IGKTW - Round 2: Remittance (487 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.83 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by CaptainThorns (View user info) at 2006-05-04 09:22:28 EDT
Part 1: Verisimilitude - http://www.ubersite.com/m/87068
-------------------------------------------------
"Lucy, you just so damn BAD!"
"Kill her!"
"Git back here, evil woman child!"
Katie Lucretia Wells bolted down Main Street, fleeing the angry mob that was in hot pursuit. Carrying a torch in my hand, I surged to the head of the crowd as she rounded the corner by Walter's drugstore and trapped herself into a dead-end alley. Damn stupid woman never did know her way around town.
"Lucy! You done driven a young man insane!" hollered Reverend Arvill. "Now git over here! Don't make us burn you at the stake!"
God help me, I was READY to kill her now. Not two days after my whispered prayer to the good Lord for my growing impatience with our marital problems, I'd caught her in the barn on a pile of hay with one of our hired hands, Luther. That damn nigger sure did know how to deliver the goods, I'll give him that. Never seen Lucy shake her tail for ME like that, and may the good Lord have mercy on my soul if she wasn't howling like the Wendego.
Much as I'd had an inkling to bust up Luther's head with a spade and belt Lucy 'till the cows came home, I knew I had to restrain my temper or I'd wind up in jail. So I went to see Reverend Arvill the next day. Surely he would have a peaceful suggestion for me to handle this matter.
Damn if the Rev hadn't gotten hotter than a branding iron when I told him, though. "She did WHAT?!?" Arvill screamed.
"She was...having...you know...inter...with my slav...I mean, Luther," I stammered in tears, shocked by his response.
"Well, that settles it!" he said and slammed his fist down on the tiny wooden table in the rectory. "You know what God says about white women having relations with his kind, and the good folk here in Salt Creek just won't stand for it, either. We have to put a stop to this NOW before every one of our wives start thinking they can get away with fooling around with black men."
"I guess I shouldn't have been surprised, Reverend," I quietly replied. "I mean, you know her mom was the talk of the sticks, and her dad...well, there ain't nuttin' he wouldn't do for kicks. Never done nothin' worthwhile, the whole lot of the family."
"Well, yes, of course," Arvill seethed. "Follow me. We'll take care of this little matter right now and make sure your name stays clean." With that, the preacher of Salt Creek ran up the belltower and started pulling on the rope, sounding twelve deep knolls on the ancient bell to call a town emergency meeting. For added emphasis, he stuck his head out of the tower and cried, "Hear ye! Hear ye! Town meeting! Hurry!"
As the townsfolk began to emerge from their homes and make their way towards the house of God, Reverend Arvill began to preach in the street. "The Devil has one of our own under lock and key! And he ain't about to set her free either! Yes, children of God, give ears to hear! The Angel of Light has Lucy signed, sealed, and witnessed to him! Yes, Lucretia has fallen to the ways of Delilah!"
The community was instantly abuzz with curiosity and questions. "Lucy? You mean HIS Lucy?" "Not her!" "Are you sure?"
"Sure as rain, I'm sure!" Arvill belted out. "We have eyewitness testimony, from her very own husband here, that she was with another man! A BLACK man!"
A collective gasp arose, immediately followed by angry chatter. "No!" "Really?!?" "What a whore!" "You know, I done seen Lucy with a six pack jug of wine the other day!" "Let's git 'er!" At that, the band of citizens transformed into a vicious mob and surged away from the church in search of my cheating wife, carrying me along in the crowd before I could even protest to argue a peaceful settlement.
Forty minutes later, and now Lucy was trapped in the alley, her raven black hair in a tangled mess, eyes in a frenzied panic. The clothes she was wearing just didn't fit her right, either. Her torn, weathered blouse barely met her stomach, and her slacks were so tight that the rope around her waist served no useful purpose other than for show.
"Lucretia, honey, where you been all night? And why ain't you dressed up in style?" I spit at her. "Explain yourself now before they kill you!"
"Ain't no use tryin' to fake him out, child," added the Reverend. "Danny Joe here's been paying all your monthly rent, like a faithful husband should, and for this? Soon he'll be taking out his doom on you, if you don't confess. What you goin' to do?"
Her back against the fence by the drugstore, Lucy caught her breath and gasped, "Y'all don't understand. It wasn't my doing. Luther and those men...they forced themselves on me..."
"LIES!" howled the preacher. "Filthy, wretched lies! Repent immediately or face the Lord's wrathful vengeance!"
Turning to face Arvill with a look of horror, I exclaimed, "But Father, isn't vengeance the Lord's alone to give and take?"
"Damn straight it is, son," he replied. "And we are His tools of vengeance, for Him to use as he sees fit. Are you questioning my God-given authority? Do you not want your name made right?"
"We-well, of c-course, I do," I stuttered. "But like this..."
"Then let it be so," Reverend Arvill declared. "Now, one last chance to offer your remittance, Katie Lucretia: do you repent of your sins before these children of God in the holy name of Jesus?" Lucy's left leg twitched in response, and her lips opened as if to speak, but no sound escaped from her mouth.
After two seconds that seemed like an eternity, the Reverend shouted, "In the name of God then, you must die!" As the mob advanced quickly on her, Lucy quickly looked left, right, then up, and at the last possible second, vaulted backwards over the whitewashed fence. As she landed on her feet on the other side and the sound of her footsteps vanished into the woods, I breathed a silent prayer for her safety, and for this new situation that I was now in, facing the prospect of having a cheating and deserting wife for the remainder of my days.
-------------------------
Adapted from "Lucretia McEvil" by Blood, Sweat, and Tears
Lucretia McEvil little girl what's your game
Hard luck and trouble bound to be your claim to fame
Tail shakin' home breakin' truckin' through town
Each and every country mother's son hangin' round
Drive a young man insane
Evil that's your name
Lucretia McEvil bet you think you're doing fine
Back seat Delilah, got your six pack jug o' wine, woman
I hear your mother was the talk of the sticks
Nothing that your daddy wouldn't do for kicks
Never done a thing worthwhile
Evil Woman Child
Devil got you Lucy under lock and key.
Ain't about to set you free
Signed, sealed and witnessed on the day you were born
No use trying to fake him out
No use trying to make him out
Soon he'll be taking out his doom
What you goin' to do?
Ooh Lucy McEvil
Honey, where you been all night
Your hair's all messed up babe and the clothes you're wearing just don't fit you right, no
Danny Joe's been paying all your monthly rent
Tells his wife he can't imagine where the money went
Dressing you up in style
Evil Woman Child
Ooh, Lucy, you just so damn bad!
User Reviews
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-05-08 09:41:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good one, Captain.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-05-04 16:44:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-05-04 15:43:34 (#)
Ranking: 1
1.0, as it left me confused.
You link it to the round one entry, and if this is the same guy, why is he calling her Lucy instead of Katie (and yeah, I'm aware of her full name).
Also, it's hard to know WHEN this takes place. The first chapter seemed to be contemporary (???) yet here they are chasing her with torches (???) and you mention a slave and a six-pack jug of wine (???).
If this was a stand alone piece I still would have been confused, but might give it a 1.5 rating.
Is it just me?
Also, if she got away, whom got vengeance, and why?
------------------------------------------------------
But WHOM got vengeance and why? :)
Jack, This was a bit what I was afraid of...potential confusion on the differences between my Round 1 and 2 entries. Look closer at the language. The main character is a well-to-do, wealthy plantation owner in the south (he can afford satin sheets, a counselor, etsc.) who has a troubled wife and these details was purposely omitted from Round 1 to build on character in Round 2. If you examine his phrasings, he speaks better English than the rest of the townsfolk, with the exception of the preacher, who plays to his crowd but can speak properly when he chooses to. He calls his wife Katie at home, and Lucy/Lucretia in town, out of her preference to go by her middle name with others. Am I trying to fit her character around the blues song? Yeah...hope this rationale suffices.
As far as vengeance, the main character (me - I write this in the first person) is the one seeking vengeance, for her purported adultery - with the preacher's evil guiding - but she obviously made a narrow escape for reasons to be explained in the next installment.
Trust me, it'll all become much clearer in Round 3...provided I make it that far. Although either way I suppose I'll continue it.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-05-04 15:43:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
1.0, as it left me confused.
You link it to the round one entry, and if this is the same guy, why is he calling her Lucy instead of Katie (and yeah, I'm aware of her full name).
Also, it's hard to know WHEN this takes place. The first chapter seemed to be contemporary (???) yet here they are chasing her with torches (???) and you mention a slave and a six-pack jug of wine (???).
If this was a stand alone piece I still would have been confused, but might give it a 1.5 rating.
Is it just me?
Also, if she got away, whom got vengeance, and why?
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-05-04 11:04:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Always liked the name Lucretia-- not so sure about "McEvil"...
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-05-04 11:01:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-05-04 10:31:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Righteous.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-05-04 10:01:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-05-04 09:56:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cool.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-05-04 09:30:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yup.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-05-04 09:27:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-05-04 09:27:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Pretty good. I didn't quite feel the crazy from the preacher, and that irks a little. 1.5
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-05-04 09:22:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Contest link: http://www.ubersite.com/m/87365