Chips Ahoy are an unnatural cookie. (1029 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.37 on 25 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by crsunlimited (View user info) at 2006-05-04 16:45:13 EDT
I have yet to meet anyone who can bake a cookie that is that soft. It defies the laws of cookie physics. The only time cookies are that soft in my house is right as they are coming out of the oven. If you dunk them, Chips Ahoy stay together longer then home baked cookies as well. These leads me to two conclusions.
1. These are not real cookies, but some kind of edible foam with addictive chemicals.
Or
2. A band of disgruntled elves from the Keebler tree got fed up with living in the rural forest
area and headed for the city. They now are multi-millionaires working for Nabisco.
User Reviews
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-05-05 09:40:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
SOFT cookies suck.
cookies and ice cream need to be HARD.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-05-05 09:05:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2006-05-04 19:06:05 (#)
Ranking: 0
This all sounds very complicated, and makes me thankful for sticking to Bourbon Creams.
~~~~~
I hear ya.
I don't like milk chocolate.
Plain chocolate ont he other hand, is DELICIOUS. Especially the Green & Blacks brand bars with orange. I'd kill for one of those right now.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-05-05 08:35:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What? The standard Chips Ahoy I've eaten for YEARS are hard and crumble on impact.
Now Soft Batch, THOSE are soft cookies.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-05-05 07:56:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2006-05-04 20:14:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-05-04 17:25:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
I hate Chips Ahoy cookies. I hate all chocolate chip cookies. Actually, I hate chocolate.
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Fucking racist.
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BadAss Julie is neither a real woman nor human.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-05-05 00:40:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks for sharing.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-04 22:37:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-05-04 17:16:56 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-04 16:54:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-05-04 16:51:44 (#)
Ranking: 1
On a related note, I find the latest Chips Ahoy commercial to be totally halarious - it's the Claymation kind, with a bunch of merry, plaid-clad Claymation gutterpunks singing 'Chips OI! OI! OI!' until a kindly bobby walks up and says 'ERE now, it's Chips AHOY, not Chips OI!'
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I didn't know you were British.
That makes you my sworn enemy. Prepare to have your queen molested and your princes and dukes gang-cuckolded.
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Dude, I'm in California - that's what makes the commericial so great - it's so retro!
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About two hundred and thirty years retro
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-05-04 22:12:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2006-05-04 19:20:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
what the fuck is a 'natural' cookie, they're all piles of processed shit mashed together and cooked at 4 times a normal earthly temperature
I am fucking incensed at your ignorance
____________________________________________________
...what about the Snickerdoodle tree? Native to South America and parts of Africa?
yeah you forgot about that one.
Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2006-05-04 20:14:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-05-04 17:25:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
I hate Chips Ahoy cookies. I hate all chocolate chip cookies. Actually, I hate chocolate.
=================
Fucking racist.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2006-05-04 19:20:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what the fuck is a 'natural' cookie, they're all piles of processed shit mashed together and cooked at 4 times a normal earthly temperature
I am fucking incensed at your ignorance
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2006-05-04 19:06:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This all sounds very complicated, and makes me thankful for sticking to Bourbon Creams.
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2006-05-04 17:59:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I bet someone beat me to it, but...
Chunky Chips Ahoy! Oi! Oi! Oi!
That's all I have to say.
Submitted by crsunlimited (user info) at 2006-05-04 17:44:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well I have been trying to post at least on shit post Thursdays, so that is why they are so short.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-05-04 17:34:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you know, I actually took the time to look at all your posts and they're not really that bad. But they're way too short. You should write a post like this into word everytime you get an idea and wait a month...no, a YEAR! yeah a year...shit, better be on the safe side and just wait like five or six.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-05-04 17:33:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't use grenoble nuts - I use Vichy nuts - more cheesy flavour, and your bowels surrender a lot quicker!
(he means walnuts, btw)
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grenoble nuts wokrs too.
Vichy makes great facial products. Oddly enough, it's all written in German. :-O
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-05-04 17:31:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by crsunlimited (user info) at 2006-05-04 17:30:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm still trying to figure out what brown flour is? Would that be wheat flour?
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Well there is white flour, and brown flour...oh yes, wheat flour! you are right!! sorry :-P
Submitted by crsunlimited (user info) at 2006-05-04 17:30:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm still trying to figure out what brown flour is? Would that be wheat flour?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-05-04 17:27:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-05-04 17:19:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
i know a "healthy" do-it-yourself version of chip-ahoy cookies that takes about two min. to prepare.
i'll try to do my best in my poor culinary english
1½ cup of cassonade (brown sugar?)
2 cups of brown flour
1½ of oatmeal (not cooked, obviously and take the big flakes)
½ cup of wheat germs (these will make you shit heavily...watch out)
1 tea spoon of bake soda
1 tea spoon of salt
2 tea spoon of vanilla
1 cup of chocolate chips
½ cup of grenoble nuts
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I don't use grenoble nuts - I use Vichy nuts - more cheesy flavour, and your bowels surrender a lot quicker!
(he means walnuts, btw)
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-05-04 17:25:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hate Chips Ahoy cookies. I hate all chocolate chip cookies. Actually, I hate chocolate.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-05-04 17:24:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and yes, it's disguting to think that you could leave this cookies out for a century and they would never harden.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-05-04 17:19:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i know a "healthy" do-it-yourself version of chip-ahoy cookies that takes about two min. to prepare.
i'll try to do my best in my poor culinary english
1½ cup of cassonade (brown sugar?)
2 cups of brown flour
1½ of oatmeal (not cooked, obviously and take the big flakes)
½ cup of wheat germs (these will make you shit heavily...watch out)
1 tea spoon of bake soda
1 tea spoon of salt
2 tea spoon of vanilla
1 cup of chocolate chips
½ cup of grenoble nuts
then 1 cup of margarine and 2 eggs to link the whole thing.
Mix with your hands (it's quicker) and cook at 350 degrees between 10-12 minutes on a greased biscuit plate and voilà!
These cookies taste almost exactly like chip-ahoys except they don't dry up and ddon't require outrageous amount of fat to stay soft.
p.s. you can replace the salt with semen. it's empowering to see people eat your seed. :-D
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-05-04 17:16:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-04 16:54:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-05-04 16:51:44 (#)
Ranking: 1
On a related note, I find the latest Chips Ahoy commercial to be totally halarious - it's the Claymation kind, with a bunch of merry, plaid-clad Claymation gutterpunks singing 'Chips OI! OI! OI!' until a kindly bobby walks up and says 'ERE now, it's Chips AHOY, not Chips OI!'
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I didn't know you were British.
That makes you my sworn enemy. Prepare to have your queen molested and your princes and dukes gang-cuckolded.
------
Dude, I'm in California - that's what makes the commericial so great - it's so retro!
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-05-04 16:58:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Now I want some milk and cookies. Fuck you.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-04 16:54:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-05-04 16:51:44 (#)
Ranking: 1
On a related note, I find the latest Chips Ahoy commercial to be totally halarious - it's the Claymation kind, with a bunch of merry, plaid-clad Claymation gutterpunks singing 'Chips OI! OI! OI!' until a kindly bobby walks up and says 'ERE now, it's Chips AHOY, not Chips OI!'
------
I didn't know you were British.
That makes you my sworn enemy. Prepare to have your queen molested and your princes and dukes gang-cuckolded.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-05-04 16:51:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
On a related note, I find the latest Chips Ahoy commercial to be totally halarious - it's the Claymation kind, with a bunch of merry, plaid-clad Claymation gutterpunks singing 'Chips OI! OI! OI!' until a kindly bobby walks up and says 'ERE now, it's Chips AHOY, not Chips OI!'
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-05-04 16:49:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Maybe it's the sobriety talking, but I don't get it.