Totally Useless Penis Facts, Part I (nsfw) (14230 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: 1.48 on 60 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Axolotl .93 (View user info) at 2006-05-06 11:42:44 EDT
Average length of penis when not erect: 3.5 inches
Average length when erect: 5.2 - 6.4 inches
The Longest: 13 inches
The Smallest: 5/8 of an inch
Largest penis in the animal kingdom: 11 feet (blue whale)
Men supposedly worry endlessly over their penis size, and in popular thought, a small penis signifies an inadequate lover.
Medical books refute this, but it is still widely believes.
If men measure their own organs, they are likely to exaggerate, and even if women measure their partner's, they are still apt to exaggerate.
The longest encountered penis on the Kinsey report was ten inches.
Although reports from 1890 to the present indicate penile size of above twelve, the width of the penis more affects stimulation than the length.
Penis size can be increased by pumps, but only temporarily. Permanent increase requires surgery, with its risks of infection, and permanent ED. Personally, I would rather no sharp knives in that area.
On March 15 in Japan, there's a festival celebrating fertility in which a 900-pound wooden penis is paraded around Komaki, and women carry massive dildos in their arms.
Smallest human penis
The smallest penis encountered in the Kinsey survey was 1 inch long, while the smallest in the Forum study in 1935 was 4.75 inches.
There are records of penises that do not exceed 1 cm in full erection, known as Micropenis.
There is a condition called hypoplasia, where the body of the penis is absent and the head is attached to the pubis.
Usually the testes are normal-sized. In 14th century Europe, high ranking noblemen were permitted to display their genitals below a short tunic, while those not impressively endowed if they chose, wear a braquette, a fake penis.
On the topic of royal families, King Edward VII had a special table built so his fat body could properly engage in sex.
When men of the Walibri tribe of central Australia greet each other, they shake penises instead of hands
The Caramoja tribe of Northern Uganda tie a weight on the end of their penises to elongate them, sometimes having to knot them up
The Mambas of the New Hebrides wrap theirs in yards of cloth, making them look up to 17 inches long
.
Largest penis by race
There are definite size differences on a basis of race
Large Arab penises are 8-10 inches, but in 1890s, Dr. Jacobus found the largest penis in a Sudanese Negro: 12 inches by 2 inches. The stunned researcher concluded it was "a terrific machine" - "more likely the penis of a donkey than of a man." He concluded that the "Sudanese Negro possesses the largest genital organ of all the races of mankind".
In a less extensive survey, but equally interesting, Dr. Robert Chartham measured erect penises for groups of men of various nationalities. The largest organs for each nationality were as follows: English - 10½ in.; West German - 8½ in.; Negro - 7½ in.; French - 7¾ in.; Danish 8 in.; American - 7¾ in.; and Swedish 7¾ in.
Smallest penis by race
Hindu men average around four inches in the Jacobus survey
In the Chartham survey the smallest organs in the various nationality groups were as follows: English - 2¾ in.; West German - 3½ in.; Negro - 4 in.; French 3½ in.; Danish - 5 in.; American - 3½ in.; and Swedish - 5 in.
Largest penis by sex offender class
The Kinsey group compiled data on penis size for the detailed report on sex offenders.
Penis lengths for various groups were found to average 6.3 to 6.5 in.
Pederasts and pedophiles reported an above-average length penis (around 6.75 in.).
The penis size of exhibitionists was not above average
Colin Wilson in his "Origins of the Sexual Impulse" remarked that the penis of the sexual murderer DeWitt Clinton Cook was "so tiny that he and his wife were forced to satisfy one another orally."
Most detailed record of phalli amputated in battle
In 1300 BC King Menephta defeated the Libyans, bringing back more than 13,000 phalli taken from his defeated adversaries. On an ancient monument at Karnak details of his success are given:
o Phalluses of Libyan generals 6
o Phalluses cut off Libyans 6,359
o Sirculians killed, phalluses cut off 222
o Etruscans killed, phalluses cut off 542
o Greeks killed, phalluses presented to the King 6,111
Largest human testicle
Veneral illnesses can swell the testicles ot the size of a football
The ideal testicle is between 4 and 4.5 cm long, and from 2 to 2.8 broad
Elephantiasis swells testicles larger than a victim's head
Heaviest human breasts
Many men, as we all know, are fascinated by massive breasts.
Big Julie and Big Bertha of vintage stripping fame had fifty-odd-inch busts.
Emile Zola wrote of Desire who kept a bar and a dance hall (was she based on fact?) - "she seemed so vast, with a pair of breasts each one of which required a man to embrace it. Rumour had it that nowadays she had to have two of her weekday lovers each night to cope with the job."
In one recorded instance ("The Sexual Anatomy of Woman" by W. F. Benedict), a girl of fourteen had breasts weighing sixteen pounds; and in another case a woman of thirty had breasts weighing fifty-two pounds.
As with the male sexual organs breasts are sometimes grossly enlarged by disease or some other unwelcome cause. For instance some women have hyper-trophied breasts, sagging vastly and of quite giant proportions.
An Abyssinian woman with this condition is shown by Mantegazza in his book, "The Sexual Relations of Mankind".
Most pendulous breasts by race
Breasts can become long, dangling strips of skin, like in some African tribes, common in young and old women.
It is not unknown for women to toss their breasts over their shoulders to keep them out of the way while working.
Least pendulous breasts by race
Asians have the smallest breasts by race
Most capacious human vagina
The vagina is generally small, but can expand when aroused to welcome the penis, nearly doubling its capacity. It is not always realised, however, how capacious the human vagina can in fact be.
There is a case reported by Walter (a matter of fact if we are to believe the Kronohausens' interpretation of "My Secret Life"), in which a woman is encouraged to insert as many coins as possible into her vagina. Walter produced five English pounds - "all in shillings" - and attempted to insert as many coins as possible into the woman's capacious tract. "Shilling after shilling I put up her, until forty were embedded in the elastic gully. . ." On and on she went until no less than seventy coins were inserted - "Triumphantly, she walked up and down the room, none falling out of her vagina." In the event the woman, Nellie, managed to retain eighty-four shillings in this manner - "I wish someone would do this every day."
Most remarkable tricks played by vagina
In addition to serving as a money-box the vagina can also play the part of a billiard table, a game seemingly favoured in parts of Scandinavia.
Thus one writer (J. C. Lauret in "The Danish Sex Fairs") remarks "The ladies will lift up their skirts... They will sit against the wall, their legs spread well apart. The gentlemen will take their places on the opposite side of the room... Everyone has a try. The object is to flick the glass marbles into the hole of this delightful billiard table. One can guess at the winner's reward..."
But this is passive on the part of the woman. The vagina has other possibilities. It can, for instance drink a glass of whisky or play a mouth organ notices E. Chou in "The Dragon and the Phoenix".
Most remarkable vaginal contents
Medical men have been called upon to extract a wide variety of objects from the vagina and urethra following masturbation or accident. Usually the woman knew that the object was inside her and requested medical assistance. Sometimes however a foreign body can lodge in the vagina, after an accident of some sort, and the woman can be totally unaware of its presence. A remarkable instance of this sort occurred when a woman fell downstairs (D. W. T. Roberts' "Clinical Surgery", Vol. 15). A broken-off handle of a broom entered the vagina through the buttock. This was not noticed by her or by the casualty officer who treated her. The broom handle remained undetected in the woman's vagina for three months. Eventually the vaginal discharge made her visit her own practitioner, whereupon the offending object was detected and removed.
First vaginal transplant
A woman aged twenty-one in Salonica was reported as having a boyfriend, two years after receiving a vagina transplant from her mother aged fifty. A professor at the city's university was reported as saying there had been no signs of tissue rejection. The woman's previous deformity had led to the dissolution of her first marriage. The operation to equip her with a new genital tract was apparently successful ("Guardian", 5/3/73).
Longest human clitoris
Clitoris size has not been important in human society.
Easter Islanders and Polynesians have tried to enlarge their clitori, but in Europe, with little attention to sexual arousal in women, the clitoris has been ignored.
Theo Lang in "The Difference Between a Man and a Woman" mentions one recorded instance of a woman having a clitoris 2 in. long, and 3 in. "when fully erect".
Kinsey has remarked that clitorises measuring more than 1 in. are very rare in whites, but may occur in 2 or 3 per cent of blacks "measurements of 3 in. and more were obtained from perhaps one out of 300 or 400 black women".
Benjamin and Masters note in "The Prostitute in Society" that Parent-Duchalet came across a clitoris that measured 3.14 in.
The eighteenth-century Swiss biologist, Albrecht von Haller, is said to have come across a woman with a monstrous clitoris no less than 7 in. long.
But the record clitoris is almost certainly the 12 in. specimen mentioned by various writers and quoted (without comment) by W. Francis Benedict in "The Sexual Anatomy of Women".
Largest buttocks
Large buttocks are associated with Hottentot, Bushman, and other African tribes.
The condition is said to be rare in white women.
In its most developed state each buttock can be two or three feet across and even the youngest members of the tribe can exhibit enormously inflated posteriors.
Montegazza has included a number of pictures of women with posterior steatopygy.
Longest female pubic hair
Havelock Ellis worked as a midwife in his early days, and he notes that only in one case did long pubic hair hamper his efforts.
In some remarkable cases recorded by a certain Mr. F. L. John (1778-1852) the pubic hair was longer than the women's ordinary hair. Thus (Paulini): the pubic hair reached the knees.... (Bartholia): the pubic hair was plaited behind the woman's back.
Ronald Learsall, who nicely notes these instances, observes with appropriate insight that such cases "are unquestionably freakish."
Most prolific growth of pubic hair
Walter (of "My Secret Life"), an evident connoisseur in such matters, talks with clear delight of a fine bush of "Scots red" pubic hair - "The bush was long and thick, twisting and curling in masses half-way up to her navel, and it spread about 5 in. up her buttocks, gradually getting shorter there." In another part of his autobiography Walter remarks that he has seen those "bare of hair, those with but hairy stubble, those with bushes six inches long, covering them from bum bone to navel." And he adds reflectively - "there is not much that I have not seen, felt or tried, with respect to this supreme female article."
In like vein, in the "Memoires of Dolly Morton", an American classic, the attributes of Miss Dean are noted with some surprise (she is tripped and beaten for helping runaway slaves) - her spot was covered with a "thick forest of glossy dark brown hair," with locks nearly two inches long. One man remarked, "But Gosh! I've never seen such a fleece between a woman's legs in my life. Darn me if she wouldn't have to be sheared before man could get into her."
Earliest growth of male pubic hair
H. Jolly mentions a boy of only eighteen months who had both an enlarged penis and pubic hair. Often such conditions are associated with a number of other abnormalities. In the cited case the boy "presented with a right-sided abdominal mass." Autopsy showed the mass to be a primary hepatoblastoma.
Latest growth of female pubic hair
In the Kinsey survey some women did not have any pubic hair until they reached the age of eighteen. It is unlikely that this is a record. We may reasonably speculate that some women in their early twenties have not yet started to grow hair in the genital area.
Earliest growth of female pubic hair
In the "normality spread," as shown, for example, in Kinsey (p.123) some girls began growing pubic hair as early as eight years of age. This is very young to begin such growth yet cannot be considered "abnormal." The real records relate to instances of sexual precocity often, as we have seen, connected with (sometimes fatal) abnormalities.
Hugh Jolly noted instances of pubic hair in babies, in one case a girl of only one month old had hair growth around the genitals.
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This isn't meant to be anything you haven't seen, a huge medical discovery. All this is about is entertainment, and relieving some boredom, what Uber's all about.
User Reviews
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-15 00:12:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
NO I AGREE
Best shitfuck method captain thorns squattail professorfuckface badassmofo merlina tigerlilly ilikesteak darko boblola inion_de_trua orgasmatron sideburns bart polyamorousaj kaos-king pentameter cabaretgirl nsfw habeeb christpuncher phuzzygish davros sphagnum georgemichael stevie_says jmg razor firefly mickginny matt maiorano domenad anthony loscario queenashlee mystiamoon stabkill chronic_masturbator electrictoothsyndrome jack mccallum EVER!!!!!
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-15 00:09:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Best shitfuck ever
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-12 19:08:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
THIS SHOULD BE ON MVM
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-31 09:12:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I love google.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-05-08 11:20:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you don't trust a dictionary?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-08 10:54:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-05-08 10:37:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
and pubis is a real word.
http://hyperdictionary.com/search.aspx?define=pubis
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Hmm! I don't trust your "English."
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-05-08 10:37:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and pubis is a real word.
http://hyperdictionary.com/search.aspx?define=pubis
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-05-08 10:36:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
11 feet cock!
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-08 10:26:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-05-08 09:43:29 (#)
Ranking: 1
In some remarkable cases recorded by a certain Mr. F. L. John (1778-1852) the pubic hair was longer than the women's ordinary hair. Thus (Paulini): the pubic hair reached the knees.... (Bartholia): the pubic hair was plaited behind the woman's back.
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GAH!!!!
And how the bloody hell is it POSSIBLE to have a penis less than 1 cm in length erect?
That's THIS long: ____ (yes I held a ruler up to my screen)
WHAT THE FUCK MATE
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weeps
That's a very large penis.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-05-08 09:43:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
In some remarkable cases recorded by a certain Mr. F. L. John (1778-1852) the pubic hair was longer than the women's ordinary hair. Thus (Paulini): the pubic hair reached the knees.... (Bartholia): the pubic hair was plaited behind the woman's back.
----------------
GAH!!!!
And how the bloody hell is it POSSIBLE to have a penis less than 1 cm in length erect?
That's THIS long: ____ (yes I held a ruler up to my screen)
WHAT THE FUCK MATE
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-08 09:23:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2006-05-07 23:30:55 (#)
Ranking: -2
Gayest title ever. Stop everything, we have a weener.
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ur so funny lol!!!
Submitted by supadupapupa (user info) at 2006-05-08 01:13:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It was informative and interesting, sometimes a little gross as I imagined the details.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-05-07 23:40:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-06 12:49:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
There is a condition called hypoplasia, where the body of the penis is absent and the head is attached to the pubis.
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Pubis - best word ever. Thank you Caulaincourt, for your botched English!
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Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-06 12:46:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-05-06 12:27:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2006-05-06 12:15:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to know about tightness of the female organ damnit. How deep and tight an asian is compared to a negress or something.
====
i second this.
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I'm not sure how you can measure tightness, what scale you could use. I would think tightness is the same for all races, it's just after a lot of penetration it loosens up.
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Errrr...pubis isn't botched English. It really is a word, and properly used.
Women are like screen doors: The more you bang 'em the looser they get.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-05-07 23:31:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
< )
( \
X
8====D
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2006-05-07 23:30:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Gayest title ever. Stop everything, we have a weener.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-07 23:15:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-05-07 20:49:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-06 23:48:01 (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.tigerpumping.com/images/female/pumper9x9/ator8_womancock_meets_mancock.jpg
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---
I clicked on them all.
Every.
Single.
One...
I'm going to go nail rusty nails into my eyes now thanks.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-07 20:33:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I would think that would probably mean that she watches too much porn.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-07 20:33:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-05-07 10:38:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
I once met a girl who thought 9 inches was on the low end, and was shocked that they made them as small as me :'(/
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My girlfriend thought that 7 inches is average. I should show her these fun facts anyway.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-05-07 10:40:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wooot!
I mean weet.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-05-07 10:38:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I once met a girl who thought 9 inches was on the low end, and was shocked that they made them as small as me :'(/
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-05-07 10:30:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Everything you ever wanted to know about darko
User id: 10774
Registered on or around: 2004-07-30 05:11:11
# Messages posted: 120
# Reviews written: 6438
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 3013
# Hits: 99999
Average rating of all messages: 1.30
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-05-07 08:03:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-06 23:55:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BrownEyedGirrl (user info) at 2006-05-06 21:22:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
There are records of penises that do not exceed 1 cm in full erection, known as Micropenis.
============================================
I was unfortunate enough to meet one of these.....
I actually experienced an "is it in yet??" moment!!!
Oh Jeremiah... you poor fuck!!!
when you asked me how you were...
and i said "great"!!
I lied!!
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Can't even imagine that.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-06 23:48:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.tigerpumping.com/images/female/pumper9x9/ator8_womancock_meets_mancock.jpg
http://www.totallycrap.com/media/theperfectpenis/
http://www.vore.net/MrYum/human-eating-female-s.mpg
http://hjem.get2net.dk/taste/nasty/others/txt/ggsexdog.htm
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http://www.portalastur.com/lallala.jpg
http://home.austin.rr.com/noire/typicalmacintoshuser.jpg
http://img229.echo.cx/img229/6431/138yr.jpg
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http://www.goatse.org/mirror
http://www.lemonparty.com
http://www.tubgirl.com
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http://www.phreak.org/ana/skinny
http://www.faggotry.com
http://www.smoke.rotten.com/bird
http://www.cadaver.org/head-th.jpg
http://www.students.washington.edu/geombear/forums/!beecock.jpg
http://www.geocities.com/bold_leadership_4_a_better_world
http://www.biggernigger.com
http://www.bagslap.com
http://www.meatspin.com
Submitted by Magic_Monkey (user info) at 2006-05-06 23:18:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2006-05-06 12:15:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
Supposedly I'm too big for my Japanese girlfriend... which i'm not sure is a good or bad thing.
Personally i think this topic is overdone. I want to know about tightness of the female organ damnit. How deep and tight an asian is compared to a negress or something.
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it's annoying to just hug her and be scared to hurt her eh ? They are so fucking small !
Submitted by BrownEyedGirrl (user info) at 2006-05-06 21:22:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There are records of penises that do not exceed 1 cm in full erection, known as Micropenis.
============================================
I was unfortunate enough to meet one of these.....
I actually experienced an "is it in yet??" moment!!!
Oh Jeremiah... you poor fuck!!!
when you asked me how you were...
and i said "great"!!
I lied!!
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2006-05-06 20:15:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2006-05-06 20:14:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for enlightenment.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-05-06 19:46:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just read the whole lot and all I can say is good fucking grief
Submitted by gravitas (user info) at 2006-05-06 19:38:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-06 12:46:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-05-06 12:27:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2006-05-06 12:15:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to know about tightness of the female organ damnit. How deep and tight an asian is compared to a negress or something.
====
i second this.
-----
I'm not sure how you can measure tightness, what scale you could use. I would think tightness is the same for all races, it's just after a lot of penetration it loosens up.
___________________________________________
you could insert an object of given size and measure the pressure (psi or Pa) on the surface...
yeah, i'm an engineer...
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-05-06 18:26:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-05-06 12:19:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.totallycrap.com/media/theperfectpenis/
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W T F????!?!?!!??
That guy is a fucking idiot.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-05-06 17:55:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, it was interesting.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-05-06 17:51:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
alright.
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-05-06 17:13:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what shitfuck said
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-05-06 15:37:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking sweet.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-06 14:27:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-05-06 14:07:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
I read it all and was entertained.
Thanks, son.
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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-05-06 14:07:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I read it all and was entertained.
Thanks, son.
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-05-06 13:54:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-05-06 12:19:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.totallycrap.com/media/theperfectpenis/
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jesus.
fucking.
christ.
[+1 Made me cry]
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-05-06 13:48:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
WHO THE FUCK IS GOING AROUND MEASURING PENII??
...and why they gotta record mine as micropenis?
*off to remeasure penis for 1,383,090th time*
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-06 12:49:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There is a condition called hypoplasia, where the body of the penis is absent and the head is attached to the pubis.
-----
Pubis - best word ever. Thank you Caulaincourt, for your botched English!
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-06 12:46:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-05-06 12:27:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2006-05-06 12:15:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to know about tightness of the female organ damnit. How deep and tight an asian is compared to a negress or something.
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i second this.
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I'm not sure how you can measure tightness, what scale you could use. I would think tightness is the same for all races, it's just after a lot of penetration it loosens up.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-06 12:46:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-05-06 12:19:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.totallycrap.com/media/theperfectpenis/
Horrific.
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Perfect penis? It looks like two massive tumours growing out of his crotch.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-06 12:45:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-05-06 11:51:16 (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.tigerpumping.com/images/female/pumper9x9/ator8_womancock_meets_mancock.jpg
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Thanks PFF! I can always count on you to link pictures of goatse, or women sticking telephones up their ass, or other such perversion.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-05-06 12:27:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2006-05-06 12:15:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to know about tightness of the female organ damnit. How deep and tight an asian is compared to a negress or something.
====
i second this.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-05-06 12:21:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fuck les paul, '61 SG, either that or I end up buying an australian made one, so find one and do all the currency and language conversions, since you can look up and understand japanese webpages and I can't
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-05-06 12:20:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Prof. you should do me a favor and fuck my cock off with your awesome fuckface!
I love you.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-05-06 12:19:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.totallycrap.com/media/theperfectpenis/
Horrific.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-05-06 12:19:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-05-06 11:51:16 (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.tigerpumping.com/images/female/pumper9x9/ator8_womancock_meets_mancock.jpg
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For the sake of my sanity, I'm going to say that was photoshopped.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-05-06 12:19:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
williamson you should do me a favour and go find me a price on an orville by gibson les paul, a '61 reissue made in the late 70s if possible
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-05-06 12:19:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool!
http://www.tigerpumping.com/images/female/pumper9x9/ator8_womancock_meets_mancock.jpg
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2006-05-06 12:17:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Cool!
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2006-05-06 12:15:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Supposedly I'm too big for my Japanese girlfriend... which i'm not sure is a good or bad thing.
Personally i think this topic is overdone. I want to know about tightness of the female organ damnit. How deep and tight an asian is compared to a negress or something.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-05-06 11:57:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-05-06 11:57:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AWESOMEST THING OF ALL TIME EVER FOREVER IN A WORLD TIMES INFINITY YEAH!
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-05-06 11:51:16 (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.tigerpumping.com/images/female/pumper9x9/ator8_womancock_meets_mancock.jpg
Submitted by Paddles (user info) at 2006-05-06 11:55:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-05-06 11:51:16 (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.tigerpumping.com/images/female/pumper9x9/ator8_womancock_meets_mancock.jpg
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Thanks, asshole. I have to throw up now.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-05-06 11:51:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.tigerpumping.com/images/female/pumper9x9/ator8_womancock_meets_mancock.jpg
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-05-06 11:50:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Christ I'll finish this later, balls bigger then your head. Nasty shit I didn't need to know.
Submitted by Paddles (user info) at 2006-05-06 11:48:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn.
Those be some HUGE tits.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-06 11:43:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Around the house, I never lift a finger
As a husband and father I'm sub-par
I'd rather drink a beer
than win Father of the Year
I'm happy with things the way they are
-- Homer Simpson
Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(annoyed grunt)ocious