Post-pouri . . . what are we on? 3? Call it 3. (756 hits)
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Submitted by Teephphah (View user info) at 2006-05-24 13:50:49 EDT
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:
I regret to inform you that both of the urinals in the 12th Floor Men's Room are considered "public property" and therefore your attempts to "mark your territory" are inevitably going to prove fruitless. "A" for effort though. Seriously.
With this thought in mind, I think I can safely speak for all other men working and visiting the 12th Floor Men's Room when I say that we would ALL appreciate tremendously if you would stop peeing ALL OVER the urinals. It's not that we have anything against you personally, it's just your urine . . . we don't really like looking at it or being forced into its close proximity. No offense intended.
By the way, sort of off the subject, you may want to consider drinking more water. The color is supposed to be a little lighter than what you're producing. Just sort of a heads-up there, but you may want to consult your doctor.
Back to the matter at hand however, if you have some sort of medical or psychological condition that prevents you from peeing ALL OVER the urinals when you find yourself standing before one, might I humbly suggest you try sitting down in one of the toilet stalls that the Building Management has so thoughtfully provided? It may not be as "macho" or as efficient as using a urinal, but based on the condition of the bathroom over the past couple of weeks, I think this option will be in EVERYONE'S best interest.
Thank you, sincerely, for your time and attention this matter and also for your anticipated cooperation in this endeavor. I know that working together, we can make the 12th Floor Men's Room Experience one that all of us can enjoy in harmonious (and most importantly, sanitary) unity.
Very Truly Yours,
Lahteephphah Lavonda "Re-Re" Kravitz
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ALL IN ALL IT'S JUST ANOTHER MEXICAN OVER THE WALL
What I'm trying to figure out now is whether or not this whole immigration thing is a real issue or not. Regardless of political party, it will probably be the major issue in the upcoming elections. So . . . does it really matter? Really? Is it something that we really truly do need to solve RIGHT NOW, or is it just something that they are going to talk about in LOUD VOICES until the election is over and then do nothing?
Because I'm so desensitized and over informed (and yet still clueless) that I don't even know anymore if it really matters.
I hear that the economy will collapse if we kick them out. I hear that if we legalize them, then employers will be forced to pay them minimum wage and then the price of lettuce will go up to $5.00 a head. I hear that WE ARE ALL IMMIGRANTS HERE except for the Native Americans, and technically even THEY came over across the land-bridge in Alaska.
I live pretty close to the Barrio, or at least Omaha's version of it, and what I've found is that I generally like Mexicans. From what I've SEEN of them, they tend to be hard working and family oriented. Then again, back when my wife and I actually had an apartment IN the barrio, or at least Omaha's version of it, I saw a lot of the handiwork of Surrenos 13. I miss our old neighborhood gang sometimes. When I leave for work in the morning and the CD player is still in my car and the tires on my wife's car have not been slashed, I recollect fondly the times we spent with "Sur 13." Good times. Good times.
But more than anything else, I get the feeling that this whole thing is just a bunch of smoke and mirrors and that NO ONE on either party intends to do anything but pay it lip service. And I get the feeling that that's a bad thing.
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I JUST WANT TO HELP THE LITTLE CHILDRENS!!!!!!!
Doodles posted something earlier about a married couple being arrested for raping their ONE DAY OLD baby (presumably while they were still in the hospital after giving birth the poor kid). I couldn't bring myself to click on the link to see whether or not the article he/she cited was for real, but I'm going to assume that it is legit. Because the only person sick enough to make shit like that up is Vermin, and also I just know that there are people out there that are that sick.
And I want to kill them all.
So that's something I'm considering.
Well, let me backtrack a bit. There may be some necessary back-story. Probably not. I tend to ramble aimlessly.
Anyway. I've bitched on here maybe once or twice about how completely and utterly I hate my job.
I hate my job.
So I've been doing the yuppie ennui/generalized malaise thing for about two years now, wondering "what else is out there." My résumé is pretty good. I've got skillz that should, theoretically, travel. So what else could I be doing to pay the billz which I might actually enjoy?
I'm looking at two options: Vigilante Justice and some other "help the childrens" thing.
Obviously, vigilante justice is the first choice. You get to have cool weapons and a bad attitude and you get to administer justice to ne'er-do-wells who do things like rape one day old babies. That's cool.
The problem is that I think a vigilante justice career takes a whole lot of starter capital that I just don't have.
You've got to finance the research and development of all those aforementioned cool gadgets; you've got to at least put down a sizable down payment on your fortress of solitude, or cave of loneliness, or what-have-you, but honestly you're probably going to be better off buying it outright, because if you're bringing bad guys back to your lair to torture and interrogate, you REALLY do not what some crazy landlord coming in to check on the water-heater, you know.
Beyond that, you'll need at least one armored vehicle and with gas prices the way they are . . .
So, yeah, I've got SOME money stashed away for a rainy day, but I don't think I'm anywhere near what I'd need.
MAYBE if I tapped into the 401(k) . . . but then . . . wait . . . no. That won't work because with the penalties for early withdrawals and the taxes . . . wouldn't be worth it until I hit . . . sixty or so . . . and then I won't be in any shape to go slutting my way around town in a suit made of spandex and rubber anyway.
So that leaves the "some other 'help the childrens' thing" thing.
Technically I'm a lawyer, right? There should be some sort of child advocacy group around here somewhere I could help out with, right? I wonder if they'd pay me. If they would, I wonder if whatever they would pay me would be worth cashing the check. I wonder if that even matters.
I don't know. Ever since I've had kids of my own, I've just felt "called" (for lack of a less cheesily Christian word) to help these kids who are shit on. Sometimes I feel like a lame Sally Struthers impersonator but when you talk about kids being hurt, I don't really care if it makes me the REAL Sally Struthers. It hurts me to think about and I want to help them and (on a less noble level) I want to make the people who hurt them suffer.
But I'm afraid that the way the system is, I wouldn't be able to do either. And I'm not sure how that would feel. I know when I was interning with a local judge, I watched the mother of a child that had been molested by the father beg the judge not to sentence the man to hard time because she thought her kids needed a father around the house . . . how do you deal with that on a daily basis?
Maybe you just buck up and do it for the kids you can help. I don't know . . .
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TATTOOS OF UBER MARK # I DON'T KNOW
This is probably a mistake but . . .
All homages to the greatness of Rad1101 aside, it's time for a new tattoo. I set myself a personal goal a while back and promised myself a new tattoo as a reward for its completion. It looks like my goal is going to be achieved sometime in the near future. A week or so probably.
So that means that it is time for me to get off my ass and figure out what I want to have permanently etched into my skin.
This is not something I'm entirely comfortable with. My first (and only) tattoo was something highly personal and about which I contemplated for TWO YEARS before I finally had the work done.
And while I have ideas for tattoos that I've had swirling about in my mind as things I want to get someday, none of those seem to be particularly well suited to the accomplishment of the goal I have set.
I guess what it boils down to is that where my previous tattoo commemorates one of those MAJOR life events, the event I have upcoming is very small when placed on that scale . . . so accordingly, the tattoo I would be contemplating would be likewise small and semi-insignificant.
You know how people get those sailor stars or sparrows or lotus flowers or cherry blossoms or crap like that just basically to fill in space and without any real meaningful significance? I guess that's kind of what I'd be looking for.
But then I think, "Damn, now that's just stupid." But then I think, "So?" And then I think, "Touché."
IN GENERAL, I think that a tattoo should have a very important personal meaning. I view getting them as almost a spiritual act. Corny as that sounds.
Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is that I'm thinking of getting "HA HA RABBIT" with picture on my left shoulder-blade. Right over my heart.
I've been thinking about it and I'm pretty sure that's one I won't regret.
User Reviews
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-06-01 14:37:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wookie - Yeah, that book was the ONLY place I've been able to find the original Grigley graphics anywhere online. Now if someone could just put the John Schultes (H-Street) clown graphic up somewhere.
Hmmmmm. Grigley mask. Schultes clown. BRUTE!'S UAIOE cover. Spitfire guy.
I seem to have a real affinity for psychotic faces.
What's THAT about?
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2006-06-01 14:16:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-05-30 15:44:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know if you've ever seen this before, but I found it and I think it's pretty cool. I thought you might appreciate it.
http://www.disposablethebook.com
Check out the Galleries portion. Not broken down by company or skater, but rather by the artists who did the graphics, which is kind of inconvenient, but still . . . . looks like a pretty cool book.
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Oh wow man. That book is awesome! I knew nothing about it, so thanks for bringing it to my attention.
Despite all the ridicule and scorn I can remember people casting about over choosing a board "just for its graphics," I've always maintained that you can't separate the art from the deck...the artwork may not be as important to the ride as wheel base and length and concave and all that good stuff, but it definitely completes the overall package, you know? Same thing with music. I think I remember you writing once that BRUTE!'s cover art is what got you into KMFDM, and I think one of the most lamentable things about downloading music and individual songs is the loss of the artwork that goes hand in hand with lp's and cd's...even cassettes for that matter.
Anyway, I'm definitely going to pick up that book. If you haven't seen them yet, Indy just put out an awesome book called Built to Grind, and Thrasher just put out a 25th anniversary book that rocks too.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-05-31 15:22:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAAHAH A LAWYER WITH A TATOO.
AHAHAHAHAH
REBEL!
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-05-25 01:14:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-05-24 20:22:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Loki, how many times must we go over this, it's Prince Albert not Prince William.
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2006-05-24 20:12:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ALL IN ALL IT'S JUST ANOTHER MEXICAN OVER THE WALL
that was funny...yours or did you steal it...now...i will never
sing that song correctly again!!
I just went solo. I am stressed but my life is my own, kindof
I was amazed at how many people bring me cash..I carried 3K around
all weekend. Hope I don't get jacked in the walmart parking lot.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-05-24 16:35:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe the urinal guy has a Prince William or maybe his mama taught him how to pee. I don't know how you guys deal with those things on a daily basis anyway.
You could become a child advocate lawyer or a civil rights lawyer like the guy in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, but skinnier.
or just become a tall, skinny pirate with two kids and a wife to support
I have no idea what to do about the immigration policy. Maybe we should do a citizen swap with Mexico. They send us Pedro who wants to work and we send him some of those ghetto fubu people who don't want to work anyway so what the fuck difference does it make if they end up in a place with 75% unemployment.
Wow holy shit, sometimes the voices in my head make me type things that are just wildly inappropriate.
se habla verdad
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-05-24 16:29:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm still on drugs. But I think I may need to up the dosage.
Haven't been sleeping well, so it could be a sleep deprivation thing. I don't know.
Psycho Stix had a pretty good shape if you could get past the Godawful graphics.
T-Bones. The giant Powell wheels were T-bones.
I think I may go with the Grigley face. I'm liking the idea more and more.
Don't know where to put it though.
Hmmmmm. . . . tongue?
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-05-24 15:55:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you on drugs?
or
Should I say, are you off drugs?
Anyway, Vision PsychoStick, Indy trucks and Those big ass blue Bones Brigade wheels
what can I say man, it was a present
I quickly switched though to a Jesse Martinez, Indy trucks, and Gizmos
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-05-24 15:09:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-05-24 14:53:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bless you Brother Teeph.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-05-24 14:46:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SORRY BUT I LIKE TO COAT YOUR BATHROOM FLOOR IN URINAL GOODNESS SO THE GROUTING BETWEEN THE LITTLE TILES FLOWS LIKE THE GREAT NORTH LAKES.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2006-05-24 14:27:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh man, mine was one of the originals in the Roskopp 1-3 series, with Indy's and some type of Powell wheels. I've still never ridden anything but Indy's.
But I had that same clear grip tape. I remember not having any thumb prints and the hunks of skin that you could see in the grit.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-05-24 14:15:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That Grigley logo was a bitch to find, Wook. That's the original - not the mini or the later re-vamped one with all the swirls and, you know, detail.
First board I ever had. <weeps>. Gullwing trucks and Santa Cruz Bullet (not Bullet 66s) wheels. Clear Grip-tape that, in sandpaper terms would have been about 4 grit. It made me bleed a lot.
That right there is where it all started.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-05-24 14:15:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The only thing I have learned about the whole immigrant nonsense io how much I hate Mexico.
Pres fox says he thinks walls are wrong and we shouldn't have one for immigrants. Mexico has a wall to keep immigrants out.
Some fucking hot shot Mexican director at Cannes is condemning the US's immigration policy and enforcers as being too harsh. Mexican federalies systimatically rob and rape illegal immigrants, nevermind the number murdered by gangs. Fuck mexico, fuck it in its stupid ass.
As for the children BS, I don't know what type of black belt you have in law but couldn't you do some volounteer grunt paperwork type stuff?
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2006-05-24 14:11:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
John Grigley on uber... who woulda thunk? Now you just have to dig up some old Roskopp graphics.
I've got a couple of throw-away tattoos...actually, that's sort of what that Abe Lincoln started out as. I've got a completely meaningless Frankenstein head with a third eye that I'm rather fond of as well.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-05-24 14:09:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
someone in my building put up signs in the ladies room with illustrated steps on how to flush the toilet. True story. At the bottom it says "It's sad that this sign even has to be hung." Also there are certified booger-flickers among the ranks of women in my office apparently.
Ha ha professionalism.
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-05-24 14:07:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good title though... if you meant it the way I read it.
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-05-24 14:06:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
yeah... wtf is up with that urinal problem? If it's a bar, it's understandable... but fuck man, it's like right in front of you, how the fuck do you manage to piss all over the wall?
oh... and...
THAT BUNNY HAS A PANCAKE ON ITS HEAD.
mmmmMMMMmMmMMmmMMMMmmmmm... pancackes.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-05-24 14:03:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll take Potpourri for $300, Alex...
Submitted by swine_powered_hate_machine (user info) at 2006-05-24 14:02:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Pssht. I'm not sure what's wrong with you, but it's probably hard to pronounce.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2006-05-24 14:01:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
If you want, e-mail me some ideas, and I can either come up with a concept for your tat or draw you something. mygnnss123.at.gmail.com
Due to the whole artist thing, everyone whore's me out to design their tat's, so why should you be any different?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-05-24 14:01:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment