One of the Worst things I've Ever Heard Said (1443 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Goodness
Rating: 1.34 on 47 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by goferforhire <goferforhire.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2006-05-27 21:52:54 EDT
But it's hilarious. I apologize for the shortness. But this comment was too good/bad to pass up.
I was sitting in front of the counter at the Apple store getting my new I-pod fixed (call me a consumer whore, I don't give a rat's ass) and talking to the technician about how I'd screwed the thing up. Also at the counter was an elderly Jewish couple (not but so elderly, something like mid 50s I guess) who were discussing one of their younger friends.
Apparently, this younger friend has had a great deal of trouble with her womb- something in the neighborhood of 6 miscarriages (they couldn't make up their minds on how many) and one or two husbands. After a while of calling her a hussy and typical old people insults, the Jewish lady comes out and says-
"Her uterus has killed more Jews than the concentration camps."
That's really about it. I laughed my ass of as soon as I was out of earshot. Here's a picture of me for good listening skills.
User Reviews
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-09-05 13:30:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm +2ing all your posts as a sign of good faith. I just want to show that there is no animosity between us. Friends?
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-06-25 15:02:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you'd only seen them....
They didn't age well. I'm assuming they were in their fifties based on their conversation but they looked older.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-06-25 14:59:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
OK, that was funny.
Seriously though..50s & 'elderly'? Come on now.
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2006-06-25 14:50:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The nazis hid one of their gas chambers in her uterus.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-06-25 14:37:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
if I hadn't said 50 was old I might have gotten a perfect 2 on this. Blast
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-06-20 02:38:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-06-02 09:38:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This post is the closest I've come to 1,000 hits on a single post. Sad, ain't it?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-06-02 02:43:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
who the fuck is this doodles guy?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-06-02 02:43:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thats really funny
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-06-02 01:58:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yea, it's true.
Submitted by JapanFour (user info) at 2006-06-01 22:16:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this was funny as shit. i really hope this is true.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-06-01 22:01:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that's hilarious!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-05-30 17:21:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that's funny
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-05-28 23:44:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-05-28 13:07:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-05-28 06:12:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by tarnation (user info) at 2006-05-28 05:19:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-05-28 00:32:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
Where the fuck do you get one armed? I have to two fully functional appendages jutting out at a horizontal angle from the upper and utter extremities of my torso. I thank you. One of them just has a nasty scar on it.
_______________
"just has a nasty scar"? what happened to: "lost all the muscle it had?" you lying faggot cunt
______________________________________________-
DOn't be a cunt TARNATION he is probably blocking the memory of the night he singlehandedly fought of 40 attackers when he got gangbanged and then I think chuck norris sliced his arm open which made it no good anymore
------------------
Much as I actually like your alterness, georgemichael, I don't approve of Chuck Norris jokes. Almost ever.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-05-28 12:17:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ooooo boy that was fucked up.
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-05-28 06:12:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by tarnation (user info) at 2006-05-28 05:19:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-05-28 00:32:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
Where the fuck do you get one armed? I have to two fully functional appendages jutting out at a horizontal angle from the upper and utter extremities of my torso. I thank you. One of them just has a nasty scar on it.
_______________
"just has a nasty scar"? what happened to: "lost all the muscle it had?" you lying faggot cunt
______________________________________________-
DOn't be a cunt TARNATION he is probably blocking the memory of the night he singlehandedly fought of 40 attackers when he got gangbanged and then I think chuck norris sliced his arm open which made it no good anymore
Submitted by tarnation (user info) at 2006-05-28 05:19:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-05-28 00:32:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
Where the fuck do you get one armed? I have to two fully functional appendages jutting out at a horizontal angle from the upper and utter extremities of my torso. I thank you. One of them just has a nasty scar on it.
_______________
"just has a nasty scar"? what happened to: "lost all the muscle it had?" you lying faggot cunt
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-05-28 04:17:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh. pretty funny. I read the quote first and then the story and I think it worked out better that way. I thought it was just a stupid offhand remark and then I read the context and laughed out loud.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-05-28 04:14:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I went to get a glass of milk and forgot what I was rating. Apparently I thought it deserved a +2.
I smell like shit. I went to the gym and I smell like the free weights. I really dont know how else to describe it. You know that whiff of air you get when you pick up dumbells or something? The metal ones, not rubber? I smell like that.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-05-28 02:44:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-05-28 01:58:39 (#)
Ranking: -1
elderly? fifties?
Kiss my asssssssss
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-05-28 02:30:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
dude, seriously, Royce is fucking insane, I don't know how he didn't tap out. That was 100% PURE PRIDE that kept him from tapping.
I didn't really think Royce would win, but I thought he'd put up a better fight than that.
The fights after that one were great though, some serious damage was done
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-05-28 02:27:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-05-28 02:10:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
Gracie lost.
Badly.
I lost money = (
-----------------------------
Idiot!!!!
i thought hughes was going to tap him with the arm lock, that hurt my arm looking at it.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-05-28 02:10:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Gracie lost.
Badly.
I lost money = (
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-05-28 02:00:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hughes wins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I won money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-05-28 01:58:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
elderly? fifties?
Kiss my asssssssss
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-05-28 01:18:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That's pretty damn funny. Go Jews.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-05-28 01:14:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
why would you feel bad about breaking an undeserved streak? this was mildly funny, but hardly worthy of 18 straight +2's.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-05-28 00:45:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahaha. I wont be the one to break this streak.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-05-28 00:32:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Where the fuck do you get one armed? I have to two fully functional appendages jutting out at a horizontal angle from the upper and utter extremities of my torso. I thank you. One of them just has a nasty scar on it.
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-05-28 00:27:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-05-27 23:25:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-05-27 23:19:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-05-27 22:33:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
However mid 90s... not so much.
Forthewin, you know for about 5 or 6 months in my head I read your name was Forth win(d), don't ask me why, I couldn't tell you.
_______________________________________
Yeah, I know what you mean, that happens with me sometimes. If I would've not been so emo as to not use any upper case letters in my screen name, it probably would've eliminated the confusion.
---
Sure we can blame it on you being an emo artist instead of y being a retard who can't read, in fact, I rather like that idea.
_____________-
FUCK OFF DOODLES YOU IRRELEVANT ONE ARMED GANGBANGING TEENNEESSEE FAGGOT
Submitted by wasabi (user info) at 2006-05-28 00:11:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-05-27 23:25:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-05-27 23:19:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-05-27 22:33:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
However mid 90s... not so much.
Forthewin, you know for about 5 or 6 months in my head I read your name was Forth win(d), don't ask me why, I couldn't tell you.
_______________________________________
Yeah, I know what you mean, that happens with me sometimes. If I would've not been so emo as to not use any upper case letters in my screen name, it probably would've eliminated the confusion.
---
Sure we can blame it on you being an emo artist instead of y being a retard who can't read, in fact, I rather like that idea.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-05-27 23:24:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-05-27 23:22:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-05-27 22:38:14 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd noticed that forthewin... I kinda hoped it might add to my hitcount.
_____________________________________
It also might add to the number of people that generally dislike you. Sorry about that... That reminds me of how much I should post something new. I'm such a lazy bastard. I need to stop doing things in real life and post things on ubersite.
----------
Factor in the fact that I'm Greek, which ties me to Method, and I'm surprised I'm not rolling in hate. I guess that means I rule or something. Yea, you should get back to it.
Have you considered writing a short story continuation of your favorite book? An epilogue for something that didn't have it? I love that.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-05-27 23:22:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-05-27 22:38:14 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd noticed that forthewin... I kinda hoped it might add to my hitcount.
_____________________________________
It also might add to the number of people that generally dislike you. Sorry about that... That reminds me of how much I should post something new. I'm such a lazy bastard. I need to stop doing things in real life and post things on ubersite.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-05-27 23:19:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-05-27 22:33:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-05-27 21:59:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking right, dude, mid-fifties is NOT so old.
---
However mid 90s... not so much.
Forthewin, you know for about 5 or 6 months in my head I read your name was Forth win(d), don't ask me why, I couldn't tell you.
_______________________________________
Yeah, I know what you mean, that happens with me sometimes. If I would've not been so emo as to not use any upper case letters in my screen name, it probably would've eliminated the confusion.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-05-27 23:09:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-05-27 23:01:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-05-27 22:52:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Along that line...
When the Monty Python group was touring Europe years ago they had a chance to visit one of the concentration camps. When they got to Dachau they were told it was too late in the day and it was closing. When he heard that they could not get in Graham Chapman shouted, "Tell them we're Jews!"
---
They were men among pigs that group; I still love the Search for the Holy Grail above any American movie with the possible exception of the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
----
I actually rather prefer Life of Brian. More my style, sacrilege.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-05-27 23:01:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-05-27 22:52:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Along that line...
When the Monty Python group was touring Europe years ago they had a chance to visit one of the concentration camps. When they got to Dachau they were told it was too late in the day and it was closing. When he heard that they could not get in Graham Chapman shouted, "Tell them we're Jews!"
---
They were men among pigs that group; I still love the Search for the Holy Grail above any American movie with the possible exception of the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-05-27 22:52:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Along that line...
When the Monty Python group was touring Europe years ago they had a chance to visit one of the concentration camps. When they got to Dachau they were told it was too late in the day and it was closing. When he heard that they could not get in Graham Chapman shouted, "Tell them we're Jews!"
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-05-27 22:38:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd noticed that forthewin... I kinda hoped it might add to my hitcount.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-05-27 22:33:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-05-27 21:59:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking right, dude, mid-fifties is NOT so old.
---
However mid 90s... not so much.
Forthewin, you know for about 5 or 6 months in my head I read your name was Forth win(d), don't ask me why, I couldn't tell you.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-05-27 22:26:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And your screen name is strangely similar to mine when you glance at it.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-05-27 22:26:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's one of the greatest things I've ever heard.
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2006-05-27 22:00:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-05-27 21:59:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking right, dude, mid-fifties is NOT so old.
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-05-27 21:54:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jews are funny. Just look at Billy Crytal or Eddie Murphy.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-05-27 21:53:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Forgot to attach a picture. There's one here, if you actually care...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/88107