (user info) at 2006-04-29 03:09:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Marvelous!
Submitted by greEn_uGly (user info) at 2006-04-29 02:57:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i wish you had no fingers....
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-04-29 01:37:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck. You.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-29 01:13:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Eloquently?? OK. You suck worse than a two-dollar slut on crack in a
gay parade. . .
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2006-04-29 00:57:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it entertained me
...like the rantings of someone with add and
hyper dimensia
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-04-29 00:52:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HOly shit, it's me again!
</sarcasm>
Submitted by jeveuxgagner (user info) at 2006-04-29 00:51:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-04-29 00:48:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fuck you, you nigger
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-04-29 00:42:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I just wrote it now. Say what you will, but at least say it eloquently.