A petition/bribe to get Vermin posting on Ubersite again. (1017 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.37 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Aeneas (View user info) at 2006-05-14 18:14:44 EDT
Over a year ago, I remember frantically looking through Google for some good wife-beating jokes/stories/material to laugh at on a boring Monday night. Alas, all I could find was utter crap. Pages upon pages of crappy jokes about men beating their wives... at scrabble. Jokes I've already heard which were funny the first time but have been copied all over the internet. A perfect example being; "what do you say to a woman in a wheelchair? Nothing, she's already been told." Har har.
If that wasn't bad enough I kept on finding websites helping battered wives and victims of domestic violence.
"Domestic Violence Info
How Spousal Abuse & Domestic
Violence Affects Kids & Families.
www.WilliamGladdenFoundation.org"
I mean, dry your god damn eyes. So you got slapped once around the back of the head because your husband came home and his dinner wasn't ready. Big fucking deal, I don't give a shit. I just want to laugh at some funny stuff related to women getting beat up, is that too much to ask?
I thought it was. I even considering stopping my search and getting this sick idea out of my head. I decided I'd give it a few more pages on Google, surely there has got to be something funny on here.
Then I found it, page 6 on Google if you look up "wife beating" with the speech marks. "The joy of wife-beating" showed up. Surely this was too good to be true? I remember my eyes lit up, and I got a nice warm feeling inside knowing there was at least one person out there who shared my humour.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/36473
After I sent this to all my friends and wiped the tears of laughter from my face, I decided to investigate who this person was. I went to the "view user info" link and read every single one of his posts that night. It took me at least 4 hours but it was worth it! I have never seen such talent, wit and a way with words in my life. Also, the way he offends people and puts humour into topics such as retards, bullying, cannibalism, religion, sexism, racism, hate crimes, bullying and prisoner abuse in Iraq. Here is a reminder of how good some of Vermin's work really is and proof of his ingenious writing.
"Tard Bus (NSFW)" - http://www.ubersite.com/m/62407
"Babes of the Special Olympics Swimsuit Calendar" - http://www.ubersite.com/m/41791
"My Wife Had A Miscarriage and Our Slimy Little Angel is with God Now" - http://www.ubersite.com/m/53426
"Babe-skin Condoms" - http://www.ubersite.com/m/45747
Nowadays on ubersite, all I see it utter crap. All you have to do is look at most heated to see some 2.5/10 chick with a post entitled "fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck repost cuz i'm stooopid" get a rating of 0.44 and over 10,000 hits.
Well I'm fed up, which is why I've set up this petition/bribe to Vermin. I will pledge £20 which is like $35 or something to bribe you to start writing again. Now if anyone else feels the need to pledge money for this excellent cause, please do so! If we show enough support, and pledge enough money we can hopefully bring this legend back to ubersite and continue to see his excellent work.
So Vermin, if you're reading this. I, for one, will pay you to start writing on ubersite again.
Thank you for your time.
User Reviews
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2006-06-14 17:48:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fuck off.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-05-15 18:53:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-05-14 18:16:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
yes
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-05-15 00:12:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude you totally lost me after you stopped talking about beating women. If you like women abuse read this piece of shit.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/87306
I fucked that bitch up bad. Man I miss Shobeda.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2006-05-14 22:59:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
vermin=Elvis=on moonbase right now
Submitted by Puffy_Fluff (user info) at 2006-05-14 20:59:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I, Puffy_Fluff, hereby, under no duress or threat, sign this petition to bring Vermin back.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-05-14 19:30:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2006-05-14 19:08:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
he's dead.
--------------------
was he ITM's alter?
Submitted by Aeneas (user info) at 2006-05-14 19:23:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-05-14 18:44:26 (#)
Ranking: -2
I'll be happy to sign the "Who gives a shit about Vermin" petition, if ya got one of those.
Har har *chokes*
But seriously, everyone loves Vermin. Look at this here..
http://www.ubersite.com/m/48881#890916
How often do you ever +2 someone?
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2006-05-14 19:08:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
he's dead.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-05-14 18:44:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'll be happy to sign the "Who gives a shit about Vermin" petition, if ya got one of those.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-05-14 18:20:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I doubt he is coming back
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-05-14 18:20:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
vermin was my inspiration:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/87872
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-05-14 18:16:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yes