Something New.... (450 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.5 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Grownasskid (View user info) at 2006-05-19 00:07:33 EDT
I am, by no stretch of the imagination, a worldly man. No one looks at me and thinks to themselves "Man, I'll bet that good looking son of a bitch over there had seen it all". There are still about 40 or 50 things I think I need to do before I shuffle off this mortal coil; if anything, the list keeps getting longer as I get older.
That's not to say I've wasted the first fourth of my life. I'm not a tour guide, but I have seen and done a thing or two.
I've been to Europe and sat on park benches older than my home country. I've seen the painfully, obviously beautiful of the older cities across the sea; I've found the subtle radiance of an autumn afternoon in New England.
I've flown over across land and ocean, seeing the land as some even today will never get the chance to. Looking down from my chariot in the sky, I've can see the beauty nature and the destructive grotesqueness of progress.
I've seen disasters, on both a personal and public scale. I've seen people 5 times my age shake off cancer; I've seen children younger than me die at the hands of things as innocent as wet socks on a cold day. I've seen the beauty of both birth and death, and I've seen the devastation caused by both as well.
I've buried two grandparents, one parent, and two sisters. I've held two nephews and four nieces. I've driven with handles of vodka in my stomach and made it home safe and sound; I've driven a car into a telephone pole in broad daylight on my way home from work. I've made love to a number of women; I've fucked a few less women (sometimes doing both to the same woman).
Basically, I've seen and done just about as much as anyone else, maybe even a little more depending on circumstance.
But today, I did something for the first time. For the first time this year, I did something completely new; had a brand new experience.
I used lotion for the first time while masturbating. I'm never going back.
User Reviews
Submitted by BrownEyedGirrl (user info) at 2006-05-19 18:37:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-05-19 16:23:22 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-05-19 08:08:52 (#)
Ranking: 1
Although this was funny, it was written horribly. Therefore the +1. Keep up the good work.
----------------
Indeed hilarious.
Indeed written by only a semi-grown ass kid.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-05-19 16:42:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I WAS gonna guess you had teh buttsex, but I bet you're an old pro at that by now...
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-05-19 16:23:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-05-19 08:08:52 (#)
Ranking: 1
Although this was funny, it was written horribly. Therefore the +1. Keep up the good work.
----------------
Indeed hilarious.
Indeed written by only a semi-grown ass kid.
Submitted by _SuSpEcT_ (user info) at 2006-05-19 13:43:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
gotta love randomness!!!!!!!! A GREAT BIG PAIR OF POLKA DOT SHORTS?!?!?!? HOW DID THEY GET THERE?
Submitted by dove666 (user info) at 2006-05-19 12:21:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Now take the next step....add 1 tablespoon of playground sand.
Submitted by swine_powered_hate_machine (user info) at 2006-05-19 10:14:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now that was worth the time it took to read.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-05-19 08:08:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Although this was funny, it was written horribly. Therefore the +1. Keep up the good work.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-05-19 07:51:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Welcome!
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-05-19 04:26:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
almost laughed my balls off, man. *almost*
fuckin scare that was
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-05-19 04:18:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good for you man.
peace
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-05-19 04:08:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hehe. Nice switch.
Submitted by King_Uther (user info) at 2006-05-19 00:54:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHA THIS WAS FUNNY!