What a WHORE (3249 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: -1.54 on 51 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JoKeR (View user info) at 2006-05-10 04:45:21 EDT
Now, me and my girlfriend 'Sarah' were old sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school, were both virgins at the point of meeting; and we enjoyed losing our virginity with each other in 10th grade.
When we finally graduated, we origianally both wanted to go to the same college, but Sarah was accepted to a college on the east coast, and the I ended up going to the west coast, as I was unfortunatly rejected by hers. We agreed to be faithful to each other and spend anytime that we could together, as the way I saw it we were both very much in love.
As time went on, I would call Sarah but she would never be home, and when I wrote, she would take weeks to return the letters. Even when I had e-mailed her, she took days to return my messages. Finally, she confessed to me that she wanted to date around, whore.
Being honest i was acting a wimp, and didn't take this very well. I increased my calls, letters, and emails trying to win back her love.
Because she became annoyed, and now had a new boyfriend, she wanted to get me off her back. So, what the bitch did was this:
she took a polaroid picture of her sucking her new boyfriend's unmentionables and sent it to my address with a note reading, "I found a new boyfriend, leave me alone."
Bitch. No one deserves to have that, i just don't understand why some girls get a thrill from that shit.... I had to come off better....
Well, needless to say, that i was in-fact very heartbroken but, even more so, I was fucked off. So, what I did next was awesome, and spur of the moment with rage.
I got a pen and wrote on the back of the photo she sent me the following, "Dear Mom and Dad, having a great time at college, please send more money! Love Sarah xxx" and mailed the picture to her parents.
Hahaha custard pie slut.
User Reviews
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-08-03 04:56:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by NewGuy08 (user info) at 2008-08-03 04:37:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-12-01 19:55:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
lame.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-12-01 19:46:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for vengeance. i hope you really did it
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2006-12-01 19:27:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-05-10 20:18:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You think we've never heard this joke before? Shame on you...
Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2006-05-10 20:07:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SidewinderGunnar (user info) at 2006-05-10 13:04:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, that is some funny shit. Yeah that definitley sounds like a real slut to me. Thanks for makeing me lauph so hard.
=========================
At least try to disguise your shitty self +2ing alter.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-05-10 17:55:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
She's not a whore...she's a fucking genius for dumping your dumbass, dipshit.
Shlongy's a whore, and a very successful one, I might add.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-05-10 17:46:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It really saddens me how much attention this piece of shit gets... Ah well, good job getting attention, just it's still a shitty post.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-05-10 15:52:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-05-10 11:16:15 (#)
Ranking: -2
nice stolen email forward.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-05-10 13:49:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
new title:
"Why My Ex-Girlfriend Sliced My Peener Off"
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-05-10 13:11:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
BOOOOO!
I thought this was going to be about Tigerlily.
Submitted by SidewinderGunnar (user info) at 2006-05-10 13:04:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, that is some funny shit. Yeah that definitley sounds like a real slut to me. Thanks for makeing me lauph so hard.
Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2006-05-10 12:39:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
M is for the many posts you gave us...
I is for idiotic drivel...
N is for no worthwhile content...
U is for your unrelen-ting gay-ness...
S is for the shit you spew here...
2 is the number of lifetimes you should spend in hell...for each...of your PO-OSTS!
DIE!
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-05-10 12:23:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by BrownEyedGirrl (user info) at 2006-05-10 12:13:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I got a pen and wrote on the back of the photo she sent me the following, "Dear Mom and Dad, having a great time at college, please send more money! Love Sarah xxx" and mailed the picture to her parents.
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2006-05-10 12:09:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Nice bitmap, douche-nozzle.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-05-10 11:16:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
nice stolen email forward.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-05-10 11:02:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Still a user? Just checking.
This message brought to you by all the people that hate you:
Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die You fucking suck clown ass Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die Die
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-05-10 10:32:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
keep changing your name, same result.
i will be fucking your mom without the aid of lube, instead i'll break her nose and use the spurting blood instead.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-05-10 10:08:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Now that I read it (for the 237591978491872349812346298734th time!), I realize not only are you talentless, you desrve death for forwarding us this email.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-05-10 10:06:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ASlmost forgot.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-05-10 10:06:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You know, I really hate you. Not just hate you like I shake my fist in the air cursing your name. I hate you like coming to your house and slowly cutting off your face with a razor, then I'd wear your face while I rape a priest and kill a family, then go back to your house and sew your face back on, then call the police and clap with glee while you get convicted and ass raped for the rest of your life.
THAT'S how much I hate you.
I don't care how many times you change your name, you're still a waste of fucking life!
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-05-10 09:51:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Well, you get points for persistence...
...just not on your rating.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2006-05-10 09:49:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
www.myspace.com
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2006-05-10 09:30:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-05-10 09:28:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I like the O.C. too
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-05-10 09:21:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
1) You fell in "love"
2) You went off to college and..gasp..IT DIDN'T WORK OUT WITH YOUR HIGHSCHOOL SWEETHEART?
3) She tried to break up with you
4) You wouldn't accept this and stalked her, then sent porn to her parents as revenge.
5) You sound like you need more professional help than she does.
WINNAR!
OMG we should totally date.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-05-10 09:09:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
CALL THE WAAAAAAAAHMBULANCE!!!!
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-10 07:55:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-05-10 07:50:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-05-10 07:34:03 (#)
Ranking: -1
I'm calling shenanigans; you sound like to big of a pussy to do that.
________________________
Awesome call shenanigansDOODLES!
Was it the fact that it is one of the oldest jokes on the internet?
The fact that the author has never written an even remotely serious post?
Maybe no-one called it because it is so FREAKING obvious. Is this gonna be like the time you took credit for "uncovering" my "alter" weeks after everyone else had?
" "
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-05-10 07:49:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Better title: "What a pathetic loser"
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-05-10 07:40:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, -2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-05-10 07:35:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry, that was meant to be a -2
I'll just be going now.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-05-10 07:34:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I'm calling shenanigans; you sound like to big of a pussy to do that.
Submitted by The_Underdog (user info) at 2006-05-10 07:27:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-05-10 07:23:12 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2006-05-10 07:14:50 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-05-09 10:23:40 (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for posting more than once a day
-2 for being a dumb cocksucking jew bag
-2 for enineering impossibility(every knows that black people can't swim)
-2 for telling some stupid fucking joke
-2 for everything you ever did
-2 for sucking so bad at this site
-2 for every post you ever did
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Changing your name didn't help either.
-----------------
yeah you fucking prick
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-05-10 07:23:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2006-05-10 07:14:50 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-05-09 10:23:40 (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for posting more than once a day
-2 for being a dumb cocksucking jew bag
-2 for enineering impossibility(every knows that black people can't swim)
-2 for telling some stupid fucking joke
-2 for everything you ever did
-2 for sucking so bad at this site
-2 for every post you ever did
----------
Changing your name didn't help either.
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2006-05-10 07:14:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-05-09 10:23:40 (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for posting more than once a day
-2 for being a dumb cocksucking jew bag
-2 for enineering impossibility(every knows that black people can't swim)
-2 for telling some stupid fucking joke
-2 for everything you ever did
-2 for sucking so bad at this site
-2 for every post you ever did
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2006-05-10 07:13:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-05-10 06:38:01 (#)
Ranking: -2
Gonna post seven times again today you fuckwit?
-----
Just get banned for it please.
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2006-05-10 06:47:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Old.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-05-10 06:38:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Gonna post seven times again today you fuckwit?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-05-10 06:01:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
In the words of Carlos Mencia:
DUR DURDUR!!!
Submitted by The_Underdog (user info) at 2006-05-10 05:43:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-05-10 05:32:33 (#)
Ranking: -2
I just dont believ half the horseshit i read
---------------------------------------------
Yeah....... and i really have a black mate called leroy who wrestles alligators in swimming pools, can't people just imagine a situation and laugh about it these days? you don't know me, it could have happened somewhere so just, you know.
p.s sorry for lying i am ashamed.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-05-10 05:32:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I just dont believ half the horseshit i read
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-05-10 05:21:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Well, needless to say, you both suck.
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2006-05-10 05:17:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow. At least Hitler won't be lonely in the afterlive when you get there, you evil, evil boy
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-05-10 05:14:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Anger is for pussies. Real men feel nothing.
Submitted by The_Underdog (user info) at 2006-05-10 04:57:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-05-10 04:48:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
I totally believe you DUDE.
YOu should send Leroy round on her ass
--------------------------------------
Leroy would kick the cunt out of that bitch
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-05-10 04:50:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yeah. You sure told her.
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-05-10 04:48:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I totally believe you DUDE.
YOu should send Leroy round on her ass
Submitted by The_Underdog (user info) at 2006-05-10 04:45:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
oooh i give myself -1 for mistake with picture.... fucker!