Leroy and the alligator (274 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -1.25 on 4 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Thought_Provoker (View user info) at 2006-05-09 09:15:57 EDT
The other week I threw a party and invited all of my buddies and neighbors, including Leroy, the only black guy in the neighborhood. I had not ever personally spoken to Leroy, but i wanted to invite him in so i did'nt seem racist..... maybe that is racist.... but i do try.
I held the party around the pool in the backyard of my lovely.... errr.... mansion. Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating BBQ and flirting with the women.
At the height of the party, i raised an issue which i somehow had to rectify, i told the gathering: "I came home from a business trip and I found a 10 foot alligator got in my pool and I can't find anybody who will come and take him away. I'd give a million dollars to anyone who would do the job!"
The words were barely out of my mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool! I couldn't believe it, this man who was relativly unknown to all, due to his color, was saving my ass! Fuck it if any of these thought i was getting in there!!
Anyway, I looked down and saw Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking its ass! He was jabbing it in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and chokeholds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping it through the air like some kind of Kung-Fu master. The water was churning and splashing in the struggle, and the pool filled with the alligators claret. Finally Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to the surface. He slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was staring in disbelief. Especially me, i felt quite low at this point for only inviting Leroy so it didn't seem like i wasn't inviting him because he was black..... Something like that.... However i was truely proud that my friends had been so welcoming to him, we got on fine, and they seemed in awe over Leroys Steve Irwin-like skills.
Finally i must address Leroy, i turn to him: "Leroy, I reckon I owe you a million dollars."
"I don't want it," said Leroy, panting. I didn't know what to say, this man had just willingly risked life and limb for $1mill, and now he doesn't want it??? I had to give him something, i turned to him: "Leroy, I have to give you something! You won the bet."
And to that Leroy simply said, "I would be satisfied if you gave me the name of whichever one of these white motherf**kers it was that pushed me in the pool."
Nothing like mixing friends eh?
User Reviews
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-05-09 10:23:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for posting more than once a day
-2 for being a dumb cocksucking jew bag
-2 for enineering impossibility(every knows that black people can't swim)
-2 for telling some stupid fucking joke
-2 for everything you ever did
-2 for sucking so bad at this site
-2 for every post you ever did
Should I continue...?
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-05-09 09:22:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
That was awesome, where did you find the steve irwin picture?
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-05-09 09:20:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
bad bad leroy brown baddest man in the whole damned town.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-05-09 09:17:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You don't provoke thought so much as suck shit.