some days i love my job (406 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.16 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ser_hag (View user info) at 2006-05-24 07:30:16 EDT
incidents that have brought a smile to my face:
subverting natural selection:
"if she hit you with a hammer, its probably not the best idea to go back over there"
if at first you dont succed, try try again:
"you have a knife stuck in your neck? how did that happen?"
"im trying to kill myself! i did this last night too and they let me go [from the psych ward]"
"somehow, i dont think that is going to be a problem this time"
its just as much fun to fuck with drunks over the phone as it is in real life:
"man, im drunk! im like soooo drunk!"
"do you have an emergency?"
"i dunno man, im just way drunk!"
"youve called 5 times, do you have a problem or not?"
"nah man, im just crazy drunk!"
"ok, check this. if you call again, were going to come out and take you to jail. can you dig that?"
"i can dig it"
no introduction neccesary:
"you have recieved a collect call from the adult detention center. would you like to accept the call from 'please let me outta here'?"
proof that some folks arent smarter than the average bear:
"i heard some gunshots right outside my window and i ran outside to see what was going on"
"..."
following the leader, the leader, the leader:
"this car is going the wrong way down the one way street!"
"okay, whats the address?"
"blah blah address blah...now we are passing blah blah address blah"
"wait a second, are you following them?"
any sympathy i had for you was lost along with all your stuff the first time:
"sob- they broke my window -sob- and took my college books -sob- and my stereo -sob- and my purse -weepweepweep- this is the third time this has happened!"
"-sigh-"
wiggaz unite!:
"why did this guy attack you?"
"yo man, this guy was all up my grill n shit!"
"youre white, you dont have a grill"
you dont always have to fuck her hard, in fact, sometimes thats not right to do:
"so we were having sex, and it was really good sex, but then blood started spraying out of my penis"
"oh dear"
sometimes you gotta make some love, and fuckin give her some smooches too:
"so i paid her for sex, but she wouldnt let me kiss her and now she wont give me my money back"
"okay, sit tight and we will be right over"
User Reviews
Submitted by ser_hag (user info) at 2006-05-24 17:58:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oi...guess my sense of humor is a bit more unique and/or morbid than most.
i didnt put down my profession on purpose, i suppose i just like being obtuse. sue me.
Submitted by JapanFour (user info) at 2006-05-24 15:29:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-05-24 15:15:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-05-24 14:32:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
WEHAT IS YUOUR JOB??????????????????????????
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-05-24 12:49:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You could have let us know that you're a 911 operator somewhere in there, just to save me the trouble of having to go back to the beginning and read it again once I'd figured it out halfway through. This was pretty funny though.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-05-24 12:35:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i smiled.
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2006-05-24 12:28:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I didn't think it was that bad. Not great, but not that bad.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-05-24 08:36:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-05-24 07:42:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-05-24 07:41:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You're getting the hang of this but you still need to do a bit better. Try to go into detail a little more and, I dunno, just do better with the structure.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-05-24 07:36:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I have to admit that I don't know what the fuck you are going on about in this post. But... that doesn't mean it isn't funny, or clever... so I had better not -2 it.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-05-24 07:34:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"i heard some gunshots right outside my window and i ran outside to see what was going on"
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-05-24 07:34:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment