Uberia: Chapter XXIV Legends Fall (488 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.44 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Uber Nova <lordofthepost.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2006-04-30 22:53:33 EDT
A timeless classic now updated for today's Uber readers. The fate of Uberia is in your hands, post and you too, could be a part of the story. Read the Post that started it all here:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/23306
Catch up to speed by reading the summary of the preceding chapters
Part 1: http://www.ubersite.com/m/57392
Part 2: http://www.ubersite.com/m/87282
Almost a year has passed since Lord of the Post was empowered by Maddox. He stood upon a mountaintop, with the four horsemen, overlooking Castle Ubersite, saddened by the view. A Castle, once ruled by Lord Bart and the Knights of Post, now possibly lost forever. Now the postkillers, a group of vile posters whose sole purpose is to destroy Uberia, overrun ubersite.
Over the past two years, much has happened to Uberia that has made their situation seem hopeless. The Triad, a trio of pure evil posters, were freed from their prison at Ubersite, leaving them to roam unchecked through Uberia. Lord Bart and the majority of his Knights, Paladins and Army have been slaughtered by the post-killers lead by Koolmang and McBain. Finally, Boss Gates and his Microsof Empire had caused enough spam using their Hotmail Alter Replicator to invoke the impending doom of the Blue Sky of Death, an end to all things in Uberia and beyond. Lord of the Post, formally Ed Dee, is the only one who can put an end to all of this by rebooting the server at Microsof. Even if he does succeed in infiltrating an impossible fortress, he must then save the restored Lord Bart and his army from repeating their demise.
"Alright Milord, enough of this, it's depressing to watch," DrinkDDT said to the PostLord. "He's right", said Ryan Donavon as he kicked dirt over the fire that Ranger Rick had created, "We've lost sight of the triad; we need to focus on finding them." There main objective was to infiltrate Microsof, but in the past few months the Triad has been tracking them down, sending them off track and forcing them in hiding. The Triad were far from weak. Led by Cole, the undead horror, Kristy Swan the siren and Christpuncher the savage.
As they gathered their things, they heard a dull humming noise come from a nearby brush. They spun around and saw nothing at first, then their biggest fear emerged from the shadows of the forest. It was Cole, armed with a postkill in hand. Before they could react Christpuncher lept out from the brush and drilled straight for Lowsodiummonkey. The beast ripped into his chest before he could even prepare a post in retaliation. The horseman's blood splattered across Ryan Donovan's face as he charged towards Cole, his Sand People Post glowing and forming in his hand. Before he could launch it at Cole a blood curdling shriek made him grasp his ears and fall face first and sliding across the rocks to Cole's feet. Kristy Swan glided overhead, her shriek fading. Lord of the Post tried to call a post but could not, he shook as he tried to muster any bit of post, but it did not come. He watched as Kristy swooped down and dug her claws into Ranger Rick's back, while Christpuncher pulled out the lifeless Lowsodiummonkey's entrails. Kristy and Rick disappeared into the sky as Cole drove a forceful postkill into the back of the fallen Ryan Donovan, his arms stopped flailing shortly after. DrinkDDT screamed out "YOU BASTARD" launching his "Truth about black people" post into the chest of Christpuncher, blasting a hole into his chest and dropping him to the ground, his limp body falling on the carcass of Lowsodiummonkey. As he started to line up another post aimed towards Cole, a fast-moving object fell from the sky and dropped on DrinkDDT, crushing and killing him. It was the body of Ranger Rick, they were both dead. Kristy, moments from slicing into a frozen Lord of the Post, exploded into a thousand bits. Both Cole and Lord of the Post were in shock, as they spotted Kristy's slayer. "Razor!?!" they yelled in unison, "But I thought, you were, I heard you were killed..." Lord of the Post added. "Not hardly," he answered as he spun towards Cole. "Hey Cole..." He spoke as his hands started to glow orange. Cole, enraged launched a negative two at Razor which gave him no time to launch his own posts. Razor tried to raise his hand but the negative two was coming towards him at a blinding speed. Before the rating could meet Razor's face Lord of the Post dove in front of Razor, deflecting the rating with his hands back towards Cole. The negative two cut through Cole's throat, and body of cole tumbled down the side of the mountain, rolling until it lay to rest against a rock. It was done, the triad was defeated, one problem solved.
Before Razor could say anything, Lord of the Post muttered out "How did you escape when the others were killed?" Razor was covered from head to toe in glistening platinum armor, armed to the teeth with weapons. "No time for what was, I didn't expect the Triad to make sure work of the horseman, but I've been looking for you."
"For me, why?" Lord of the Post. "Well, at first I was going to kill you." Lord of the Post's eyes widened, what the fuck? Well see that's just it, at first, I thought to myself, you aren't half the poster I am, and I should be Lord of the Post. But then I realized, we need to work together here, I mean, look at you man, without me, you would have been dead back there, so I figure it this way, we need to work together and realize who the real enemy is here.
"McBain? Boss Gates?" Lord of the Post asked,
"No," razor replied, "Post Killers in general. We need to work together and repair Uberia to the way it was, we will never wipe out postkillers altogether, and honestly, it's what makes Castle Ubersite so great, but we just have to balance out the godammed lot of them with actual good posters, you catch my drift?
"Wow, Razor, I never knew you resented me so much"
"Don't give yourself all that credit asshole, I teetered with the notion of Lord of the Post during a weak moment after I quit smoking, now I'm back to reason."
"Well Razor, I feel better having you as an ally, but with the horseman dead I don't know if..."
"Hey, you fucks done playing brokeback mountain with all the lovefest talk, can we move on now?" said Method as he made his way up the hill with Axolotl and Kaos-King.
Razor moved his head to acknowledge his party, "Lord of the Post, I've been quite busy recruiting some newer blood while you were off with the horsemen, come on, let's head back to our camp and I'll introduce you to the rebellion...
To be continued...
User Reviews
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2006-05-01 20:35:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's 2002 Pole smoker... Now go write five more posts, as it seems every fifth post you write is good... =) and don't get your sheriff's badge in a bind I'm just messing with you, shit Method is still whining about my last comment referring to posting these days... I didn't think we had to be so sensitive these days, I guess it has to do with the surge of all the emo's... emus? Elmo's? What the fuck ever...
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-05-01 18:38:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Tune in to next week's episode: IndianOcean and Yidele go after JohnGalt, who is revealed to be an alter of SoxSaxSex - next week, on UBERSITE 2001!
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2006-05-01 17:26:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Method admit it, you saw your name in my post and grew a little chubby, it's okay.. you don't have to get all excited...
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-05-01 16:14:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Just because you're an arrogant asshole.
That, and your nasty attitude reminds me of WillZone, and we all know what a talentless fat hack he is.
= )
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-05-01 16:05:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, and KK's was better written, but I understand that this person wants to finish what they started.
And I support him doing so.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-05-01 14:30:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Seems kind of cool, but didn't kaos king just do this?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-01 09:22:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-05-01 09:17:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'll read it if I'm in it, I guess. GO PROMOTION!
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-05-01 04:44:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't want to be officially part of either side. Find me a mercenary role. Or maybe a wanderer. Or an oracle. haha.
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2006-05-01 00:45:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe if you weren't such an asshole you wouldn't have aids anymore, oh wait...
Submitted by HawthorneHeights (user info) at 2006-05-01 00:43:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I felt the same way reading this when the doctor told me I have AIDS.
Please continue.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-04-30 23:33:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like this series and I'm glad it's back.
As far as I know, I'm still alive and saving the hell out of Lord Bart and shit.
Rock on Uberia.
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2006-04-30 23:00:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I read the first paragraph.
After much deliberation between me and my esteemed council of shrimp people I have decided:
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2006-04-30 22:55:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you all for your opinions on Uberia, I'm going to finish this thing, if for anything, I can't leave it undone. Hopefully some can still enjoy...