It could have happened this way... (549 hits)
Category: Business & FinancialRating: 1.3 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by EL-EM-EN-OH (View user info) at 2006-05-26 12:21:17 EDT
Once upon a time this company set out to create a new line of men's fragrances in the form of body sprays, deodorants and aftershave/colognes. They brainstormed for months and field tested hundreds of possible formulas searching for that one single scent that would drive women crazy and keep men coming back for more.
Finally they found success and handed the whole package over to the marketing department to develop a name and an advertising campaign to launch the new product. After a few more weeks of product testing and random blind studies at shopping malls, a name for the product seemed to just fall into their lap. Nearly every man who tried the new body spray stated initially, "I must ask...what is this fine product." or "Let me ask you this one question..." The answer became clear with each test subject; the product will be called simply "ASK™".
A clever advertising campaign was assembled and a label design was created. New types of spray cans were developed to catch the attention of the technologically advanced men of the demographic and the product went into production. ASK™ for men in a large array of slightly different but yet all the same scents were sent out to all the drug stores and grocery markets nationwide. Each different but similar scent had its own name, like Voodoo™ and Head Hunter™ to give them more of a masculine he man draw power.
After weeks, only certain regions, usually urban and poor were showing any sales and it seemed more of it was being stolen than sold. What was interesting was that the product, although directed toward the 18-25 year old white professional males was becoming quite popular among African American males and disappeared off the shelves in those neighborhoods. The company quickly pulled the product and sent the entire project back to the drawing board.
As this was happening, the brothers continued to search for the product they so became enamored with. Every local urban store that carried ASK™ was inundated with Black customers demanding to know where the AXE body spray was. They even commissioned literate help to send letters asking to please put AXE back on the market! Finally the Reverend Al Sharpton stepped up and accused the company of racism and product profiling and he and Jesse Jackson began their own campaign to get "AXE" back on da market.
The company listened. After more laboratory testing on monkeys it was found the scent they first had chosen as the new scent of the up and coming white affluent male turned out to be an afro deeshillac and drove black crack whores absolutely wild with passion. The product was repackaged and renamed (for recognition purposes) and the rest is history! Sure, they still lose more to theft than they earn in sales, but at least they have Sharpton and Jackson off their backs!
User Reviews
Submitted by jeveuxgagner (user info) at 2006-10-25 08:29:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hey dude: you gave me an "accidental" -2. I was going to "accidentally retaliate" because i'm a dick, but this was ok.
Submitted by Sockster (user info) at 2006-06-09 01:48:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-05-26 18:28:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
this is disrespectful towards others
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-05-26 18:23:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
oh, i just got it, lol
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2006-05-26 18:06:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by BrownEyedGirrl (user info) at 2006-05-26 16:38:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
don't wear it if you don't mean what??
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-05-26 15:28:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sweet Jesus, now that's just not right.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-05-26 15:15:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-26 13:44:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
har har
Submitted by street-pirate (user info) at 2006-05-26 13:29:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by street-pirate (user info) at 2006-05-26 13:29:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-05-26 13:01:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
i hate that stuff. my old roomate would spray it and stink up the whole house so i would secretly dip his toothbrush in the shitter. :)
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That's just not right.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-05-26 13:14:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-05-26 13:06:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is the young black male version of the patchouli that hippies assault us with, only it smells worse.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-05-26 13:01:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i hate that stuff. my old roomate would spray it and stink up the whole house so i would secretly dip his toothbrush in the shitter. :)
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-05-26 12:41:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-05-26 12:30:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
i noticed that people who wear axe are usually niggers who don't shower after working out
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Well the only shower the French get are the golden variety. Saddly you're French Canadian, but that insult will have to do.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-05-26 12:33:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Axe: The new Puerto Rican shower.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-05-26 12:30:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i noticed that people who wear axe are usually niggers who don't shower after working out
Submitted by nya_nyo (user info) at 2006-05-26 12:26:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 auto ebonics reference
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-05-26 12:24:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny