Turding At Work (466 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by -=<Psycosis>=- psycosis053.at.gmail.com (View user info) at 2006-05-08 02:16:08 EDT
The clock reads 10 minutes to Eleven, I silence the music booming from my PC, all of my efforts are now being put into blocking out all of the office sounds surrounding me. Then I hear it, then again, again, and again, then nothing. Now is my time to strike. With soft steps I head towards my destination, constantly assessing my surroundings, ensuring that I'm not being followed or intercepted. I make it, unnoticed, and with a sigh of relief I close and lock the door behind me.
Not 10 seconds later, I hear the sound again, it's the sound of a door closing, the look upon my face turns to anger. "Why can't I just sit here in peace, just this once?" I think to myself.
Things are about to get worse however; the offending culprit has decided to take the cubicle next to mine. I sit in silence struggling to understand what this useless fuck is thinking, in a row of empty cubicles, why choose the one next to the one I'm using.
A thought now enters my mind "What if we both walk out of our cubicles at the same time, that will be weird and awkward, and we'll both have to do that weird hello thing". "Fuck it!" I think, and with an almighty squeeze I do my business, clean up, and make for the door.
On the way out, I feel relieved knowing that the guy in the next cubicle wont be walking out at the same time as me, relieved that he'll have no idea that it was me that produced that awful stench and stained ceramic, relieved that I could go back about my day. That relief is short felt, I hear the sound again, just in front of me the main toilet door opens, someone walks in and greets me with a "Hi Psy, how are you". Fuck! So much for anonymity.
This is my daily ritual.
User Reviews
Submitted by Psycosis (user info) at 2006-05-08 19:32:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-05-08 07:22:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
I've done this already...a bunch of times and better.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/82659
http://www.ubersite.com/m/82196
http://www.ubersite.com/m/84593
http://www.ubersite.com/m/86806
And many more...
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Personally, I don't find turds fascinating enough to post about more than once.
What ever floats your boat though, man.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-05-08 08:20:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Since when has Uber become Poopreport?
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-05-08 07:22:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've done this already...a bunch of times and better.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/82659
http://www.ubersite.com/m/82196
http://www.ubersite.com/m/84593
http://www.ubersite.com/m/86806
And many more...
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-05-08 03:22:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hell, I laughed. Then again, I'm probably the most immature person you have ever met, so take it for what it's worth.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-05-08 02:54:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Started somewhat funny.
Fucking BOMBED from there.
But the writing is decent.
Submitted by ScottPeterson (user info) at 2006-05-08 02:48:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I clogged so many toilets at work my DNA was put on a watch list.