IGKTW: The Ballad of Red, Beans & Rice (566 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: competitions
Rating: 1.62 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (View user info) at 2006-05-11 11:03:03 EDT
A Blackfoot by the name of "Red"
A cowboy hat upon his head,
Slapped out a steady beat from
Off his wooden upright bass.
Beside him, hailing from Japan,
There sat a little yellow man
Who went by "Rice" and slid the
Harmonica 'cross his face.
A Mexican with a guitar
Who'd played in mariachi bars
Worked twelve-bar on the twelve string
And his nickname, known, was "Beans."
They played for tips on Bourbon Street
A smokebox down by Rice's feet
Collected change and dollar bills
From folks in New Orleans.
For months they'd tried for gigs and shows
But to them all the bars were closed
"You fellas don't know blues at all"
They'd hear at every turn.
They'd get laughed at by all the blacks,
The whites thought them a tourist trap
Some kitchy little troupe or
Just a photo-op in town.
And so they played on corners, all,
No stage, no lights, just street and wall,
The music was their only friend
And helped to stop their frowns.
The folks who'd stop and catch a tune
Could not see why this strange platoon
Was not headlining concerts or
In studios all day.
For though their look was strange and though
Their heritage was bluesless, no
One could deny that, when in tune,
The three could truly play.
Then one day there, in place of cash
They found a flyer bent in half,
Beans could not read English so
He passed it off to Rice.
The Jap's eyes widened as he read,
His voice it quivered as he said
"A tournament! The King of Brues!
It's going down tonight!"
"How" said Red, and Rice replied
"We register to get inside"
"How" said Red again, and Beans
Said "Let's just walk, come on."
They packed up all their gear, made chase,
For they knew they'd no time to waste,
They followed out the map that
On the flyer's face was drawn.
They wound up at the Circle Bar
And from the front door, stretching far,
A line of hopeful players stood,
The three stood at the end.
The hours passed, they made it to
The registration desk, "And who
Do you three think you are?" the man
Behind the counter asked.
He looked them up and looked them down
Said "There's a Tex-Mex joint in town,
Why don't you all shove off and spare
Yourselves this failing task?"
Beans said "We're Red, Beans & Rice,
And mein your attitude's not nice,
We've come to pick and come to play
And you can't tell us no."
Then Red jumped in, "Put down our names
So we can put this house to shame
And change the way you think about
The blues after our show."
The man complied and let them in
The three could not hold back their grins
As finally they had a chance
To show their skills and trade.
They changed and tuned and prepped and prayed
The lights went down, they took the stage
Instead of loud applause they walked
Out to a silent crowd.
But Red began to hit his bass
And Rice blew notes from out his face
The crowd could not help tap along
Or clap in time, aloud.
Beans took a seat, his axe it rang
He picked the strings and then he sang
"These Beads for All My Land?" a tune
From Red's old catalogue.
The crowd went wild, they made it through
Advancing to round number two,
Where Rice's solo blew the hat
Right off the whole damn house.
They beat the third round band with style
As Beans sang "Juarez Taco Trial"
And worked the frets with fingers
Till he thought that they might bleed.
They took a chance in the fourth round,
But "Nagasaki Blues" tore down
The crowd and left some crying
After Rice's notes were freed.
The years, the suff'ring and the trials
Were worth it when they reached the finals
Up against a local band who
Played with heart and soul.
They'd won the crowd, but to a point,
And this was still an old blues joint
Where standards raised and standards kept
Might keep them from their goal.
The other band took to the stage
And there for fifteen minutes played
A series of old, classic songs
The crowd knew and expected.
They played some Johnson, and some King,
The band could play, the band could sing,
They closed with John Lee Hooker
And they left to cheers, respected.
The threesome took the stage and said
"We have no Johnson, King, instead
We have some brand new songs we hope
You'll hear with open minds."
They started with "Smallpox Lament"
Transitioned to "Ten Peso Rent"
And smoothly broke into "My Girl
Drives Imports, But It's Fine."
"Bad Sushi Blues" came next and then
A round of "I Got a Snake, Mein"
They finished with a medley of
The songs that came before.
The last note hit, the last word said
The crowd sat silent, dazed, and dead
And Red and Beans and Rice thought that
Their luck had run its course.
But then the cheers filled up the place
The crowd all hollared, yelled and raised
Their hands in stark amazement
At this band before their eyes.
They won the night, and won the day,
And all agreed they sure could play,
The "King of Blues 2006"
Went to Red, Beans & Rice.
User Reviews
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-06-20 02:06:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Doodies (user info) at 2006-06-02 04:41:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Some lame shit here.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-05-13 09:29:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For the concept. . .
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-05-11 23:16:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-05-11 16:36:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-05-11 16:20:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THOSE GUYS SHOULD PLAY IN BRANSON, THEY GOT YAKOV SMIRNOFF THERE AND EVERYTHING
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-05-11 16:04:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The fact that they were blackballed from the blues was supposed to make them lonely.
I wanted to have a section where Rice said he was feeling "ronery" but simply didn't have the time.
Of course, if I'd had the time I certainly wouldn't have gone with something like this.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-05-11 15:57:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Got the racism, didn't get the loneliness, but by-jayzuz boy, I don't know where all this shit comes from.
Somewhere there's a guy with a big grin on his face because he is able to say, "I fuck like the O-Man writes verse."
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-05-11 15:18:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
1.5
More poetry and more prose, please.
Thanks, daddy.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-05-11 15:18:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It's about time someone wrote an equal opportunity blues poem.
This is definitely +2 material, comp aside.
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-05-11 13:36:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
A slight edge.
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-05-11 13:35:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Give Coyote.
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-05-11 13:35:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
But I have to.
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-05-11 13:35:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Back to form.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-05-11 11:32:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well *I* liked it.
Submitted by gonefiguring (user info) at 2006-05-11 11:28:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I used to party with those guys back when they were "Jambalaya", back before their black keyboard player "Sausage" went to prison.
Yeah, I know those guys...
*slowly looks back into beer glass*
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-05-11 11:12:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for making me think I was briefly the subject of another Orgasmo post.