I am...in a world...of SHIT! (1515 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.47 on 79 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sassmasterr (View user info) at 2006-05-25 12:46:49 EDT
Well...everybody's gotta grow up sometime, right?
<sigh>
User Reviews
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-05-29 00:12:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
come on. its crazy easy to figure out when the hit it without a rubber.
no skill...
but congrats anyways!
Submitted by vexx (user info) at 2006-05-27 14:14:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't girls know when they're ovulating? Why hit it raw-dog during that time of the month? I'm confused.
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2006-05-27 09:52:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Cool, so who is the father?
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2006-05-27 09:42:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah, pretty much disowned.
gotta bite the bullet on this one.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-05-26 12:55:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
have you told your family yet? from what i've read of yours, you'll get disowned.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2006-05-26 12:47:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
we've both got help in our families.
i have no doubt that i'll be a good father. i'm mentally ready (so i think) it's just the financial part...
i shouldn't be getting high on my lunch break.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-05-26 12:42:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
seriosuly though, all the kid needs is to be born to parents who are barely ready to take care of themselves, let alone a baby.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-05-26 12:41:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahahahaha
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-05-26 12:33:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what's 70% of zero?
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-05-26 12:32:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Think thats bad??
Wait till she leaves your ass and takes 70% of your paycheck.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-05-26 11:48:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you are so fucked!
or were...
or wait... you did, and now you are...
how does that even work?
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-05-26 11:46:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i cant believe people are saying congrats. its like people saying congrats when you trip and fall and break your fucking leg. except in that case, the leg heals and the problem goes away after a few months. YOU ARE FUCKED.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2006-05-26 11:33:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
yep.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-05-26 11:20:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Anyways, I think that because of the title, you might find this link amusing:
http://www.motherrussia.cc/main_files/VHC%20private%20pyle%20pic.jpg
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-05-26 11:06:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SHIT, RYUFU!!! I'M GONNA FUCKING SLIT YOUR THROAT!!!
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-05-26 11:05:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You're pregnant?
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2006-05-26 11:02:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You're pregnant? I thought you were a dude...
(how many people replied similarly before me?)
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-05-26 10:59:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-05-26 09:26:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The Hoff Has Spoken.
Potential methods of egress.
Meh-hick-co
Ecuador
Cuba Cuba
Swizzerland.
All of these places will reject an extradition request I think
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-05-26 07:43:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your life is over.
Good luck though. GO TRIBE!
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-05-26 04:33:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-05-25 20:18:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:52:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by gonefiguring (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:49:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
I guess it doesn't need any more rape. <----------------------------------------------------
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aaaahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
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Quite possibly one of the best reviews I've ever read1
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
+1 for you, another point for making me laugh at the comment above...
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-05-26 04:27:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:47:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
Flushing Life Down Toilet Auto +2
--
Hahahahaha.
Submitted by toni_tori (user info) at 2006-05-26 00:29:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry. Forgot to rate.
Submitted by toni_tori (user info) at 2006-05-26 00:28:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
congratulations. You have so much to look foward to. My advice is this:
When potty-training, scrub the shit murals off the wall right away, or it will stick forever. And when junior is being an ass at the store, just tell people he's autistic. They'll leave you alone. Tried and true, my friend.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-05-25 20:18:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:52:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by gonefiguring (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:49:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
I guess it doesn't need any more rape.
---------------
aaaahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
-------------------------
Quite possibly one of the best reviews I've ever read1
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-05-25 20:17:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i watched full metal jacket yesterday.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-05-25 19:56:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MIni-sass?
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2006-05-25 19:55:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
wait what? oh OOOOkay... I get it.
+1 for the better than average FMJ references
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-05-25 19:43:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
another American in the world....great
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-05-25 19:22:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mate she peed on that thing, put it down
Congratulations
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-05-25 18:46:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoah..
If I remember correctly.. your parents are almost as conservative as mine.. Good luck, and if you want advice/want to commiserate.. although my circumstances were slightly different, I went through it and have been raising my daughter for 8 years...
Submitted by dr_weazel (user info) at 2006-05-25 18:41:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HAHA, SUCKER!
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-05-25 18:36:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck!
Funny that this song was playing on the radio when I opened your post.
All he could think about was I'm too young for this.
Got my whole life ahead.
Hell I'm just a kid myself.
How'm I gonna raise one.
All he could see were his dreams goin' up in smoke.
So much for ditchin' this town and hangin' out on the coast.
Oh well, those plans are long gone.
[Chorus:]
And he said,
There goes my life.
There goes my future, my everything.
Might as well kiss it all good-bye.
There goes my life.......
A couple years of up all night and a few thousand diapers later.
That mistake he thought he made covers up the refrigerator.
Oh yeah..........he loves that little girl.
Momma's waiting to tuck her in,
As she fumbles up those stairs.
She smiles back at him dragging that teddy bear.
Sleep tight, blue eyes and bouncin' curls.
[Chorus:]
He smiles.....
There goes my life.
There goes my future, my everything.
I love you, daddy good-night.
There goes my life.
She had that Honda loaded down.
With Abercrombie clothes and 15 pairs of shoes and his American Express.
He checked the oil and slammed the hood, said you're good to go.
She hugged them both and headed off to the West Coast.
[Chorus:]
And he cried,
There goes my life.
There goes my future, my everything.
I love you.
Baby good-bye.
There goes my life.
There goes my life.
Baby good-bye.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2006-05-25 17:54:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is my rifle.
There are many like it, but this one is mine.
Without me, my rifle is nothing.
Without my rifle, the bitch wouldn't be up the duff.
Now you get to sell your motorcycle and buy a Volvo.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-05-25 16:39:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
At least you know your bollocks work.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-05-25 16:10:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*plays the "failure horns" from The Price is Right*
But hey, now you're going to have a Feety too!
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-05-25 15:54:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good Luck!
I have a whole 18 weeks experience of pregnancy- I'm an expert, so let me know if you need any advice!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-05-25 15:47:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2006-05-25 15:31:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:47:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
Flushing Life Down Toilet Auto +2
===================================================================================================
Auto "Your life is over" +2
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-05-25 15:47:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sympathy +2 because it sucks to be you.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2006-05-25 15:31:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS MICKEY MOUSE HORSE SHIT? PRIVATE PYLE, WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION?
Congrats though.
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2006-05-25 15:31:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:47:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
Flushing Life Down Toilet Auto +2
===================================================================================================
Auto "Your life is over" +2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-05-25 14:26:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and here's the +2 in case you meant for that to happen.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-05-25 14:25:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
that's completely correctable ya know.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-05-25 14:13:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BFP
Big Fat Positive.
So how far along is she?
Ready for the joys of morning sickness?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-05-25 14:12:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Michael Jackson is going to come kick your ass now for sure.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-05-25 14:07:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hey if you guys aren't keeping that can you mail it to me?
what?
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-05-25 13:59:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and there you have it
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-05-25 13:46:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sassman......oh......shit.
Good God....
congrats?
Submitted by street-pirate (user info) at 2006-05-25 13:38:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Have a sympathy +2.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-05-25 13:32:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-05-25 13:18:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
oh Congrats! and..... me too.
--------------------------------
It's true! Badassmofo knocked her up! I have video footage!
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-05-25 13:29:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You're going to eat the placenta, right?
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2006-05-25 13:21:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
David, I'm calling you right now, and you'd better answer your phone
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-05-25 13:18:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh Congrats! and..... me too.
i photographed all 5 of my pee sticks.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-05-25 13:18:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:53:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
mixed emotions.
glad to have a kid.
not glad to have it now.
life...she is a bitch.
--------------------------
A bitch that should have swallowed. :p
Congrats, and good luck with that kid thing...you're gonna need it.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-05-25 13:18:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that's a nice way to start off the baby's life.
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-05-25 13:10:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It'll work out.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-05-25 13:05:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2006-05-25 13:00:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Go wash your hands,there's traces of urine all over them. Dirty Bitch.
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I KNOW! How gross is that?! And yet my wife insists on putting the fucking thing in a damned scrap-book!
I'm liek, "Honey, you PEED on this, people don't want to look at it." And she's all, "Its just for us, other people don't have to see it." And then I'm all like, "*I* don't really want to look at it. You PEED on it!" And she's all liek, "SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP OH WHY WON'T YOU JUST SHUT UP?!"
So then I'm all like, "Fine."
And then she's all like, "Fine."
And five hours later I apologize and tell her I love it.
Whoo-pah! (That's the sound a whip makes) =(
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-05-25 13:05:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well the way I see it you've got a few choices you can:
a) kick the bitch right in the cunt next time you see her and its all taken care of
b) have the child but immediatly sell it on the black market
c) join me in my fun of making lists today
d) blame it on the next mexican you see claiming 'ALL YOU BEAN EATERS ARE IN CAHOOTZ!!'
e) suck it up and stop fucking whining to uber that you don't use condems or know the Catholic Method of birth control
f) grow up
g) call INS and get her spic ass deported
h) combination of a) and g)
i) combination of b) and d)
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2006-05-25 13:03:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:58:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
Where do you want me to send the rusty coat hangar?
Haha, I kid, I kid
congrats.
Unless you really need a rusty coat hangar? You sure? Ok...
---
i told my friends the news a day before my birthday party.
my buddy got me a present the next day...
a box full of old wire hangers.
it was pretty funny.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2006-05-25 13:00:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:58:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't worry man, I've seen you and if its that hot blonde bitch there's a 67% chance that its not yours
-------
nope. the crazy puerto rican.
goodbye fun single life.
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2006-05-25 13:00:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Go wash your hands,there's traces of urine all over them. Dirty Bitch.
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:58:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
shit...forgot to rate
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:58:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:51:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:49:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
When are you due?
Don't worry dude, kids rock.
Assumning you're in a good relationship and a good job and have all that financial crap worked out.
Because if you don't. HOLY SHIT.
MAN!
I don't even want to THINK about how much THAT would suck.
----
no. still in a big ol' hole of debt.
th-thanks...for that.
----------------------------
Where do you want me to send the rusty coat hangar?
Haha, I kid, I kid
congrats.
Unless you really need a rusty coat hangar? You sure? Ok...
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:58:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You do know what causes that....don't you?
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:58:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't worry man, I've seen you and if its that hot blonde bitch there's a 67% chance that its not yours
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:57:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yep, you sure are.
YOUR life is over. it will be all about theirs...forever. :-)
but hey, enjoy yourself. they're cute, cuddly, snuggly little creatures for a while.
then they become teenagers.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:54:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:49:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
When are you due?
Don't worry dude, kids rock.
Assumning you're in a good relationship and a good job and have all that financial crap worked out.
Because if you don't. HOLY SHIT.
MAN!
I don't even want to THINK about how much THAT would suck.
==========================================================
It's funny 'cause it's true.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:53:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
mixed emotions.
glad to have a kid.
not glad to have it now.
life...she is a bitch.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:53:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
do the right thing. ABORT
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:52:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by gonefiguring (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:49:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
I guess it doesn't need any more rape.
---------------
aaaahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:51:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:49:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
When are you due?
Don't worry dude, kids rock.
Assumning you're in a good relationship and a good job and have all that financial crap worked out.
Because if you don't. HOLY SHIT.
MAN!
I don't even want to THINK about how much THAT would suck.
----
no. still in a big ol' hole of debt.
th-thanks...for that.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:50:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats?
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:50:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good luck.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:50:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hell, I didn't know there wwere hermaphrodites on uber!
Submitted by hyprspacd (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:49:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:47:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
Flushing Life Down Toilet Auto +2
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:49:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When are you due?
Don't worry dude, kids rock.
Assumning you're in a good relationship and a good job and have all that financial crap worked out.
Because if you don't. HOLY SHIT.
MAN!
I don't even want to THINK about how much THAT would suck.
Submitted by gonefiguring (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:49:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I guess it doesn't need any more rape.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:48:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know whether you're bummed or happy.
I'm happy for you?
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-05-25 12:47:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Flushing Life Down Toilet Auto +2