Cats suck. (1366 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.44 on 41 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by http://jayrulzz.livejournal.com (View user info) at 2006-05-11 05:16:16 EDT
What the hell is the point of owning a cat? They don't even do anything. If I wanted to live with an animal that just sleeps and licks itself all day I'd find a roommate at the welfare office. One could argue that they make good company, but so do dogs, and at least a dog will fetch you the paper. When you come home after a long day, the dog will be there at the door waiting to greet you and bring you your slippers like a little, furry, four-legged, midget butler. A cat, on the other hand, will be sitting in a corner either sleeping or plotting your death. You can train a dog to do pretty much anything. What the hell will a cat do for you? Ooh, look, it brought me a dead mouse. Just what I always wanted. I bet you stole it from an owl, you cheap bastard. Cats are just more trouble than they're worth. You feed them and give them a home, and they shit in a box for you to clean up. Then when the neighbour's kids are trying to set it on fire it comes running to the door for you to let it in. Yeah right, you furry spawn of Satan. Why don't you just pretend the kids are my furniture. You seem to have no trouble tearing that to shreds. Kinda makes me want to move to China.
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More at http://jayrulzz.livejournal.com
User Reviews
Submitted by FilledwithHate (user info) at 2008-07-10 20:25:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HateYou.HateYou.HateYou.HateYou.
HateYou.HateYou.HateYou.HateYou.
HateYou.HateYou.HateYou.HateYou.
HateYou.HateYou.HateYou.HateYou.
HateYou.HateYou.HateYou.HateYou.
HateYou.HateYou.HateYou.HateYou.
HateYou.HateYou.HateYou.HateYou.
HateYou.HateYou.HateYou.HateYou.
HateYou.HateYou.HateYou.HateYou.
HateYou.HateYou.HateYou.HateYou.
HateYou.HateYou.HateYou.HateYou.
Submitted by JeffyJeff (user info) at 2008-07-10 19:47:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thank you, good sir. I share your hatred of small, worthless, demonic beasts who all deserve to be destroyed.
And to all those who bashed dogs, here is a list of things dogs are good for:
Sniffing out land mines, finding drugs and weapons on criminals, finding people who've gotten lost, are trapped under snow after an avalanche, or stuck under rubble after a building has collapsed, helping the blind, protecting homes, and entertaining people with tricks. I know I've forgotten something.
And a list of things cats are useful for:
.............
One dog is worth more than every cat that is alive, was alive, and will some day be alive put together and multiplied by a thousand.
Submitted by Happily_Agnostic (user info) at 2006-05-13 06:25:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh yeah because dogs are so much better? Fucking flea-infested retards that bark all night and wake you up?
At least cats bury their shit.
Submitted by pragmatic (user info) at 2006-05-11 19:39:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Almost accidentally +2'ed
If you're going to rant, do it properly. Longer, more content, better arguments, paragraphs.
Submitted by gonefiguring (user info) at 2006-05-11 19:33:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Using the standard scale: based on this post, you cannot be more fucking moronic. I'd give you instructions on how to suffocate, but I honestly think you'd misunderstand them.
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-05-11 19:08:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What the hell is the point of owning a Torch? They don't even do anything. If I wanted to live with an animal that just sleeps and licks itself all day I'd find a roommate at the welfare office. One could argue that they make good company, but so do dogs, and at least a dog will fetch you the paper.
When you come home after a long day, the dog will be there at the door waiting to greet you and bring you your slippers like a little, furry, four-legged, midget butler. A Torch, on the other hand, will be sitting in a corner either sleeping or plotting your death.
You can train a dog to do pretty much anything. What the hell will a Torch do for you? Ooh, look, it brought me a dead mouse. Just what I always wanted. I bet you stole it from an owl, you cheap bastard. Torchs are just more trouble than they're worth.
You feed them and give them a home, and they shit in a box for you to clean up. Then when the neighbour's kids are trying to set it on fire it comes running to the door for you to let it in. Yeah right, you furry spawn of Satan. Why don't you just pretend the kids are my furniture. You seem to have no trouble tearing that to shreds. Kinda makes me want to move to China.
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More at http://jayrulzz.livejournal.com
Submitted by hungovermondays (user info) at 2006-05-11 19:07:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I like cats, but this was kinda funny
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-05-11 19:04:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What else have you got to rant about, oh holder of petty gripes? Traffic lights? Long lines at the supermarket? Those little postcard things you find in magazines? Thank god for myspace and all the other crappy weblogs that convince people they're actually worth listening to, because I don't know what we did before people like you.
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-05-11 18:57:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Torch (user info) at 2006-05-11 18:43:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
So because I stuck the link in there, thereby providing MORE content it gets a lower rating? Nice logic, smart guy.
____________________________________
The fact that we are subjected to MORE content is the why you are getting such a shit rating.
and because you suck
and because maddox did it all before and better
and because you suck
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-05-11 18:56:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Torch (user info) at 2006-05-11 18:43:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
So because I stuck the link in there, thereby providing MORE content it gets a lower rating? Nice logic, smart guy.
______________________
fuck off asswipe for once I agree with jonny x
EAT A DICK TORCH
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-05-11 18:56:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This hurt like sticking my testicles in a sandwich toaster hurts
Submitted by Torch (user info) at 2006-05-11 18:43:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So because I stuck the link in there, thereby providing MORE content it gets a lower rating? Nice logic, smart guy.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-05-11 17:09:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
WOULDA BEEN A +2 EXCEPT FOR THE LIVEJOURNAL COMMERICAL
Submitted by Torch (user info) at 2006-05-11 17:04:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, you guys are stupid. Why do you keep mentioning dogs? I barely said anything about dogs, and the point wasn't to compare the two. The title is simply "Cats Suck", not "Dogs Are Better Than Cats". You see, the whole point of a title is to give a hint as to what the material with said title is about. You probably shouldn't have dropped out of school, really.
Also, bite me. If I had posted a website with the exact same content that wasn't hosted by livejournal no one would have bitched. Get your heads out of your asses. Just because it says "livejournal" doesn't mean it's an actual journal. I simply use livejournal because I have better things to do than start an actual website.
Okay, resume flaming.
Submitted by greEn_uGly (user info) at 2006-05-11 14:16:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
dogs smell bad....
Submitted by marginwalker (user info) at 2006-05-11 13:22:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Often dogs appeal to feebs so lacking in affection they need to be drooled on to feel loved.
Or -
They just have a really small fucking penis.
Which is it?
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-05-11 13:08:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Cats don't hump guest's legs. They also don't shit in your yard and demand to be walked daily, nor do you ever hear of them attacking passerby. They are even self-sufficient as we see in your example of the dead mouse.
Submitted by sl4tt3ry (user info) at 2006-05-11 12:09:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow, you've managed to completely disgust me.
Submitted by LT (user info) at 2006-05-11 10:34:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I hate cats, but you only have one argument?
What about words with "cat" in them? Eh? You didn't bring up "catastrophe", nor did you mention the incredibly freakish way that a cat can sit down on top of all its limbs and look like one large ball of hair, all the while demonically plotting your doom.
You didn't mention any of this, yet still managed to mention your own live diary.
Tossbag.
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2006-05-11 10:14:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-05-11 09:54:06 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-05-11 09:45:42 (#)
Ranking: -2
This post sucks so hard that I had it on my screen, walked away to get some coffee, and when I got back everything on my desk was stuck to my monitor.
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Bwahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by gonefiguring (user info) at 2006-05-11 10:12:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-05-11 09:45:42 (#)
Ranking: -2
This post sucks so hard that I had it on my screen, walked away to get some coffee, and when I got back everything on my desk was stuck to my monitor.
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Best review EVAR!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-05-11 10:10:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
thought-provoking and original
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-05-11 10:06:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-05-11 09:45:42 (#)
Ranking: -2
This post sucks so hard that I had it on my screen, walked away to get some coffee, and when I got back everything on my desk was stuck to my monitor.
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sometimes it wort revisiting a really shit post just for the reviews, especially these sort of reviews.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-05-11 09:54:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-05-11 09:45:42 (#)
Ranking: -2
This post sucks so hard that I had it on my screen, walked away to get some coffee, and when I got back everything on my desk was stuck to my monitor.
___________________________________________________________
Bwahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-05-11 09:45:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This post sucks so hard that I had it on my screen, walked away to get some coffee, and when I got back everything on my desk was stuck to my monitor.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-05-11 09:17:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
funny, today i was going to do a post about how dogs are infinitely better than cats. But it wasn't going to suck this bad, nor was it going to have a link to my freaking LIVE JOURNAL!!!1
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-05-11 09:13:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Cats are cool. Dogs are cool.
People lie, cheat, steal, and make fun of you simply because of how you look.
Dogs fart? Imagine that! People do too, and they smell much worse than dogs.
Matter of fact, most people's breath is worse than a dog fart. Dogs and cats
love you unconditionally.
The animals don't judge, don't care how you look, don't want your money,
and won't fuck you over just for fun. Can you say the same about yourself?
I didn't think so. . .
In conclusion, blow me, asshole.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-11 08:57:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
+2s are bad, -2s are good, remember. The point is to have the lowest score.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-05-11 07:42:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You know what else sucks?
Your live journal.
OH SNAP!
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-05-11 07:42:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
So you arguments against cats are bog standard off the shelf 'cats do nothing but dogs fetch your slippers'.
Not original, not funny, not thought provoking.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-05-11 07:09:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
After reading this, I am now a firm believer in post-birth abortion.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-05-11 07:04:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
YAY! A live journal link!
Fuck you.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-05-11 06:45:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I hate you. I hate you. I hate cats, but i hate you so much more. I hate you. God dammit i hate you so fucking much. Did you even look at uber before posting? Most of these love monkeys love cats (even though dogs are way better).
Finally If you ever put that half assed desperatly wanting to be philisophical(but only proving the suburban quality of your mediocre thoughts) bullshit link again i will repeatedly -2 ur stuff.
BTW welcome to uber :)
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-05-11 06:40:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
are these your shoes?
BLARRFFF!!!
Who loves kitty?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-05-11 06:31:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What the fuck is a Chicken & Bacon Club Torpedo?
It looks like a sandwich - but could be a weapon
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-05-11 06:29:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-05-11 06:11:48 (#)
Ranking: -1
The point in owning a cat is that they're better pets than dogs.
Cats clean themselves by licking their fur. They leave their waste in a single convenient place that's nowhere near their food. They are self-sufficient and independent. If you have a cat in your house, the cat wants to be there. You can go on a week's vacation by simply leaving them a couple fresh litterboxes, an open bag of food, and an open toilet lid (No blue water, though. Blue water bad for kitty.) They can chase and catch nuisance rodents, saving you the trouble of buying and emptying traps or repairing the damage the rodents cause. Cats purr.
Dogs are disgusting. They will shit and piss anywhere, even right next to the food bowl. They are capable of cleaning themselves by licking but choose to only lick their anuses and genitalia, so they smell horrid in a short time. Dogs require constant attention. They need to be led and told what to do. They chase prey that they wouldn't have a clue what to do with once it's caught, like cars. Dogs drink antifreeze. Dogs fart.
Cats are better than dogs.
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its true, my dog farts. mostly when she's asleep and dreaming, she's convulsing and farting.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-05-11 06:27:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm going to firebomb your house.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-05-11 06:11:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
The point in owning a cat is that they're better pets than dogs.
Cats clean themselves by licking their fur. They leave their waste in a single convenient place that's nowhere near their food. They are self-sufficient and independent. If you have a cat in your house, the cat wants to be there. You can go on a week's vacation by simply leaving them a couple fresh litterboxes, an open bag of food, and an open toilet lid (No blue water, though. Blue water bad for kitty.) They can chase and catch nuisance rodents, saving you the trouble of buying and emptying traps or repairing the damage the rodents cause. Cats purr.
Dogs are disgusting. They will shit and piss anywhere, even right next to the food bowl. They are capable of cleaning themselves by licking but choose to only lick their anuses and genitalia, so they smell horrid in a short time. Dogs require constant attention. They need to be led and told what to do. They chase prey that they wouldn't have a clue what to do with once it's caught, like cars. Dogs drink antifreeze. Dogs fart.
Cats are better than dogs.
Submitted by fun_with_needles (user info) at 2006-05-11 05:26:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Cats.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-05-11 05:25:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I agree. This was still a rubbish post
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-05-11 05:20:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
BWAHAHHHAH HAH HA
THIS ROX!!!!
WHO THE FUCK NEEDS MADDOX?!?!??!?!
I'M CLICKING THAT LINK AS I TYPE!!!!!!!??!?!?!?!
-2 DIE FAG