A Big Steaming Pile of Random (742 hits)
Category: Science & EnvironmentalRating: 0.12 on 35 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by SilvrWolf (View user info) at 2006-05-17 11:04:07 EDT
I have no idea why I wrote this. Oh yeah, I'm a loser with no life. Just leave your -2 by the door on the way out. General randomness is coming up...
MUSIC-
Anybody out there listen to Sleater Kinney? The album, One Beat, is pretty fucking cool. A buddy of mine called them Cunt Rock, and he was pretty close, I suppose. The lead chick is a freakin' wailer and her main back-up (that's not fair to her, I guess. They pretty much share equal mic time) complements her wonderfully. I can't really get into their other albums, although "All Hands on the Bad One" has a couple of good songs, including the title track and "Youth Decay". Check it out sometime if you wish.
If I hear "Golddigger" on the radio or anywhere else again, I'm going to drive an Escalade (with 24-inch dubs, of course) straight up Kanye West's urethra. Jumpin' Jeebus, man, even the local news has used it as the background track whilst showing the sports scores. I went to see him perform at Roanoke College last year and the show wasn't bad, but the operative words here are "last year". That infernal song was on the charts then. Hey Kanye, release a better single, dude. Hell, dare I say it? I'd even settle for a remix.
DISCLAIMER: I live in BFE Virginia and they have a tendency to be oh, eight months behind the rest of the world when it comes to the radio.
Somebody suggest to me a few of the more obscure albums in any genre. I'm feeling pretty stale right now, music-wise and need to expand.
ETS-
Well, I see you crazy kids have drawn ETS out of the shadows once again. It's pretty sad to watch, actually. I'm starting to get genuinely concerned for him. Referring to himself in the third-person is where I started feeling that for him (clinical dissociation, anyone?). Granted, I haven't had the chance to talk to him personally for some time now, so I have no clue how bad he's gotten. I have noticed his degeneration here, though, leading to his "departure". I'm still not convinced he hasn't taken all of you for a ride. Don't underestimate his intelligence or his will to manipulate.
Brad, come home to us, man. They've put windows in all the padded rooms now and the orderlies will let you and I talk on our tin-can phones again. I even picked the lock on the medicine cart and have all kinds of goodies stashed in my room.
RODENTS-
I love mice. Living out in the boonies gives me opportunities to invent all sorts of ways to dispose of the little shits. Since we don't have cows anymore, there's no feed in the barns for them to go to so they come in the cabin. Did you know that a simple rubber band and folded paperclip can make a projectile weapon capable of instantly killing those furry bastards? It takes practice and patience but you too, can be the marksman I've become. I have recorded three kills with that device alone.
Next on the list (ok, it's not a list, this is the only other method I've tried. Fuck you. Don't judge me) is the empty soda can. Take a can and pour a little chocolate syrup in it. Lay it on its side next to a wall where you've seen the pest traveling. Sooner or later, you'll catch him going in there. It does mean you have to have no life and ample time on your hands. Anyhow, when you catch him in there, the real fun begins! Get creative! Cover the top of it or just flip it upside-down. Stomp it, kick it, smash it on your forehead, whatever. Spray cotton balls with ether, drop them in a mason jar and put the can in with them (my personal favorite). That way, he goes out feeling no pain. If you're sadistic, burn the can with a lighter. It's your can, kids; the possibilities are endless.
What's that you say? A mousetrap? Get the fuck outta here! I can't afford all the luxuries you rich bastards can. <shakes head>
HIPPIES-
I love hippies, too - more than mice, even, but less than midgets. Midgets rule. Find me a female midget hippy, and I'll show you the future Mrs. White. I'm straying a bit here. I met some cool hippy-types at the bar last night and got invited to a party this weekend. I thought about going as a goth, but I don't want to make a bad first impression. I might put on mechanic's coveralls and my straw hat. That'll bring all the girls to the yard - running for their lives. Oh wait, that's normal. "People think I'm insane because I am frowning all the time."
POST ENDINGS-
...
Fuck it. Here's a picture of the latest rodentia mortis. (I'm telling you. This method works) WARNING!!! If you are a bleeding-heart animal lover, do not look at this picture!
User Reviews
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2006-05-18 02:54:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
And +1 because I apparently can't subtract.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2006-05-18 02:53:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 you posted
-1 dead mousy thing
And for the record, I do NOT scream and leap on a chair when confronted with a rodent of any type. Unless said rodent carries Plague and/or is Mickey Mouse.
Submitted by BrownEyedGirrl (user info) at 2006-05-17 18:37:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
""...wouldn't you like to be a pepper too....""
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2006-05-17 18:32:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-05-17 11:05:38 (#)
Ranking: -1
+2 i like random
-3 i am a bleeding heart animal lover.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-05-17 17:41:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Find me a female midget hippy, and I'll show you the future Mrs. White.
-----------
I thought you had one imported from England...
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-05-17 16:15:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
First off, you're racist against Kanye West. That man is the hardest working entertainer of our day, and we should buy his records and consider him in the leagues of musical pioneers such as Mozart, Lynyrd Skynyrd, and those Indians in New Mexico that play those badass flutes. You got money, right? Why isn't this the national anthem of upper-class white supremacists?
Second, ETS is just bored. Bored bored bored bored. Indiana. Been there? Sucks turtle ass. I understand his motives, and know that it's just a way to outlet the bizarre side of his brain without consequence. Sure, he could just play video games, but is he really any good at Halo 2? Really?
Then there's the hippies. Yeah, okay. Give me a day to talk and i'll explain hippies to you. They got all the healthy stuff, so I don't appreciate them hoarding it with their ridiculous prices for a bag of spinach. I could go on, but I realize we need them for stuff, like good weed.
Stop fucking with dead rodents, and stop drinking soda. STOP IT.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-05-17 14:00:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The execution of the post, or the execution of the mouse?
If it's the post, I completely agree. I slapped it together this morning solely because I haven't posted in months. It took me longer to take the pic, upload and crop it than to type the actual text. Hence why I've not gone ballistic over the ratings (not that I ever cared about that) and also why I've camped this bitch for several hours now. I'd go outside and play but the sun is shining and momma says that sunlight is the concubine of Satan.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2006-05-17 13:48:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Im for most of this in principle, but the execution is meh.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-05-17 13:30:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've heard of PEI, but can't say as I've ever seen it. I'll look it up.
Sorenstam's a cunter. Bless her.
And I remember our discussion on WWII. It was about the failing of Hitler's regime being timely enough to prevent the U.S. from dropping a nuke in the middle of Europe. Ten years later and we would've been lobbing small (under 5 kiloton yield) tactical nukes from Howitzers across Germany. Terrifying.
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-05-17 13:17:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LPGA tour came here a few years ago, and I met Lori Kane and watsherface Sorenstam and some gook Kim Yun Pak or something like that.
oooOOOOOoooooo
highlights of my life right there.
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-05-17 13:16:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, you golf, too. Wicked. Ever heard of Prince Edward Island?
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-05-17 13:13:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto silvrwolf +2. Yes, that's what I said. I did not read the post. But you seem to know your shit about stuff and the likes, judging by some comment that I THINK you said a long time ago about something along the lines of world war two. I think. In any case, auto silvrwolf +2.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-05-17 12:52:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's a deal. Thanks for your help, man.
I'm looking to do it maybe the third week in June. I'm pulling a coastal trip.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-05-17 12:50:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And Harbour Town would make me look like a total beyatch, I'm afraid. I have a wicked natural fade I can't seem to correct. I'm talking about right-turn-type fades at times. I'm severely lacking a fundamental concept somewhere.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-05-17 12:48:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you come down here, I'll take you and whomever out for some drinks.
My office is 5 minutes from Harbour Town, and you'll pass my house on your drive in to the island.
Just leave a message in my last post - no matter how shitty or old and useless it is - and I'll get back to you to coordinate.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-05-17 12:41:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Eagle's Pointe looks pretty good, but Belfair is stunning. And it's a Fazio development, so it's got that going for it, too.
Thanks. I've been planning a trip for awhile now and thought about hitting up a few courses down there. I'd still like to play Augusta just once.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-05-17 12:30:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Most famous course on HHI: http://www.seapines.com/Recreation/Golf/Courses/HarbourTownGolfLinks.asp
Where Shlongy lives: http://www.eaglespointegolf.com/main.htm
Where Shlongy is giving serious thought to moving to:
http://belfairhiltonhead.com/realestate/belfairgolf.html
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-05-17 12:18:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you have a list, Shlongy, I'll add the names to mine.
On a side note: what's the top-notch course down around Hilton Head?
On another side note: PLEASE STOP YELLING AT ME!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-05-17 12:10:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
LEAVE THE RODENTS ALONE AND CONCENTRATE ON TRAPPING AND TORTURING ASSHOLE HUMANS.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-05-17 12:09:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm willing to bet that most of the people upset about the pic are the same type of people who jump up on a chair screaming when one of these furry cunts runs across the floor.
Ok, I'm not willing to bet on it.
If it's any consolation to you guys, I made sure the first shot killed him outright. He never felt a thing. The other methods are purely out of my imagination, ya buncha pansies.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-05-17 12:00:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
murderer
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-05-17 11:51:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, you're right, apollo. It was kinda sympathetic.
I stand corrected.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-05-17 11:36:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That was sympathy? I thought it was just an observation.
Have you started wearing cowboy hats yet, apollo?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-05-17 11:32:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
auto ETS sympathy -2.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-05-17 11:23:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, Cookie, I so love thee.
Yes, yes - google. Of course.
In my defense, I didn't stomp that one. I punted him.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-05-17 11:21:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Uther - http://www.ubersite.com/m/42491
They're not mine, but I have made sweet sweet love to them. Oh, and the chick they were attached to, as well.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2006-05-17 11:19:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto Silvr +2
quit stomping on mice. I'm going to pretend that you got that off google.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-05-17 11:18:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ze Kinney are good. Possibly the only all-chick band I listen to.
Submitted by King_Uther (user info) at 2006-05-17 11:18:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SHOW ME YER TITS!
Submitted by King_Uther (user info) at 2006-05-17 11:17:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-05-17 11:05:38 (#)
Ranking: -1
+2 i like random
-4 i am a bleeding heart animal lover.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-05-17 11:15:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sweet. Thanks, wookie. I'm starting a list already.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2006-05-17 11:12:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know about obscure, but...
The new Calexico is awesome. As are the new ones from Elbow and the Rakes. Hmmm, and I just picked up an older record--"The Heilig-Levine LP"--by Ticonderoga (sort of like Radiohead meets Tortoise) that I'm recommending to everyone.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-05-17 11:10:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't have Call the Doctor. Hmm. I'll check that one out, too.
Sorry, leilani. I don't kill many things, I promise. But rodents carry the plague, for goodness sake!
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2006-05-17 11:07:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sleater-Kinney is alright. I thought Call the Doctor was a decent album.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-05-17 11:05:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
+2 i like random
-3 i am a bleeding heart animal lover.