Uber's Greatest Posts #50-26 (?NSFW? Click and find out!) (7843 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Uber-related/Bandwagon
Rating: 0.92 on 46 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Axolotl (View user info) at 2006-06-01 10:28:55 EDT
#100-76 http://www.ubersite.com/m/88541
#75-51 http://www.ubersite.com/m/88572
It's the end of the school year, and our classes are nearly over. This is my compilation of my favorite posts on Uber, from the insanely funny to the moving. I tried to stay away from B@W posts, as they're usually more well-known. This is a mostly obscure selection from Uber's past.
Enjoy
===================================
50) I Am Out of Juice, by Apollo http://www.ubersite.com/m/32446
Apollo takes a spin on Maddox's only Ubersite post in one of the funnier writings on Ubersite. Hickory dickory dock - my hand went up my cock. I came. The end.
49) A View from Heaven, by Snuggles the Assassin http://www.ubersite.com/m/63341
One of my personal favorites, a horrifically offensive picture of a threesome between three recently deceased pillars of humanity, with the great line, If the dick don't fit, you must feed the bitch.
48) PETA wants to shut down my baby-processing facility, by Vermin http://ubersite.com/m/47294
Vermin lives up to his name by proposing his great idea to make baby-skin condoms, and complaining that PETA is protesting his policy of killing all babies. This represents the beauty of Ubersite in so many different ways.
47) I'm not gay - or - why I like to pull down my pants, wait for my dick to get hard, shove it up another man's anus, thrust in and out until I explode between his meaty cheeks then suck it all out with a spoon and spit it into his mouth, by Squattail http://www.ubersite.com/m/26316
The title says it all. And it's Squattail, no less.
46) Mary Kate Olsen Doing Crack Pic, by Patrick http://www.ubersite.com/m/38407
I go here when I want to laugh. It's a single picture of Patrick, a 12-year-old holding a bottle of peach schnapps and an unlit cigarette hanging out of his pubescent lips. The comments are what makes this one of the worst posts ever.
45) If You're Going to Dress Like a Whore, I'll Think You are One, by Nath http://www.ubersite.com/m/63080
W_T_A_Y_S_T_R_M (Nath) strikes again proposing that girls who dress like whores are still in a whore's uniform, even if they are not whores.
44) The Ultimate MS Paint: It will make you cry, by Forthewin http://www.ubersite.com/m/84167
700,000 hits later...Forthewin reaches #44 just for the insane amount of time he spent on a project for Ubersite. Shit, I'm lucky if I throw a couple coherent sentences together for these best posts ever.
43) Bart-Bart Masturbates, by Habeeb http://www.ubersite.com/m/37577
Habeeb shows his long-gone, once-edgy genius by using Bart's camwhore in a method that's actually intelligent and funny. Bart-bart masturbates...
42) I Love Electro, and You Should Too, by Ingsoc http://www.ubersite.com/m/60691
I also go here when I want to laugh. This is truly the best hate post in Ubersite history.
41) A Brief History of Humor, by ProfessorFuckFace http://www.ubersite.com/m/48425
One of PFF's many hits from his heyday back in the autumn of 2004, it's a chronicle of humor as introduced by Steven Hawking.
40) Very Bad Mummy and the Six-Lane Highway, by Circe http://www.ubersite.com/m/68029
I still want to get this book. I saw Circe's post a while ago, and I wanted to get the Bad Book, but I haven't been able to find it at the library. Bless me God, with your acid penis!
39) Dear Yahoo, by JMG http://www.ubersite.com/m/74968
JMG scores another more recent hit questioning why Yahoo Geocities chose certain pictures to represent their website. Funny enough.
38) Dos and Don'ts of Surviving an Action Movie, by TTOM http://www.ubersite.com/m/85344
Degreeless, Vermin and TTOM were vying for the coveted #38 spot, but eventually I decided on Dos and Don'ts by The Taste of Monkeys. Goatse-man and Baby-basher have enough on this list already.
37) The Holy Grail, by I Have a Kristen Fetish http://www.ubersite.com/m/52187
IHAKF's final contribution to Uber, and he still doesn't have 8000 hits on it. A proper guide to hitwhores everywhere, though I don't think Queen Ashlee still has the same influence she used to.
36) It seems Kerry had a meltdown November 2nd, by Jack McCallum http://www.ubersite.com/m/50644
Har har. Jack McCallum makes fun of Kerry, what's new. Except it's actually funny in this...
35) Santa Sucks. Fuck Santa, by Sean Fogy http://www.ubersite.com/m/19099
One of the first posts I ready, this is one of my favorite titles. It says so much in four words about Sean's feeling on Father Christmas.
34) Why I Respect Israelis more than Americans and British, by Adam http://www.ubersite.com/m/70135
Adamdidit2u offers his opinion on the unrest in the Middle East. A good article in any competent hands, Adam offers some unforgettable lines in one of his last posts before he faded into obscurity.
33) What If Countries were RPG Characters?, by Enraged Baboon http://www.ubersite.com/m/59655
Don't tell me you never wondered this yourself. I think this post is accompanied by a picture of John Kerry in a spacesuit.
32) Wedding, by C1ndy http://www.ubersite.com/m/75228
If any American wants to know what a Chav is, direct them to this post. C1ndy bares England's chav culture brutally in this fanfare of Burberryphilic white trash at a wedding. Not a single bird that isn't bloody minging.
31) Jesus Stopped Me From Getting a Job, but I Still Like Him, by Nath http://www.ubersite.com/m/80577
Jesus has made several appearances on this list, and now he's bothering Nath trying to prevent him from useful employment. GO PAC MAN WOO
30) Silence of the MS Paint, by ProfessorFuckFace http://www.ubersite.com/m/57039
I still can't contemplate how long it must take someone to create one of these massive works of art. Forget Forthewin, this is easily the best Ms Paint on Ubersite.
29) Crackheads in the Mist, by Method http://www.ubersite.com/m/39226
Method discusses the pofeshunals who helped him break into his own car. Beware of those skinny New Yo'k guys ovah theya...they a crackhead.
28) Miscellaneous thoughts from my notebook, by Spooner http://www.ubersite.com/m/68228
This post embodies Spooner's random sense of humor, the main post of his genre. No, there won't be any Awkward Hand Turkeys on this list, but Spooner's too good to leave out.
27) How I Found Out About Sex, by Sideburns http://www.ubersite.com/m/25335
Sideburns builds up suspense as he recounts a trek in his parent's hidden belongings, finding out what the vagina is REALLY used for along the way.
26) Best MSPAINT EVAR!, by ProfessorFuckFace http://www.ubersite.com/m/75459
With 90,000 hits, this still needs more. Deserving of MVA, and so much more, and easily better than Forthewin's.
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Here's a camwhore of myself. Guess which one I am?
User Reviews
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-06-08 19:38:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I farted. Hard.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-04 19:56:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-06-04 19:23:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
Eh, I guess I should feel flattered that I got on here, but everyone has seen my ms paint already.
I have other posts that are far more entertaining/awesome that should be linked to more than that should.
Not only that, but the two paint drawings that you said are far better than mine... I'm curious, is it the subjects of the content, or the quality of the content that you consider better?
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Your MS Paint was good, but it seemed sterile, lacking feeling. FunnyAsCancer, FilthyAssistant and mainly Squattail and Gibberish create MS Paints with less technique, but more emotion and creativity.
It's like that guitar discussion on heated...all a matter of practiced technique vs. passionate soul
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-06-04 19:38:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#26?..........no, you are wrong
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-06-04 19:23:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Eh, I guess I should feel flattered that I got on here, but everyone has seen my ms paint already.
I have other posts that are far more entertaining/awesome that should be linked to more than that should.
Not only that, but the two paint drawings that you said are far better than mine... I'm curious, is it the subjects of the content, or the quality of the content that you consider better?
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-06-02 09:25:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ah, 2 of my posts have made this then. Man I rule!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-06-01 20:55:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You mus be da mofo on da lef. . .
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-06-01 20:31:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
NO _ HERE EITHER??!
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-01 20:06:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No more suggestions. The last 25 are settled.
Har har Squattail is all 25 of them. Juuuust.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-06-01 19:07:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Still weet though.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-06-01 19:07:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hell I think the only reason people are reading this one here is to see if they are on it.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-06-01 18:37:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-05-31 11:36:45 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-05-30 15:41:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
You get a point for every time you link to Degreeless.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-06-01 17:36:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/57100
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-01 17:30:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
THIS SERIES IS THE WORST THING I'VE EVER DID
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-01 17:27:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-06-01 17:17:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
Are you fuckface's alter?
Because no one - not even his own parents - is as far up his ass as you are, with the exception of whatever 16 year old boy he's fucking on his parent's dime.
---
It's not intentional
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-01 17:26:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-06-01 17:23:20 (#)
Ranking: 1
how long have you been lurking?
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September 2004
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-06-01 17:23:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
how long have you been lurking?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-06-01 17:17:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Are you fuckface's alter?
Because no one - not even his own parents - is as far up his ass as you are, with the exception of whatever 16 year old boy he's fucking on his parent's dime.
Submitted by Leroy (user info) at 2006-06-01 17:09:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Researching a message board... you are a complete fucking dork.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2006-06-01 15:47:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Of all the posts of mine, you pick one that I spent five minutes on? Ok then. Now I know how Kevin Smith feels when people tell him their favorite part of Clerks is Jay & Silent Bob dancing rather than any of the dialogue he wrote...not that I'm comparing myself to Kevin Smith, I just know how he feels in this particular situation.
Then again, whenever he's angry he can bathe in a bathtub full of money. You know what, to hell with Kevin Smith.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-06-01 15:13:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
the ratings get lower as I am yet to see myself
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-06-01 15:03:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for me being included in the 100-76 section, but come on....... I've done a lot better than that.
:(
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2006-06-01 14:37:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yeah, that's the ticket!
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-06-01 14:04:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-01 13:35:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-06-01 11:10:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2006-06-01 11:03:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-06-01 10:47:31 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-06-01 10:44:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
seriously, could you eat squattails cock any harder?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-01 12:17:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-06-01 11:38:18 (#)
Ranking: -2
16? What kind of joke is that?
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What are you talking about?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-01 12:17:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2006-06-01 11:25:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
You also might want to check out the users PolPot and dategrape.
Lojope's "Path Of Thorns" had better be in the number one spot when this is all said and done.
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Dategrape was good, he was one of Squattail's alters, and he's been in enough for now.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-06-01 11:38:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
16? What kind of joke is that?
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-06-01 11:36:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
after having checked out some of your choices, i gotta say youve got pretty mediocre taste. some of these posts are below average, at best.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2006-06-01 11:25:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You also might want to check out the users PolPot and dategrape.
Lojope's "Path Of Thorns" had better be in the number one spot when this is all said and done.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-06-01 11:24:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thats fine, i can be pretty boring. however, i think that a lot of his 'better' posts are not his own work.
the problem with posts like this one, is that people take them a little seriously. after all, its is just one persons opinion.
having said that, none of mine have been in here so far and im afraid im going to have to kill you for it.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-01 11:20:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Each one of these posts deserves their rank, including Squattails.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-01 11:19:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-06-01 11:00:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
no, youre just puerile.
he's done like 2 good posts, and i suspect he stole them.
--
Different senses of humor, I guess. I prefer his work to yours.
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-06-01 11:10:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2006-06-01 11:03:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-06-01 10:47:31 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-06-01 10:44:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
seriously, could you eat squattails cock any harder?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-06-01 11:08:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
peepee
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-06-01 11:05:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Needs more nitty
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2006-06-01 11:03:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-06-01 10:47:31 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-06-01 10:44:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
seriously, could you eat squattails cock any harder?
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-06-01 11:00:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no, youre just puerile.
he's done like 2 good posts, and i suspect he stole them.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-01 10:58:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Woo comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-06-01 10:57:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-01 10:57:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-06-01 10:44:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
seriously, could you eat squattails cock any harder?
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He's a lot funnier than anything you've posted.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-01 10:55:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-06-01 10:43:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
Poontang pieeeeee
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Someone got suspended for saying that in class last month.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-06-01 10:52:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes Comment
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-06-01 10:47:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-06-01 10:44:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
seriously, could you eat squattails cock any harder?
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-06-01 10:44:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
seriously, could you eat squattails cock any harder?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-06-01 10:43:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Poontang pieeeeee
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-01 10:36:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Chicken pot chicken pot piee