Emma (762 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.14 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Nellypaal (View user info) at 2006-05-11 08:10:26 EDT
SPT, naturally, because shit is all I post.
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I have an extractor fan named Emma.
In all her geometrical, symmetrical glory, she measures approximately 6-7" square.
(If only I had a ruler then I could truly begin to know her.)
As pure white as a Japanese pond filled with the finest lilies nature could imagine.
She has but two settings; 'on' and 'off', but, somehow, she possesses an infinity of emotions.
As I step out of the shower of confusion, she removes the mist of uncertainty always threatening to fog my mirror of judgement.
Clarity is hers.
The soft, comforting whirr of her voice is the sweetest music, even through the water in my ears.
As the waste of humanity passes through me, endangering my very soul, she is there to remove the stench of life, worsened by the depressing curries of our time.
A faithful servant and trusted friend, her companionship was constant and never-ending.
Until today.
They say it was a fuse. 13 amps.
My dear Emma.
Nevermore.
User Reviews
Submitted by RabiedRooster (user info) at 2007-06-27 08:08:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2006-03-04 01:59:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This is for -2ing all of my posts. Grow up bitch.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-09-05 22:31:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-05-11 17:07:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'M THINK TURNING JAPANESE I'M THINK TURNING JAPANESE I REALLY THINK SO
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-05-11 09:19:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Giant picture.
Expect fires near you soon
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-05-11 08:43:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
We can rebuild her.
Make her better.
We have the technology.
Submitted by dove666 (user info) at 2006-05-11 08:39:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
'As the waste of humanity passes through me, endangering my very soul, she is there to remove the stench of life, worsened by the depressing curries of our time.'
This, not a fuse, is the leading cause of fan death.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-05-11 08:29:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-05-11 08:12:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Holy fuck, that's a big pic. Didn't know my phone was capable. Not reposting..
Yeah, I know, but I was under the influence of Woody Allen and beer when I scrawled this shit down.