Look here you twisted old fruit! (630 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.66 on 32 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by LSD 420 <lsd4444.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2006-05-17 21:07:17 EDT
So I was sitting at home one day masturbating to pictures of explosions when all of a sudden my door busts down and these three white kids come in. And there's two fat ones and a midget. So the midget goes,
"We've got a slice of beef!"
"PLEASE DON'T SHOOT" I said. I had had an inexplicable fear of beef since my parents were killed by beef as a child. Which I guess makes it explicable.
The midget jumps up on my desk and says,
"Hello, my Homey Gee! I have an unaddressed quarrel with you, or as my me and my gang friends call it: a slice of beef!"
"Yes, a slice of beef!" the two fat ones echoed.
"Oh I must correct myself, I meant to say 'my gang friends and I'. I apologize for my incorrect grammatical usage." The midget said, red faced.
So I shot off a few loads of lava at them out of my titanium dick and they melted into smithereens.
So then I hopped on my Rhinocerous-Mobile went out to go eat lunch at the strip club. I walked in and took a bite out of a stripper's leg. She screamed, but upon realizing who I was, she climaxed, farted, fainted, and began crying all at the same time.
So then this bouncer tried to attack me, but luckily, he fell into a bottomless with tigers at the bottom. I guess those karate lessons really did pay off.
Then I went out with the Cyst Master and Awesome Face and we cruised for chicks in my Rhinoceros-Mobile. Unfortunately, it was just like in that bad Jim Carrey movie, and the Rhinoceros had to shit all over us because it was getting hot or something. I don't remember the movie.
So we went to the club and they had all these lasers on and everyone was dancing in tight shiny stuff. I slipped some X into my own drink but I got so tripped out that I tried to slip a date rape pill into my own drink.
It worked and I fucked myself. I have never gotten over the pain.
So then the guy who owns the club was like,
"Oh, you guys! We need someone to be sexy or we'll all explode!"
Everyone looked at me expectantly, but I just walked out. Everyone exploded except the Cyst Master and Awesome Face.
We picked up the pieces of exploded fag and marketed them as air-freshener to people who can't smell and made like a billion jillion dollars.
That's how cool we are.
Like I said, a billion million dollars, fuckface!
SUPER HERO JUSTICE POWER FRIENDS LEAGUE SQUAD ADVENTURE TEAM BUDDIES UNITE!
User Reviews
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-06-24 12:24:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Where the fuck have I been?
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-05-19 17:56:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-05-19 17:24:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-05-19 16:17:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
Cyst Master is cooler than awesome face.
____
My bad I meant im cooler than cyst.
-------
haha, that's what I thought
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-05-19 17:24:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-05-19 16:17:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
Cyst Master is cooler than awesome face.
____
My bad I meant im cooler than cyst.
Submitted by JapanFour (user info) at 2006-05-19 16:31:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-05-18 00:37:18 (#)
Ranking: -2
I have no idea how this has a positive rating...
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because its funny
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-05-19 16:17:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cyst Master is cooler than awesome face.
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-05-18 18:00:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
redskieslookfake, you're a real twisted old fruit
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-05-18 13:36:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Kinda hot in these rhinos".
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-05-18 13:34:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
weak
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-05-18 13:18:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
some people think outside of the box.
you, on the other hand, think ouside of the padded cell.
sweet!
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-05-18 07:55:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wait, is this one appolo or is that the other guy?
Submitted by King_Uther (user info) at 2006-05-18 05:21:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
STFU
Submitted by fun_with_needles (user info) at 2006-05-18 04:56:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-05-18 04:55:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Not Bosh
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-05-18 03:04:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-05-18 00:37:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GOLD!!!
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-05-18 00:37:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I have no idea how this has a positive rating...
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-05-17 23:42:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
There, I took the story as it is.
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-05-17 23:41:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-05-17 23:41:38 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-05-17 23:41:23 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-05-17 23:41:05 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-05-17 23:40:52 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-05-17 22:34:12 (#)
Ranking: -2
"That's how cool we are."
I bet when you wrote that you actually wrote bosh the first time and then had to backspace over it.
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-05-17 23:41:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-05-17 23:41:23 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-05-17 23:41:05 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-05-17 23:40:52 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-05-17 22:34:12 (#)
Ranking: -2
"That's how cool we are."
I bet when you wrote that you actually wrote bosh the first time and then had to backspace over it.
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-05-17 23:41:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-05-17 23:41:05 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-05-17 23:40:52 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-05-17 22:34:12 (#)
Ranking: -2
"That's how cool we are."
I bet when you wrote that you actually wrote bosh the first time and then had to backspace over it.
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-05-17 23:41:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-05-17 23:40:52 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-05-17 22:34:12 (#)
Ranking: -2
"That's how cool we are."
I bet when you wrote that you actually wrote bosh the first time and then had to backspace over it.
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-05-17 23:40:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-05-17 22:34:12 (#)
Ranking: -2
"That's how cool we are."
I bet when you wrote that you actually wrote bosh the first time and then had to backspace over it.
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-05-17 23:22:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Take the story as is, without whoever wrote it attached, you fucks.
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-05-17 23:22:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck all yall, this is good
Submitted by Chazzy (user info) at 2006-05-17 22:54:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hey, if you want wild bears eatin' your children and scarin' your
salmon, that's your business. But I'm not gonna take it! Who's with
me?
-- Homer Simpson
Much Apu About Nothing
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-05-17 22:36:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/87903
Faggot.
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-05-17 22:34:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"That's how cool we are."
I bet when you wrote that you actually wrote bosh the first time and then had to backspace over it.
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-05-17 22:27:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
FINALLY, JUSTICE FOR THE GENIUS!
I just hope shlongy or COmountain doesn't find this
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-05-17 22:03:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
totally getting old but ya just give a plus 2 every now and then
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-05-17 22:01:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was gonna -1 this cause it's getting old but the filename is +2 worthy.
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-05-17 21:59:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nobody has yet looked!
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-05-17 21:08:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shit oops "bottomless pit"