So You Want to Kill Everyone at Your High School? Is That So Wrong? (1840 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.73 on 42 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Teephphah (View user info) at 2006-05-16 14:17:30 EDT
Maybe I'm not the best person to tackle this prickly little development. But so far I'm the one with the BREAKING NEWS FLASH, so I'm going to anyway. So there. Eat me.
Bitch.
Anyway, it all started when I read this article:
http://insidedenver.com/drmn/local/article/0,1299,DRMN_15_4702205,00.html
And the interview that the article sums up:
http://blogs.rockymountainnews.com/denver/freePlay/2006/05/qa_creator_of_super_columbine.html#more
I'm not going to paste the text here, because that's just not why you're here. You're here for my patented wit and wisdom and probably a couple jokes about my penis. WELL TOUGH, NO DICK JOKES TODAY!
Anyway, what the above-referenced article(s) is/are about is a video game. Possibly the most tasteless video game known to date? Maybe.
Try this on for size, "The Super Columbine Massacre Role-Playing Game" where YOU get to be Dillon and Kleibolt as they set bombs and randomly kill classmates and teachers.
The game also features actual quotes from the two misunderstood boys - collected from their assorted writings. AND as an extra bonus, you get to see REAL photos of their bodies when you complete the game!
There are probably more facts that could be important, but . . . meh.
Oh, the game's designer says that he created the game because he wanted to get people talking about what caused the tragedy. If you read between the lines it means, "I've always been a nerd and I want people to stop picking on me." Actually, I don't think you have to read between the lines. I think he actually says that. But . . . you get the idea. Picked on geek idolizes geeks-who-fought-back-against-the-tyranny-of-the-high-school-caste-system and DESIGNS a video game (possibly the geekiest homage ever?) to lionize them.
Oooookay, so now for my insider's perspective (I am a geek, but by no means geeky enough to design a video game):
I want to be pissed about this game, but when I get home today, I'll probably download it.
Does that make me a bad person?
Honestly, I want to see the dead bodies of those two freaks. Maybe that's the worst kind of voyeurism, maybe it's natural curiosity. I don't particularly care. Sure, I could probably just Google them, but if I play the game to see them I GET TO PLAY A GAME! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!
Besides, who knows how much work this guy put into the game? There could be scenarios and cut-scenes in there no one has even contemplated. Maybe I can get in there and SHARE THE LOVE OF JESUS CHRIST WITH THE GUNMEN AND SAVE THE WHOLE SCHOOL - MAYBE EVEN THE WORLD!!!!!!!!
What? You don't know. It could happen.
Maybe.
Anyway, as a fan of the Grand Theft Auto video game franchise and current HARD-CORE member of the Grove Street Families (And let me just say, fuck ALL y'all punk-ass Balla bitches. I'ma gat yo' ass if I see you. You KNOW this, "ese.") maybe my attitude toward simulated violence isn't exactly as "sensitive" as it could be. Maybe I have been just the teeny-tiniest bit de-sensitized to simulated, pixilated violence.
Do I still count as human if I get squeamish watching surgery on the Discovery Channel?
I think I do.
And I think that's an important distinction. When I know that the gore I'm seeing is real, I go all girly, squeal like a pig and come down with a full-body case of the heebity-geebibities. When I know that the (probably illegal) Mexican fling his colors (and PINK of all colors!) on MY turf is just a series of numbers on a DVD . . . SOUP'S ON BITCHES!~
So, yeah. Super Columbine Massacre RPG. I'm probably going to check it out. Even though I'm pretty sure that it's in bad taste and feel absolutely no pity for the poor little picked on geeks who are going to live vicariously through it.
Wow. Look at me. I'm not only watching the downfall of western civilization; I'm knowingly participating in it.
Mom's gonna be so proud.
User Reviews
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-05-18 00:47:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ooooooooooooooh man...
Now ya see, this guy is just a tool.
Not you, Teeph, the designer.
I've seen the pics, they're rather fucked up, but nothing you probably haven't seen before.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-05-17 13:27:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Some people are just too damn oversensitive. Play the game and get a few larfs.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-05-17 12:01:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-05-17 00:37:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm also no good at smuggling propane bombs into school cafeterias.
---
What, is the mid-boss a hall monitor?
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-05-17 11:27:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Someone had to do it.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-05-17 11:19:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
None of that Columbine bullshit would have happened if we where more open in encouraging and supporting suicide.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-05-17 11:10:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I used to be pretty violent in junior high school. When someone would tease me on a certain "religion", punches would rapidly ensue.
Then I abandonned God and turned into a faggot.
Life is hard.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2006-05-17 11:08:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't necessarily want to kill everyone at my high school.
I just wanted them all dead.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-05-17 10:49:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*wait
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-05-17 10:49:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-05-16 22:59:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
Julie -
What's weird is - I can handle my own blood. As long as I can guage what kind of pain I'm in, I'm good. But when I see OTHER PEOPLE'S blood, or other people in situations that LOOK painful I lose my shit.
===
Is that why you're anti-abortion?
Oh, way, you're also pro-war? W00T! JESUS LOVES DEAD IRAQI BABIES!!!
Submitted by JapanFour (user info) at 2006-05-17 01:44:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
dell tastes yummy
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-05-17 00:37:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, I've downloaded the game (and no doubt deluged myself with spyware) and am playing it. This is what I can tell you so far:
If the guy who programmed the game has EVEN THE FIRST CLUE about the real personalities of Dillon and Klebold they were SO EXTREMEL FUCKED IN THE HEADS that they honestly needed to die (and in all honesty - if the game is accurate - they at least recognized that part).
I kinda hope Hell is real.
I'm also no good at smuggling propane bombs into school cafeterias.
BUT KMFDM RULES!
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-05-16 23:08:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Eye surgery makes me wince.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-05-16 22:59:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Julie -
What's weird is - I can handle my own blood. As long as I can guage what kind of pain I'm in, I'm good. But when I see OTHER PEOPLE'S blood, or other people in situations that LOOK painful I lose my shit.
I guess I just love too much.
I'm too empathic. I put myself in their place and then assume the WOOOOORST possible pain imaginable.
True story: My sister still teases me about a time we went to the doctor so that she could get a mole removed from her leg. The doctor had to stop his work on HER leg because I had climbed under a chair and was screaming my head off.
Yeah. I'm pretty fucked up. Why do you ask?
BUT, to this DAY my sister will faint if she gets a shot. *I* however, wimper pitifully BUT RETAIN FULL CONSCIOUSNESS!
PROOF that my sister is a pussy-assed bitch.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-05-16 21:22:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Do I still count as human if I get squeamish watching surgery on the Discovery Channel?"
You probably faint at the sight of blood don't you? I can maybe understand feeling sick if you're in the OR and smell the blood or the burning flesh from the cautery or something like that but I never understood why people get so grossed out with blood and guts and surgery. Do you picture it happening to you or something and that's what freaks you out?
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2006-05-16 19:17:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'll just assume you've made all this up
Submitted by eppliks (user info) at 2006-05-16 19:13:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do I still count as human if I get squeamish watching surgery on the Discovery Channel?
I think I do.
And I think that's an important distinction. When I know that the gore I'm seeing is real, I go all girly, squeal like a pig and come down with a full-body case of the heebity-geebibities. When I know that the (probably illegal) Mexican fling his colors (and PINK of all colors!) on MY turf is just a series of numbers on a DVD . . . SOUP'S ON BITCHES!~
_____
Damn, man, why doesn't anyone ever bring that up?
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2006-05-16 16:49:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-05-16 16:38:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Feeling a little manic today are we?
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-05-16 16:38:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Someone came in here with some work related thing and I hit submit before I could describe what it was about. I haven't played it or really have any interest in doing so, but apparently this is a game designed by someone at USC to illustrate the plight of people in Darfur. You pick a character and then get to enjoy having them suffer the typical fate of that person. If you survive a week, you "win".
sounds like fun oh sure who wouldn't want to get raped and murdered foraging for water in the desert
Isn't there a game out there where you shoot illegals coming across the border?
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-05-16 16:27:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-05-16 15:46:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Does it come with a game editor?
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-05-16 15:44:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Then what's the mottled yellow thing at the bottom rightish corner? Is that a body or a rubber duck?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-05-16 15:07:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
whose the boss at the end? Janet Reno?
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-05-16 14:59:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I never had any luck getting my Sims to light on fire. I locked them up and made them fight each other for food.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-05-16 14:58:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Uh. Pretty sure those "bodies" are "chairs" there fire-bug.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-05-16 14:58:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The JFK assassination game was way more fun.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-05-16 14:52:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Back in grade school, I was all over the head stomping Super Mario Brothers. As a jr high student, I didn't ONCE flinch as Sonic bounced on evil robots - turning them into cute seals and birdies. In college, I purchased the "House Party" expansion to The Sims just so I could lock 30 people in a room and set them on fire. I just loved the way they hopped about and screamed in gibberish. I am a veteran of graphic violence, which is exactly why I can tell you that your screen shot can only be considered graphically violent in the most obscure sense. The "bodies" are a mottled bunch of black pixels, for chrissakes.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-16 14:50:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Violent games can only damage the minds of those whose minds are already damage. I can distinguish reality from fantasy, so when I throw people alive into incinerators in The Godfather, I do not want to do the same in real life.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-05-16 14:50:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you can't be prejudiced against white people only niggers.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-05-16 14:45:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i love it when teeph is either:
a) off the meds
b) drinking
c) all of the above.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-05-16 14:43:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-05-16 14:37:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
For some reason I thought that in your pasty white, uptight, and out of sight world they didn't allow such things as GTA and the like.
Odd that seems.
________________________________________________________
Oh that. Yeah. It seems odd because you're prejudiced.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2006-05-16 14:43:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
darth maul kicks ass.
that is all.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-05-16 14:42:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-05-16 14:31:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck school shooters, video game desgners get what they want because they earned it.
-----------------------------------
Never gets old.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-05-16 14:38:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Loki - I can't see what's going on with that link. Bob says I can't install any more "crap" on my machine or I'm going to be in trouble. To see your little Darfur thing I'd have to get the new Flash player.
<meeps for the children>
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-05-16 14:37:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For some reason I thought that in your pasty white, uptight, and out of sight world they didn't allow such things as GTA and the like.
Odd that seems.
Anyway, does the word 'lionize' have anything to do with making someone more Lion-O-esque?
Because I'd be totally down with that.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-05-16 14:36:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
THAT'S WHAT THEY SAID ABOUT A LITTLE GAME CALLED "THE LEGEND OF ZELDA" PFF!!!!
Okay. They didn't. But . . . no. No. You're right after all.
So much for my early retirement.
Damn it.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-05-16 14:34:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-05-16 14:31:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck school shooters, video game desgners get what they want because they earned it.
====
leilani, you're a goddamn genius.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-05-16 14:34:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well obviously better than NES quality because the game is something like 25mb, a nes cartridge could hold like 80k, and even a SNES cartridge could only hold maybe 2mb, pretty sure you can have 640x480 resolution, and mp3 and stuff, but even if you make anything with it, it's still only going to be like something electro would turn out, it's a lot easier than actually a programming a game but even if you spend a few hundred hours making one, nobody is going to want to play it
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-05-16 14:31:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck school shooters, video game desgners get what they want because they earned it.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-05-16 14:29:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.darfurisdying.com/
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-05-16 14:28:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
PFF - I saw a mention of that program in the article and, my protestations to the contrary notwithstanding, I wondered if that might be worth the time to look at. Just to fuck around with, mind. What kind of depth can you get with something like that? NES Quality? Or are we talking Zork?
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-05-16 14:23:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it was made with RPGmaker, as soon as I saw the screenshots I realized it was shit and not worth the download, but here is a game that actually is fun:
http://newgrounds.com/portal/view/188661