Another Reason I HATE Deigos--Banquet Hall Rant & UberPoll in ONE POST!!!!!!! (798 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -1.55 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by kissmyarse (View user info) at 2006-05-01 16:40:36 EDT
Fuck the Seville in Streamwood, IL! Its the *popular* place to have your reception if you grew up and live in the surrounding area, I've been to easily 8 functions there. My best friend from childhood got married on Saturday and I was one of her bridesmaids. And what do you know, the reception was at the Seville.
I know there are engaged people on this reading as well as the married folk so all you single losers can suck a fat one. They just did a 2 million dollar renovation, so the place looks stellar--aestetically. Then why, why, why do I hate it so much you may ask....well let me fucking tell you, jeebus.
So, I love my friend to death, but the timing was all off. Her Catholic ceremony was surprisingly short and started at 2:30 and then the reception started at 6:30! That's a four hour gap, how fucking ridiculous! And it was crappy weather, rain and chilly. We went to her parents house (only the bridal party) and had some little snacks, which were eaten up fast because everyone was starving. BUT! Then everyone was trying to stay awake for a party--they're was no booze--but I couldn't help but doze.
Finally, we went to the *popular* Seville. I even know one of the valet fuckers there...more on that later. So, they're carding at the bar, I don't have my ID and even if I did I'm 4 months short of legal consumption...so obviously my posse (fiance, mom, bridesmaids) was getting me drinks. I downed like 4 in 15 minutes and what happened....NOTHING. They watered down all the drinks, and this isn't the first time it's happened. You spend so much fucking money on a banquet hall and you can't even get drunk!? Not one person was really buzzed, no one really danced and everyone was having headaches from the lack of alcohol.
10 drinks later, I'm pissed because not only am I full from pineapple juice, but my tampon was really uncomfortable and filled up to the max. What do they have in the bathroom? Diaper pads. WTF! So I go to my mom's table, she's sitting with some of our high school teachers, and finally someone gives me a damn tampon. After I change the pon, I go OUTSIDE to have a smoke. As of a month ago, they changed the smoking policy to outside--but whatever. And I'm alone, I don't know where my man was at that point.
So I see Andy. Short, Deigo that I went to school with since elementary, even at our community college we have a course together. We were never close, but my first boyfriend was his best friend, so we've known each other for a long time.
He said, "Hey gorgeous, my brother told me some hot tall blonde broad was looking for me."
"Ha..well, yeah, just wanted to say hi. How's astronomy going. I dropped cuz my dad died."
"That sucks. You look beautiful."
"Thanks, so you'll have to meet my fiance, he's inside."
"Ok, see you later."
He was nice enough, a little flirty but he knows I'm taken. The night draws to a close with drama, sore feet, and no happy buzz. But my friend was a beautiful bride and we were taking the newlyweds to their hotel for the night.
So as the groom and my fiance are loading up the car, I walk out. Andy whistles at me unknowingly standing next to my soon-to-be groom. I said playfully, "you better watch it, that's my fiance." My fiance says in a pretty macho macho tone, "Who's whistling at my woman?!" I introduced them quickly, kinda awkward. But Jason tipped him $5--because he's not going to let some little pipsqueak get to him, and he's a stand up dude (a pretty generous Jew).
So we go in to say our final good byes and to collect the newlyweds. My fiance came out and come to find out this ill-tempered little wop had left my fiance's window down so all the rain was on his pretty leather seat. What a fucking piece of ameoba dog shit! My man was less than thrilled. I guess he had some words and made Andy wipe down his seat because I didn't know this happened until we started to leave and when I said bye to Andy he ignored me and went inside to slam the door. Little man was a little salty.
Another reason why I fucking hate HATE HATE Italians and 13-21 year old males. Those greasy short motherfucks are good for nothing, wanna be badasses.
Fucking banquet halls suck ball cheese, because truthfully, who wants to have a celebration of a joyous occasion and have three other parties polluting the sound quality of the shitty dj you have???? I fucking hate the *Seville*. So I need you uberites, to choose the following punishment and share your stories of shitty banquet hall experiences.
1) Call and report the incident to his super. <---What I want to do
2) Place threatening note on his Explorer with Anthrax inside envelope.
3) Have my fiance go in our Astronomy class, and bust this guys nose in front of all his peers. <--what he wants to do.
User Reviews
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-06-29 17:05:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-06-29 16:41:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I blame mikethescottish for my suffering through this. If he hadn't rated it then it wouldn't have been on the recently rated list and I wouldn't have seen it.
damn you mikethescottish
-----
I damn you both for bringing this shiterry up again and forcing me to read it.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-06-29 16:41:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
what uberpoll?
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-06-29 16:41:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I blame mikethescottish for my suffering through this. If he hadn't rated it then it wouldn't have been on the recently rated list and I wouldn't have seen it.
damn you mikethescottish
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2007-06-29 16:34:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
In the words of the Chuckle Brothers- oh dear oh dear.
I hope you regret this post.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-06-29 16:16:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-06-29 15:42:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow... you really are a silly, ignorant cunt.
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2006-05-02 10:45:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm only racist against Italians, I loathe them all for my own personal reasons. And really only the men. The women are nicer.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-05-02 00:56:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Blinkish (user info) at 2006-05-02 00:34:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-05-01 22:42:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wow.. This was more full of racism than anything else I've read in a long time.
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-05-01 19:49:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
He said, "Hey gorgeous, my brother told me some hot tall blonde broad was looking for me."
"Ha..well, yeah, just wanted to say hi. How's astronomy going. I dropped cuz my dad died."
"That sucks. You look beautiful."
"Thanks, so you'll have to meet my fiance, he's inside."
"Ok, see you later."
_________________
I swear this lifted from one of my stories
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2006-05-01 18:58:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2006-05-01 16:52:00 (#)
Ranking: -2
I vote option 2. That way, they'll trace it back to you. Most likely, you won't have internet privileges in prison, so we'll all win.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-05-01 18:42:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This WOP Deigo, paisan guinea would like to slice your gullet open just to spit in it.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-05-01 18:03:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is one of the most offensive things ever.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-05-01 17:42:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
"Ha..well, yeah, just wanted to say hi. How's astronomy going. I dropped cuz my dad died."
?
Submitted by mles76 (user info) at 2006-05-01 17:32:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-05-01 17:01:34 (#)
Ranking: -2
What the fuck was this?
Submitted by myexstaintstain (user info) at 2006-05-01 17:20:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-05-01 17:01:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What the fuck was this?
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2006-05-01 16:57:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's what my Irish father would say to me jokingly growing up. It's my pathetic way of paying homage to my Irish roots.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-05-01 16:55:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It IS D-I-E-G-O. I should know, I am one.
And if you're American, are you trying to be worldly, saying 'arse' instead of..you know..'ass'?
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2006-05-01 16:52:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you know what, I dont care if this post is boring, I'm bored and I really needed to vent that out. And leilani, it's dEIgos, and that's how I've seen it spelled. not dIEgo, the mexican guy who cuts your lawn. You know what I meant, if you want to play semantics go elsewhere.
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2006-05-01 16:52:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I vote option 2. That way, they'll trace it back to you. Most likely, you won't have internet privileges in prison, so we'll all win.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-05-01 16:50:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-05-01 16:46:24 (#)
Ranking: -2
4. Kill yourself and then you won't have to go to any more weddings.
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You beat me to it, saved me the effort of typing it out though.
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2006-05-01 16:50:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Even the bride was pissed, they're Polish! If you've ever been married, you know how much it costs to rent one of those and it was open bar. Their snide way to cut costs.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-05-01 16:49:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
were you trying to say "Dego", as in the ethnic slur referring to Italians?
or "Diego" the hispanic man's name
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-05-01 16:49:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What kind of Catholicas don't drink alcohol? Muslim-Catholics?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-05-01 16:48:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
haha "noob"
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2006-05-01 16:46:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
stfu noob.
Submitted by Webered (user info) at 2006-05-01 16:46:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I got bored. This is boring.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-05-01 16:46:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
4. Kill yourself and then you won't have to go to any more weddings.