Uber's Greatest Posts #100-76 (?NSFW? Click and find out!) (12268 hits)
Category: Computers & InternetLabels: Uber-related/Bandwagon
Rating: 1.53 on 68 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Axolotl (View user info) at 2006-05-30 10:14:33 EDT
It's the end of the school year, and our classes are nearly over. This is my compilation of my favorite posts on Uber, from the insanely funny to the moving. I tried to stay away from B@W posts, as they're usually more well-known. This is a mostly obscure selection from Uber's past.
Enjoy
===================================
100) Lolocaust, by Degreeless http://www.ubersite.com/m/59497
The very essence of juvenile, immature humor—the perfect post to begin with. Depicting a Nazi gas chamber in ASCII art, Degreeless Capibara outshines himself yet again in mocking Jews and trying to offend as many people as possible. It's truly beautiful.
99) Fuck Nerds, Jocks Get What they Want Because They Earn It, by Chris Evans http://www.ubersite.com/m/54375
The classic and much-parodied post by the original alter, Chris Evans. He explains how athletic kids had to work for everything they get, and how depressing it is to see losers at high-paying jobs while the poor football players work at gas stations. This is one of the posts where the replies are funnier than the actual content.
98) A Peaceful Picture Devoid of Vomitous Peeners, Boarder-line Child Porn,Rude and Insensitive "Beebings", Titties, Blood, Gore, Nudity, Teepees, Flaming Zebras. and General Shanniganery. There is Fusion Though, by Habeeb http://www.ubersite.com/m/70250
Aside from being the greatest title in any Ubersite post, this was one of Habeeb's most masterful works of art. Strangely, there was no peenery, nudity or any controversial art. It was just a peaceful picture devoid of vulgar pornography.
97) I Like to do Drauring, by FilthyAssistant http://www.ubersite.com/m/5241
FilthyAssistant grabs the #97 spot for pure WTF value. It reminds me of the HA! HA! priest. What can I say about this except that it's unreasonably funny?
96) Uberhistory (sex fuck), by ProfessorFuckFace http://www.ubersite.com/m/75308
ProfessorFuckFace demonstrates his knowledge of Uber and its users in the original Uberhistory. Mainly picking on his longtime rival Fetish, Squattail creates a marvelous reference post. This was also the inspiration behind my more in-depth and effective Uberhistory, although his is god also.
95) Hands Down My Pants, by Matt Maiorano http://www.ubersite.com/m/22597
Matt Maiorano in all his glory, describing the whereabouts of his hands. Guess where they are?
94) Coming to America?, by Electro http://www.ubersite.com/m/56231
Electro shows his true bigoted feelings in this rant against immigrants. His post features him "bitch-slapping" a non-English-speaking Russian kid in the face, and urging people to either speak English or Binary. What an all-star! It seems that all his posts feature him "pwning" someone like Koolmang or Method, most likely because he cannot do that in real life.
93) Happy Halloween!, by Bart http://www.ubersite.com/m/50208
Bart's only post on this list, and proof of his major mental disorders. The post stars our site's creator dressed in a schoolgirl costume with fake breasts, standing slack-jawed by a doorway in regal splendor. Now Method has given us new pictures of Bart, this time changing into his pants.
92) A History of Gay Cartoon Characters, by Spooner http://www.ubersite.com/m/65011
Chame and Leon, Chip and Dale, Scooby Doo...what do they have in common? According to Spooner, they are gay homosexuals. Spooner's first, but not last, post on the Greatest Ever list.
91) How to be the Fucking Man on Ubersite, by Razor http://www.ubersite.com/m/31743
Let's take back Ubersite from shitposts! Wait...just one more from Razor. It's okay, he's describing how to get heat! Perfect tutorial for alters and idiots everywhere.
90) The War the World Forgot, by Tom Sorrell http://www.ubersite.com/m/57595
I clicked this expecting to see something touching about Korea, but instead got...I can't ruin the ending. Enjoy.
89) Perspective, by Rawrg http://www.ubersite.com/m/60177
One of the most beautiful photoshops I've ever seen. Rawrg might be nearly gone from Uber, but this, his best post, says it all.
88) Brand New Shlongy!, by Shlongy http://www.ubersite.com/m/73930
There's very few examples where a post with a single picture and no words can be funny, but this is one of them. Shlongy emerges in placental goo from a transvesite's vagina with the all-encompassing caption: here comes the baby. This was part of the Brand New Shlongy series, which I missed.
87) This man will murder YOU!, by Habeeb http://www.ubersite.com/m/72002
One of my favorite posts, EVER. I am fully convinced that this man would murder me any time or any place. I don't know where the Beeb finds these pictures, I don't go around looking for people holding their eyeballs out on strings. This was my background for a while...always appreciated, Habeeb.
86) How Do You Like Your Death?, by Bigmike http://www.ubersite.com/m/76293
Bigmike's classic story of child abuse, from a proud father himself. Don't tell me you didn't try to look up her dress...It's a good story/poem etc.
85) I Think I'm the Man in my Relationship, by Hilarity Ensues http://www.ubersite.com/m/82804
The post itself was shit, but the humor can be found in the argument between Caulaincourt and Tigerlilly that flares up viciously in the reviews. One of the greater flame wars I've witnessed.
84) The Shlongy Dance, by CaptainThorns http://www.ubersite.com/m/64272 -
This is another post where a single picture can create infinite amusement. I believe it's something to do with Beavis and Butt-head, but in any case, the Captain has a success. It was on Best Ever for a while, until G-Prime junked it.
83) Beware the Clitoris Ring, by JMG http://www.ubersite.com/m/26219
Though it's #14 on the MVM, I never considered this especially funny. However, the clit ring shaped like the Ubersite logo has always interested me...it's a worthy read, if you're interested. JMG tells the story of how he caught his tongue up a verjiner, and his quest to extract it.
82) Tijuana Donkey Show (nsfw illegal), by Squattail http://www.ubersite.com/m/36441
Why you would click on anything by Squattail, I don't know. But I did. And I was not disappointed. Click on the link to see some good donkeys in a show! This is Squattail at his hitwhoring prime, unrefined raw talent.
81) All Women are Whores, by Shitfuck http://www.ubersite.com/m/66152
Who says Shitfuck is incapable of pathos or sensitivity? He brings forth his saving message here: if you have a cunt, you are a cunt.
80) A Thing to Do On a Warm Summer's Day (?NSFW?), by Habeeb http://www.ubersite.com/m/69743
Oh my lord...Habeeb's sixth banning came in the form of Hai2u, a picture of a woman vomiting all over some poor bastard's knob. It was a great way to kick off summer, and I remember sitting under the covers reading Ubersite in a small house in a peaceful suburb of Berkeley, California, and clicking open this post and smiling at the humor of Beeb...ah...Still a bit gross. Excuse my sentimentality.
79) Rape: Get the Fuck Over It, by SpiralAbraxis http://www.ubersite.com/m/48249
This isn't particularly funny, nor meaningful...who am I kidding, this is a perfect example of trolling, from one of the best trolls on Ubersite. As a total rebuttal to Lojope's rape post, this helped to inspire the rapemadness phenomenon.
78) Fallujah Footage, by ProfessorFuckFace http://www.ubersite.com/m/51629
There are a few things that make me laugh out loud, and PFF's chronicle of the Battle of Fallujah is one of them. Surprisingly, it's not as offensive as I expected, coming from him. This is a brilliant example of an intelligent shitpost.
77) Troubles of a Teen, by Immygirl14 http://www.ubersite.com/m/51863
A classic from one of my favorite alters, Immygirl14. The idea behind her was that she was a thirteen-year-old black girl who kept getting raped by her friend Mike. With Uber, there were more than enough negative responses to her, and she got furious and wrote entire posts in indecipherable aol speak.
76) Fuck InkLink, by Degreeless http://www.ubersite.com/m/64955
Will cartoon pornography ever get old? After seeing Habeeb's masterful works of MS Paint art, and Fuck InkLink by Degreeless, the Lord of Goatse, I can safely answer no.
===============================
This is a caricature I drew of Shlongy. ?NSFW?
User Reviews
Submitted by 200killerwasps (user info) at 2008-09-26 08:28:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Because you showed me Chris Evan's 'jocks have it hard' post.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-08 21:51:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
weet
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-06-08 19:37:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Word.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-05-31 11:51:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
84) The Shlongy Dance, by CaptainThorns http://www.ubersite.com/m/64272 -
This is another post where a single picture can create infinite amusement. I believe it's something to do with Beavis and Butt-head, but in any case, the Captain has a success. It was on Best Ever for a while, until G-Prime junked it.
--------------------------------
You got it...it was that damn inverted nadtwister dance that B&B did.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-31 09:04:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-05-31 08:44:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ignore anything that jgreening has to say or suggest.
---
I put Re16 y/olds on the list before he suggested it.
I'm posting #75-51 today. I'll have another lovely picture of you, Shlongy :-)
I'll make sure it's perverse as possible.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-05-31 08:44:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ignore anything that jgreening has to say or suggest.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-31 08:40:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-05-30 22:49:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-30 12:23:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-05-30 11:29:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
No one wants to read your boring, contrived posts, Donovan. Why don't you go write up your film festival predictions for 2007
----
Wrong Donovan, I think.
Ryandonovan #9 is an incredibly boring poster.
--
Yes, definitly the wrong poster. I've actually written non boring crap.
---
We should write -2die on our respective hands and smash Method's face in.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-31 08:39:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
...
WINNERS NEVER QUIT
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-31 08:39:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-05-30 16:59:50 (#)
Ranking: -2
You jackass, that post by me was sarcasm. Way to criticize me when you clearly don't know what you're talking about. Fucking get some reading comprehension skills you little kid.
Also, that "draurings" post was done by Loren1, not FilthyAssistant.
I gave up after that one-two combo.
-----
QUITTERS NEVER WIN
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-31 08:38:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-05-31 05:21:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
All I must say, is 44213 had better make the list.
No single post in history has had it's entire text quoted so much.
Or used in a tattoo.
Ask Bart to show you his back some time...
0-0000000000000000
Wazza's masterpiece is very high up on the list.
What the hell man
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-05-31 05:21:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All I must say, is 44213 had better make the list.
No single post in history has had it's entire text quoted so much.
Or used in a tattoo.
Ask Bart to show you his back some time...
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-05-30 23:17:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My apologies, old boy, I had you confused with someone else
See! I can admit when I'm wrong!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-05-30 22:58:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Razor's a big wobbly douchebag
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-05-30 22:49:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-30 12:23:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-05-30 11:29:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
No one wants to read your boring, contrived posts, Donovan. Why don't you go write up your film festival predictions for 2007
----
Wrong Donovan, I think.
Ryandonovan #9 is an incredibly boring poster.
--
Yes, definitly the wrong poster. I've actually written non boring crap.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-05-30 21:37:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
damn i guess if I'm not in the bottom 25 I ain't in it, huh?
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2006-05-30 21:28:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AWW TANK U THRE TIMES SO FAR
GO VOMITOUS PEENERS WOO!!!
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2006-05-30 17:34:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you happy?
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2006-05-30 17:34:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I started slapping myself in the face when I saw #80. I will never be able to watch porn the same way.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-05-30 17:24:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*WEEPS*
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-05-30 17:13:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-05-30 16:40:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/u/stevie_says/l/bestofsteve
http://www.ubersite.com/u/stevie_says/l/b.at.w
I demand to have one post on this list. DEMAND.
-----------------------------
If he's keeping away from B@W you may be in trouble.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-05-30 16:59:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You jackass, that post by me was sarcasm. Way to criticize me when you clearly don't know what you're talking about. Fucking get some reading comprehension skills you little kid.
Also, that "draurings" post was done by Loren1, not FilthyAssistant.
I gave up after that one-two combo.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-05-30 16:40:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/u/stevie_says/l/bestofsteve
http://www.ubersite.com/u/stevie_says/l/b.at.w
I demand to have one post on this list. DEMAND.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2006-05-30 15:56:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
these had better be the top two posts
http://www.ubersite.com/m/45919
http://www.ubersite.com/m/37896
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-05-30 15:41:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You get a point for every time you mention Degreeless.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-05-30 14:23:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Weetest post ever
http://www.ubersite.com/m/87534 -FACE IT
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-05-30 14:21:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-05-30 10:53:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
Did Cysty get banned or something? Where did he go???
he wasn't banned. he's taking a break. not to fear, i've heard the plan for his next post and i assure you it won't disappoint.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-05-30 14:20:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I better be somewhere in this damn thing.
That would be weet
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-05-30 13:36:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/65529
"Shlongy's Tips on How to Clean Up UberSite" better be in the Top 25.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-30 13:28:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sex fuck penis
Submitted by eppliks (user info) at 2006-05-30 13:23:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
96) Uberhistory (sex fuck), by ProfessorFuckFace http://www.ubersite.com/m/75308
__________
For some reason, that's my favorite post title of all time.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-30 13:03:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2006-05-30 12:47:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
If McBain isn't on the list, I'm gonna have to stab you.
---
STill Wanna Talk Shit?????
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-30 12:53:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll do what I can, but not everyone can have their post in the top 100.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-30 12:53:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Whoh.
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-05-30 12:51:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Does this fit in?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/78000
Humble, I am.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-05-30 12:50:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2006-05-30 12:31:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
i still say this is the best post ever http://www.ubersite.com/m/25950
~~~~
this is my favourite: http://www.ubersite.com/m/27284
hey coo, you up for a beer in Islington before I go on holiday in a couple of weeks?
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2006-05-30 12:47:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If McBain isn't on the list, I'm gonna have to stab you.
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2006-05-30 12:31:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i still say this is the best post ever http://www.ubersite.com/m/25950
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-05-30 12:24:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't mind I'm not on this list, I know you'll have me in your top 50.
um...
have a flower.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-30 12:23:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-05-30 11:29:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
No one wants to read your boring, contrived posts, Donovan. Why don't you go write up your film festival predictions for 2007
----
Wrong Donovan, I think.
Ryandonovan #9 is an incredibly boring poster.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-30 12:16:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have no idea who David Talbot is.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-05-30 11:29:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No one wants to read your boring, contrived posts, Donovan. Why don't you go write up your film festival predictions for 2007
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-05-30 11:17:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I guess I will also humbly submit what people have thought is my best work.
http://www.ubersite.com/u/DonovanMD/l/bestofdonovanmd
Comedy wise check out Long Cool Woman, The Thursday Night Bet and The Pink Shirt. But my best is probably The Makings of a Real Man
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-05-30 11:15:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great stuff axe.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-05-30 11:12:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's one:
I think I've done 4 of them.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/54626
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-05-30 11:07:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not bad. I doubt I'll make this list, I havent written anything that fantastic, but it should be fun none the less.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-05-30 10:58:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're the David Talbot of Uber, I swear.
Submitted by MrSmiley (user info) at 2006-05-30 10:56:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"97) I Like to do Drauring, by FilthyAssistant http://www.ubersite.com/m/5241
FilthyAssistant grabs the #97 spot for pure WTF value. It reminds me of the HA! HA! priest. What can I say about this except that it's unreasonably funny?"
Explain damn you
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-05-30 10:53:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did Cysty get banned or something? Where did he go???
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-30 10:47:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OH MY GOD
I forgot the Cyst Master.
This will have to be rectified.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-05-30 10:44:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I humbly submit these posts...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/71859
http://www.ubersite.com/m/71933
http://www.ubersite.com/m/72312
http://www.ubersite.com/m/72723
http://www.ubersite.com/m/73283
http://www.ubersite.com/m/73451
I've done mostly large series, so that takes me out of this loop...
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-30 10:37:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't even remember any Shlongy quizzes, and I came here Septemer/October 2004.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-30 10:37:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-05-30 10:31:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to say that my buttsecks post, which got 9000 hits without ever being on B@W OR #1 most heated, definitely deserves a place on this list.
-==---
PERHAPS I shall consider it.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-05-30 10:31:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to say that my buttsecks post, which got 9000 hits without ever being on B@W OR #1 most heated, definitely deserves a place on this list.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-05-30 10:30:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just hired a new Sales Manager for Savannah who starts Thursday...that should free up some time for me to do another "quiz" or four very soon.
Also, I know how to take digital pictures now so get ready for a whole new batch of camwhores of...Me.
In the meantime, get outta my ass.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-05-30 10:28:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And I say again...Filthy assistant???????
Unless theres soem weird alter stuff goin on that I doj't now about.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-05-30 10:26:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*skuimp skuimp*
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-05-30 10:26:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Now I wish I'd written something good.
Erm...you could try...my ultimate collage...or...my kraca questions
http://www.ubersite.com/m/81762
http://www.ubersite.com/m/71641
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-05-30 10:25:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And Shlongy, I keep telling you, you need to do another quiz, those were fucking great
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-05-30 10:25:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
man,if I dont get a top 100 post I am gonna cry like a little girl
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-05-30 10:25:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
there are plenty of posts to fill all spots up
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-05-30 10:25:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-05-30 10:24:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
Pardon me, but I think I've done much better work - my Uber quizzes were some of the best things ever to be posted on this piece of shit.
PS. Nice drawing.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-30 10:21:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-05-30 10:20:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I just woke up my brother because I was laughing so loud at that picture, (which is now saved to my hard drive BTW)
"Will I make this list, huh, Axxie?"
"Shut up, Kaos!"
*sigh*
--
Everything is still up in the air. I have the last 25 pretty much settled, but 75-26 are still open for applicants.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-05-30 10:20:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
filthyassistant???????
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-30 10:20:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Heheh. I'm glad to see that people can still be shocked by internet images.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-05-30 10:20:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I just woke up my brother because I was laughing so loud at that picture, (which is now saved to my hard drive BTW)
"Will I make this list, huh, Axxie?"
"Shut up, Kaos!"
*sigh*
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-05-30 10:18:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 cuz that pic made me choke on my coffee.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-30 10:15:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll bet his wife is happy.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-05-30 10:15:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the picture.