I hate co-worker and so do you...shit i'm someones co-worker (478 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Real-Life-Crap
Rating: 0.57 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Hourman (View user info) at 2006-05-17 07:07:21 EDT
Does anyone else get the feeling that when they go into work, they suddenly realise they're the only 'normal' person in the whole building? I have to wonder does everyone in here realise that their traits are classic co-worker traits, simply because it's so painfully obvious!
Blonde boy: I never speak to this prick (I judge him solely on the way he looks, the car he drives, and the way I hear him talk every now and then). He is about 5ft8 and has the body shape of a mouldy twiglet, except for his hair. His hair is a 4inch raised globe of doom and suffering. It is peroxide ridden and gelled with enough shit to block a toilet. He is the sort of guy who buys a spoiler for his ford fiesta (which he has, in bright blue, with a fucking mod kit) expecting it to go an extra 20mph. Anyway he is like a really ugly version of all the kids out of Gap + some sort of hair product advert.
The crazy lady: oh my god this one is weird. Every conversation you have with her starts with a smile and ends with an old saying. One conversation had three in. Yes three. It was about me quitting my old job and it was 'Every cloud has a silver lining' 'When one door closes, another opens' and at one point she just went 'tut, too many cooks' WTF is that about? Also because crazy ladies speak faster than most, her mouth goes dry and that spit at the side starts to form. WIPE YOU FUCKING MOUTH.
Indescribable: This guy is so boring you want to take his life away from him and then give it back to him when he decides what he wants to do. He is the sort of guy who actually has time to sit and readjust his desktop, or change his password every month or even...shop for mouse pads. There is nothing I can say. I once asked him if he wanted to go for a pint, he said he better not, BEER MAKES HIM HYPER....fucking hell son lets get you some redbull you mad man you. Jesus Christ imagine that loony on red bull...yeah I can, two mouse pads.
The MD: He introduced me to one women as Shelia 'the Stink' Grine...wtf was I gonna do? I just went 'Hi', and tried not to cry. He laughed; she smiled (but died a little inside). My MD has a big dick, he must do. Simply for the fact that he has to employ this many people to suck it. He also parks in the disabled spot. If you have a brand new building and you know you have no cripples working for you, don't build that car park space. If cripples MIGHT turn up, DON'T FUCKING PARK IN IT.
Hahaha my manager just read this and wants to know what it's for. Fuck. Oh well.
Oh and by the way I realise I'm the cliché loser sitting at work typing away judging everyone but himself, well fuck my colleagues. When they join uber they can judge me all they want.
User Reviews
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-06 07:17:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-05 09:54:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
I am going to rate every one of your posts with a +2 without reading them.
Submitted by swedish_pump (user info) at 2006-06-01 11:01:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for trying.
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2006-05-17 19:18:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Jesus Christ imagine that loony on red bull...yeah I can, two mouse pads."
Submitted by BrownEyedGirrl (user info) at 2006-05-17 18:53:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-05-17 12:16:10 (#)
Ranking: 1
just for grins and giggles,
call police and report that someone's
parked in the handicap spot
and see if they come and give him a ticket.
====================================================
your comment was funnier than his post!!
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-05-17 12:16:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
just for grins and giggles,
call police and report that someone's
parked in the handicap spot
and see if they come and give him a ticket.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-05-17 09:26:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-05-17 07:14:05 (#)
Ranking: -2
I sure hope you have Down Syndrome.
------------------------
Runner up in the special olypics folks
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-05-17 09:25:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah i know. I rushed it and kinda got bored half way through. Complete fucking waste of your and my time. Sorry to bestow this coposite of pure shit upon you.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-05-17 08:52:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
was a good idea for a post, but poorly executed.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-05-17 07:14:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I sure hope you have Down Syndrome.