Tales of Stupidity: I'm Scared for the Leaders of Tomorrow (877 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.91 on 32 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by S R (View user info) at 2006-05-23 12:02:06 EDT
Now this is a tale of stupidity. Not some ordinary stupidity I mean the type that makes you wonder how these people have lived this far into their lives.
As you know or don't know, when I'm not sitting at my desk I am substitute teaching. Last Thursday I was substituting a Sports leadership class in the gym. This class is run by the students, each week one student organizes activities and then he/she gets evaluated on their leadership skills.
This week, the student in charge chose to run a skills competition: A variety of events and then sequentially ranking the participants after each event. I decided to join in because what the hell, I may as well put these seventeen year olds in their place.
Hockey, Lacrosse, Soccer and hey what do you know I'm in the lead. The fourth event was sprints. Run from one end of the gym touch the wall and come back and touch the wall. I decide to go first. Now I used to be a fast guy but now with the beer gut, 15 unwanted pounds I was very curious how quick I was in comparison to a bunch of high school athletic kids. I wanted to run a good time.
I take off, full tilt, run, touch and am coming back really hard. I let up right before the wall and hit it slightly. 10.2 seconds or something, I still don't know if that's good or anything, because I want to see the comparison. But being the responsible teacher I am, I feel that it is a little dangerous to be running full speed into walls.
I advise the student running the event to move the run closer to an open hallway that runs off the gym, so that on the way back after touching the far wall the students can just run into the hallway instead of the wall. I hope that makes sense. I'd draw a diagram but it probably wouldn't help.
Two other students do their sprints and everything is running perfect, and my time is holding strong on top.
Then it's Jeff's turn. He was the kid I really wanted to know if I could beat. He's a strong athlete and it would be a good measuring stick for this 27 year old who thinks he still can compete with the youngin's. He's got a great start, good exchange at the far wall, he stumbles a bit but no loss of speed. Now he's really picked it up for the home stretch.
Now I really don't want to knock a kid's mental health but he proceeds to do the stupidest thing I'd ever see a human do with my own eyes. I first look up and see that he's not headed for the open hallway, he's headed for the wall. OK he'll slow up, I say to myself. No he's not slowing up. And that's not a wall he's headed for, that's a window.
CRASH! BANG! SHARDS!
Ok, Now you are sitting there reading this and wondering why the hell there is a window in a high school gym. Let me assure you, this window is for the gym offices so that the gym teachers can keep an eye out on the gym. This is no ordinary window, this is the reinforced glass with the metal wiring throughout. This is the window that I chucked baseballs, basketballs, soccer balls and hockey pucks at full tilt when I went to high school here.
Jeff did it with his head and left arm.
After dropping a 'Holy Shit'. I go to Jeff. He has sliced the inside of his bicep and forearm and the top of right eye. I by sliced I mean butchered. I have never seen the innards of a human body before.
Now let's do a little exercise. I assume most of you have a cell phone, if you don't pick up something about the size of one and place it on the inside of your bicep. That is the size of the gash I am dealing with, I can see his muscles, his veins and a shade of his bone. The one of the inside of his forearm is about half that and the right side of his face has minor cuts and is already bruising.
Good thing I took that first aid course 7 years ago because I really knew what to do.
Pointing at some random kid: 'Go call 911!'
Pointing at some random kid: 'Go get me a fir... oh your puking... ' Changes point : 'You go get me a first aid kit'
Pressure and raise, pressure and raise, pressure and raise, pressure and raise.
See I don't work at some re-re school either. This is a private school with entrance exams and the best education around. This school makes doctors, lawyers, leaders of our country. And this kid is 3 weeks from graduation running into windows.
Sitting on the gym stairs waiting for the ambulance to arrive.
'Jeff, man, I told you to run through the hallway' I say.
'I know, I know, I guess that was pretty stupid running into the window, I used to do it as a kid all the time.' Jeff answers.
I think we just found the problem.
User Reviews
Submitted by wasabi (user info) at 2006-05-27 13:45:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-05-24 11:22:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-05-23 13:05:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-05-23 12:53:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not sure what's going down, I had to write this ass long injury report.
But I think the school wants to sue the window company.
I have witneeses on my end of instructing the kids where to run. Its not like I threw him in the window.
But the family is jewish so the school is expecting a lawsuit.
====
Hahahahahhaha. Jews in Quebec?
===
There are almost 100,000 Jews in Montreal. The Jewish community is pretty big/influential. They invented the famous Montreal bagel and they own Outremont. And they spawned William Shatner.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-05-24 11:18:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahha...oh man
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-05-24 05:27:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-05-24 05:27:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HeHe.
-Dave
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-05-24 03:18:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hilarious story. I hope he's not sustained too much long term damage.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-05-24 03:08:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DrBenway0 (user info) at 2006-05-24 02:41:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
maybe he was a bird in a former life
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-05-23 20:15:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-05-23 17:31:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm frightened for the followers of tommorow.
Submitted by deadgy6 (user info) at 2006-05-23 17:01:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
your the best around! nothins gonna ever keep ya down!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-05-23 15:49:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
how do you say 'you're fired' in Quebecois?
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-05-23 15:06:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
we stopped after four runners.
i was in firsté and window boy time was never recorded.
That was one of his first questions 'what was my time?'
becuase of the ammount of blood and puke on the gym floor the kids in the class got sent home early.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-05-23 14:29:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
way to be competitive.
so did the other kids get timed?
how'd you do in relation to them?
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2006-05-23 13:55:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-05-23 12:05:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
His parents must've been birds.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-05-23 13:11:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-05-23 13:05:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
If they ever see this, they're totally going to say you're a racist and you threw him through the window after calling him a dirty Jew. They'll also say you paid your witnesses off and they're Jew-haters too.
---------
the main witness is black so its not like anyone will believe him...
I'm fucked.
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-05-23 13:05:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-05-23 12:53:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not sure what's going down, I had to write this ass long injury report.
But I think the school wants to sue the window company.
I have witneeses on my end of instructing the kids where to run. Its not like I threw him in the window.
But the family is jewish so the school is expecting a lawsuit.
====
Hahahahahhaha. Jews in Quebec?
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-05-23 13:05:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-05-23 12:53:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not sure what's going down, I had to write this ass long injury report.
But I think the school wants to sue the window company.
I have witneeses on my end of instructing the kids where to run. Its not like I threw him in the window.
But the family is jewish so the school is expecting a lawsuit.
-------
If they ever see this, they're totally going to say you're a racist and you threw him through the window after calling him a dirty Jew. They'll also say you paid your witnesses off and they're Jew-haters too.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-05-23 12:59:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-05-23 12:24:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
What is this class supposed to be teaching them anyway? It's high school so this can't be one of those classes for people who are majoring in NBA or NFL. Do kids still have history and science classes?
Is anyone else concerned that SR may have some kind of influence on young kids?
----------------
Its an option class Sports leadership, teaches kids how to be coaches.
I've been working with kids since I was 13. Or is that I act like a 13 year old kid, I don't remember
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-05-23 12:53:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not sure what's going down, I had to write this ass long injury report.
But I think the school wants to sue the window company.
I have witneeses on my end of instructing the kids where to run. Its not like I threw him in the window.
But the family is jewish so the school is expecting a lawsuit.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-05-23 12:47:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you have Jeff's phone number by any chance?
I'm just askin'.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-05-23 12:42:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've done a lot of stupid things that made me and other people wonder how I've lived this long but I've never run into a window. I did know a guy who rode his little brother's Big Wheel through a huge window in his living room though.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-05-23 12:40:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jeff's mother is going to blame you and the school of course.
lawsuit.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-05-23 12:38:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you are a sub does the teachers union or anyone cover your lawyer fees for when this tard tries to sue?
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-05-23 12:33:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
man i hope that kid was stoned or something.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-05-23 12:33:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-05-23 12:15:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
What was his time?
----------------
I think we can assume since he didn't mention it the kid beat him. And the whole poiont of this post and calling the kid idiot was because he was mad his record was beat.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-05-23 12:30:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-05-23 12:15:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
What was his time?
------
I was hoping someone would ask...
The kid running the event, forgot to start the time...
(I think he beat me though)
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-05-23 12:24:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh dear
Wait until his parents sue you for ordering their kid to run into a window.
What is this class supposed to be teaching them anyway? It's high school so this can't be one of those classes for people who are majoring in NBA or NFL. Do kids still have history and science classes?
just wondering
Is anyone else concerned that SR may have some kind of influence on young kids?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-23 12:16:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-05-23 12:15:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What was his time?
Submitted by samdy (user info) at 2006-05-23 12:11:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Were the walls painted with lead paint? I think he may have eaten a few chips...good idea switching the running course, and thumbs up for first aid!
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-05-23 12:05:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
His parents must've been birds.