You thought it was too good to be true... (912 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.18 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ElectricWardySyndrome (View user info) at 2006-05-03 08:58:35 EDT
BUT IT ISN'T!!! HAHAHHAHAH!!! I'm back you mother fucker's!!! After I was dumb enough to make a promise I didn't want to keep, I quickly realized I'd be a hyppocrit if I came back.
So what'd I do? I'll tell you.
I highjacked the nearest solar-hydrogen-electric powered scooter I could find and zoomed my way up to Wisconsin (I'm good at highjacking (YAY!!))
Once I was in Wisconsin, I found that little snot-nosed punk Wardy. He's been a real pain in my side as of late, and I decided if I was going to be fulfilling promises, I should be fulfilling the one about me promising him that I'd break his face and stomp his neck and all that malenky business.
His apartment wasn't hard to find. It was the one with the giant 'Douchebag' sign above it. He answered the door in his underoos and I was immediately hard. Not because of the underoos, but because he was eating Pops. I gotta have my Pops.
He must've been awful scared to see me, cause he immediately wet himself like the stupid fucking pussy we all know he is. I started out by slapping him across the face with my dueling glove and said "I challenge you to a duel! Are you a coward, or do you accept?"
"Wow, ETS really is unoriginal in real life. Who would've guessed with all the Nirvana covers and rehashed conspiracy theories..." Was his reply.
Well I'd had enough. I threw down the glove, put up my boxing mits and started swinging away. He dropped his bowl of Pops (which only made me angrier) and tried to defend himself. Despite his super amazing ninja skills, he could not fight off the element of surprise. I threw him against the wall and punched him into a bloody, lifeless heap.
Lucky for me, he was still logged onto his uber account. So now that I've taken over his uber account, I guess that's an exception to the promise, right? Right?
*On a side note, I was pleasantly surprised when I went into his kitchen and found that he had more than chicken and beef flavored Ramen. I don't know about you guys, but after eating that stuff for twelve years straight, it's good to get a bit of change in your diet.
User Reviews
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-06-11 20:48:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 to negate Zanatos. Poor kid, I mean, he's already in Wisco!
Submitted by Zanatos (user info) at 2006-06-11 20:29:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
meh. -2 because you write like you think you're an authority on creative writing...
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-05-16 12:53:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"You don't even know who i am!" -- Family Guy
Submitted by CarmenGhia (user info) at 2006-05-16 11:51:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This guy really sucks cock
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-05-12 11:00:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
alba BOOM!
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-05-04 05:22:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-05-03 09:38:48 (#)
Ranking: 0
everyone called me dory :( after that movie came out. they said it was meant in an endearing way. why do they all hate me?
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HJAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-05-04 05:20:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i'm gonna miss him
:'(
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-05-04 05:19:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-05-04 05:07:42 (#)
Ranking: -1
+1 for just keep swiming, but the post is about as funny as a calculator.
And not a calculator into which someone has typed one million one hundred and eight thousand and eight.
A calculator which is turned off.
-------
You know, I actually went and typed that into a calculator after I read it. :(
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-05-04 05:17:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"I gotta have my pops."
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-05-04 05:07:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
+1 for just keep swiming, but the post is about as funny as a calculator.
And not a calculator into which someone has typed one million one hundred and eight thousand and eight.
A calculator which is turned off.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-05-03 15:55:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You're really not very funny, are you. +1 for caring.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-05-03 12:06:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ok. Thanks.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-05-03 11:14:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ct might be the biggest homo on this website. why don't you go make another gay pop song of your shitty poetry.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-05-03 10:59:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Because we want to see the live WebCast of him going all Waco.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-05-03 10:33:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Why does everyone keep fueling the fire?
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-05-03 10:31:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Know what pisses me off most?
He decides to leave TWO POSTS AFTER I DECIDE TO STOP RESPONDING TO HIM...
God damnit. I wanted to gloat on his grave...
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-05-03 10:06:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
finding nemo
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-05-03 09:46:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
P. Sherman
42 Wallaby Way
Sydney
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-05-03 09:45:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i really have no idea what i'm going to do in my free time now that he's gone.
guess it's back to righty...
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-05-03 09:38:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
everyone called me dory :( after that movie came out. they said it was meant in an endearing way. why do they all hate me?
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-05-03 09:35:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-05-03 09:09:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-05-03 09:04:08 (#)
Ranking: -2
just keep swimming
just keep swimming...
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I watched that this weekend, after a 12 hour party, and I was still all kinds of high.
It changed my life, I tell you.
--------------------------
what fucking movie!
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-05-03 09:32:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
made me smile.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-05-03 09:21:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What do we do?
We swim. Swim.
Ah-ah-ah-ah- I LOVE TO SWIM AND WHEN YOU LOOOVE TO SWIM YOU WANT TO . . . .
Marlin: Oh. Now I'm going to have that song stuck in my head.
Dori: Sorry. =(
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-05-03 09:21:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-05-03 09:11:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
phuzzy -- that movie kicks all sorts of ass...
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-05-03 09:09:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-05-03 09:04:08 (#)
Ranking: -2
just keep swimming
just keep swimming...
----
I watched that this weekend, after a 12 hour party, and I was still all kinds of high.
It changed my life, I tell you.
Submitted by hungovermondays (user info) at 2006-05-03 09:05:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I lost my dueling glove.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-05-03 09:04:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
just keep swimming
just keep swimming...
Submitted by Kidmc (user info) at 2006-05-03 09:02:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What ze fuck you talking about man?!! Go give your head a wobble.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-05-03 09:02:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Today I've had to punish a man for being mentally ill. I feel dirty.