One gram or two Part 7 nearing the end (538 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Gram
Rating: 0.68 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Beano (View user info) at 2006-05-08 04:10:25 EDT
Part I http://www.ubersite.com/m/86292
Part II http://www.ubersite.com/m/86380
Part III http://www.ubersite.com/m/86501
Part 4 http://www.ubersite.com/m/86859
Part 5 http://www.ubersite.com/m/87134
Part 6 http://www.ubersite.com/m/87512
Scott had time to think as the car journey towards its presumably deserted location. Was this what he wanted from life? If he continued with this evening there would be no going back. This was that fictional junction in a person's life where you got to choose which door you went through. This was the pivotal point. You read about this shit, you learnt it at school, you were told about it but no one really has a point in their life when they know that they are right there on the cusp, do they?
Scott was right there and he knew it, so far he'd dealt some coke, big fucking deal. He's certainly been breaking the law but he'd never been caught and he could walk away now, unharmed and no record. But of course if he did it wasn't that simple, it'd mean moving house, only a town or two away but you couldn't just stop you had to get out of the area.
There were two reasons for this, one was that there would always be the phone calls or people approaching him in pubs asking for a deal, or friends wanting some, or money to be made. The temptation to get back involved was how he got started in the first place! And two of course, Scott knew all the main players, he knew all about Chuck and the Dog and pretty much all the dealers. They wouldn't want him knowing what he knew and not being involved. That was their get out of jail free card.
It would be easier and safer all round to move town.
Door 1 and he would look forward to a life of crime, jail, beatings given and beatings received, risk, money, looking over his shoulder, respect and whores.
Door 2 and it'd be a nine to five like the masses that he so desperately despised, 4 weeks holiday a year, savings accounts and four door cars, kids and gardens.
Fuck.
It would be considered by some to be somewhat too late to be thinking about this. The fact of the matter was Scott had been thinking about it since he was lying in his hospital bed those few short weeks ago. But it was hard, how do you just walk away from what you like and enjoy, from what gives you a high and not least makes you wealthy?
But then also the fact of the matter was Scott had just witness a most brutal case of Grievous Bodily Hard and was now in the back of a stolen car and about to butcher a young man. Correction, a young lad, who had a brother, this much they knew about him and no doubt he still had at least a Mum or a Dad, if he didn't still have both. And they were taking him away, cold bloodily; they would lift the lid on the boot where the Dog would fire as many rounds into his torso as it would take to kill him. A shiver skated down the length of Scott's spine.
It became quite apparent that they were heading to the Northwood industrial estate on the edge of town. This was the oldest estate around this area and wasn't subject to the constant monitoring of security cameras and white van security guards like the modern industrial estates.
The fact of the matter was that the sort of people who owned these premises didn't need high tech mini camera's that didn't even capture useable images of the perpetrator but merely acted as deterrents.
The sort of people who owned these units were the deterrents.
As they approached the final half mile Scott really started to worry, he glanced across at Dean and got a silent and almost indistinguishable nod. Everything will be OK mate, it said.
How can he be so cool Scott thought to himself? Has he really detached himself that much from reality that this has become acceptable behaviour?
This wasn't scrumping for apples like they used to when they were boys; this wasn't nicking adult magazines every time the shop keeper reached up to get their half of Cola Cubes. It wasn't fighting gangs from other schools in the underpass at the top of Westward Way on summer evenings and it wasn't fucking pinching shitty bashed up Ford Cortinas and Fiestas from the college car park.
He felt like grabbing Dean and screaming that this was about to become the most serious single act that either of them had been involved in together or separately for that matter. This was due some serious consideration, a sit down and a chat, a few pints and maybe some third party advice. A bit like they used to when they were kids. If either one of them had reservations or doubts, they moved on and scrumped in a different garden, and later, nicked different cars, it just wasn't worth the risk.
The car pulled into the estate proper and headed slowly towards some units deep at the end of the road, now that the car had reduced speed they could hear the knocking noise coming from the rear end. The poor bastard had regained consciousness and must have really been suffering. He seemed to be making an awful lot of noise for someone with such severe injuries. It was either desperation because he knew his fate or the noise wasn't really as loud as it sounded but more that each of them was acutely aware of his distress.
The car came to a halt and its doors were flown open, one by one they exited it and grouped around the boot. Till this point not a word had been spoken, not since they locked him in the boot and jumped in the car. They all seemed to be submersed in their own selves, fighting with their own demons, or relishing what was to come and what this was going to make them.
The Dog looked excited, like this was the event he had been leading up to all of his life.
Dean looked impassive, almost like he was at show of some kind, neither interested nor excited. It was like he was watching something but didn't really know why he was there.
Scott, edged slightly back from the group. He looked scared and he had every reason to.
User Reviews
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-07-26 12:19:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Dear Beano
I was very very hurt indeed that you -2 bombed my posts. So hurt that I cut myself. That's right. You made me cut myself. That's how upset I was.
The only way to make myself feel better was Minus Twoing all of your posts.
The pain is gone now.
I am reborn.
Submitted by maf54 (user info) at 2008-05-14 05:07:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just to counter what that idiot Director did to you.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-05-13 17:48:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by konohasaiyajin (user info) at 2006-06-23 19:32:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not as good as the others, but still going strong. More storyline than action which keeps the other stories more interesting.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-05-17 03:26:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-05-08 16:48:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I do like this story, but the continuity jumps around a LOT, from chapter to chapter -I'd make the narrative flow stronger, so that I would be compelled to read the next one.
These all read fine standing alone, but you want to string them altogther, so there is a common arc of plot.
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2006-05-08 12:19:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-05-08 11:22:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OK, next part is written. It's longer and more gruesome you blood thirtsy bastards.
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-05-08 09:13:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This seemed like a meh kind of filler.
Less talk more rock.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-05-08 07:50:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I know people tend to 'WTF i'm not reading all that' if you make them too long. But advice taken on board. Cheers.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-05-08 06:25:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-05-08 06:25:21 (#)
Ranking: 2
Dammit man make them longer! Good though. Not as good as the others, but good. 1.5 :)
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-05-08 06:25:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dammit man make them longer! Good though. Not as good as the others, but good. 1.5 :)