The Three Little Pigs: 2006 Version (601 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.96 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Barometer (View user info) at 2006-05-24 10:16:12 EDT
CASE NO. 06-2408
IN THE UNITED STATES
COURT OF APPEALS FOR THE SIXTH CIRCUIT
Three Little Pigs, et al.,
Plaintiffs-Appellants,
v.
Mr. B. B. Wolf,
Defendant-Appellee.
Plaintiffs Claim:
On the night of April 20, 2006, Mr. Wolf accosted Brian Pig at his home. According to Mr. Pig, Mr. Wolf "demanded entry to my residence, and when he was denied said entry, he huffed and puffed and blew my straw house down." Mr. Pig then fled to his brother's, Mark Pig, home in order to alert law enforcement officials. Mr. Wolf proceeded to follow B. Pig to M. Pig's residence, where he once again demanded entry. When entry was denied, Mr. Wolf destroyed M. Pig's home of sticks. B. Pig and M. Pig then fled to the home of Robert Pig, the third brother. Again, Mr. Wolf followed them and demanded entry to R. Pig's residence. Again he was denied, but this time Mr. Wolf was unable to gain access through past means. He then traversed to the top of the home and tried to enter via the chimney. There was a pot of stew cooking and Mr. Wolf suffered 2nd and 3rd degree burns over 70% of his body. Plaintiffs are seeking reparations in the amount of $2.45 million dollars to rebuild 2 destroyed homes and for mental anguish as a result of Mr. Wolf's rampage.
Defendant's Counter-claim:
Mr. Wolf seeks reparations in the amount of $21 million for medical bills and wages lost for the Pig Brothers' negligence in leaving a fire and boiling pot in the fireplace when it was evident he was trying to access the residence via the chimney.
Ruling:
Due to the glaring negligence on the part of the Pig Brothers, the court rules in favor of Mr. Wolf in the amount of $21 million for medical bills, therapy, and wages lost.
User Reviews
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-05-25 09:46:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-05-24 13:59:33 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2006-05-24 12:35:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
This was actually pretty good for a first post. Certainly better then most of the shit being posted lately.
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Everything you ever wanted to know about no1hasdis
User id: 23616
Registered on or around: 2005-11-28 16:58:24
# Messages posted: 0
# Reviews written: 114
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 0
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Average rating of all messages: 0.00
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who the fuck are you?
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-05-25 00:58:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-05-24 14:15:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/81632
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-05-24 14:07:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 decent first post.
Woo!
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-05-24 13:59:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2006-05-24 12:35:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
This was actually pretty good for a first post. Certainly better then most of the shit being posted lately.
-------------------------
Everything you ever wanted to know about no1hasdis
User id: 23616
Registered on or around: 2005-11-28 16:58:24
# Messages posted: 0
# Reviews written: 114
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 0
# Hits: 0
Average rating of all messages: 0.00
------------------------
who the fuck are you?
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2006-05-24 12:35:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was actually pretty good for a first post. Certainly better then most of the shit being posted lately.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-24 11:13:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There have been worse first posts. Welcome to Uber.
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-05-24 11:08:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Was the 420 on purpose?
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-05-24 10:56:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I got that email too
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-05-24 10:56:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GREEN JELLY. AWESOME SONG BITCHES!
Submitted by barometer (user info) at 2006-05-24 10:55:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by gonefiguring (user info) at 2006-05-24 10:54:53 (#)
Ranking: -1
Saw an incredibly similar thing in an email a couple days/weeks/years ago.
__________________________
then find it, becuase this is mine. If I accidentaly did such a thing, I will whip myself accordingly.
Submitted by gonefiguring (user info) at 2006-05-24 10:54:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Saw an incredibly similar thing in an email a couple days/weeks/years ago.
Submitted by karates_badboy (user info) at 2006-05-24 10:52:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Best post I've read on uber in a very long time.
congratu-fucking-lations, man-oh-schevitz.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-05-24 10:43:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now see if that had been me I'd have just leapt out of my wheelchair and danced like Michael Jackson, thus winning both the case and the presidency.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-05-24 10:43:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
aw hell, I laughed
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-05-24 10:42:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
sounds about right. i was waiting for one of them to be jay pig.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-05-24 10:37:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Can I borrow a couple of grand? I'm heading out of town this weekend.
Submitted by hyprspacd (user info) at 2006-05-24 10:31:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It was a solid 0 until the ruling went in favor of Mr. Wolf.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-05-24 10:29:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
And a +1 for the very subtle 420 reference.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-05-24 10:28:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by barometer (user info) at 2006-05-24 10:26:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry, not an email foward. I put, literally, 5 minutes into this!
I missed the J. Pig...dammit
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Not an email = adjustment to the 0 it deserves.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-05-24 10:27:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Green Jelly: 3 little pigs
this song rules...as much as a 3 little pig song can
Submitted by barometer (user info) at 2006-05-24 10:26:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry, not an email foward. I put, literally, 5 minutes into this!
I missed the J. Pig...dammit.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-05-24 10:25:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This would be even sweeter if if was an email forward. You could have at least changed one of the names to J. Pig.