Uber's Greatest Posts #25-1 (?NSFW? Click and find out!) (13772 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Uber-related/Bandwagon
Rating: 0.94 on 64 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Axolotl (View user info) at 2006-06-02 09:48:35 EDT
#100-76 http://www.ubersite.com/m/88541
#75-51 http://www.ubersite.com/m/88572
#50-26 http://www.ubersite.com/m/88623
It's the end of the school year, and our classes are nearly over. This is my compilation of my favorite posts on Uber, from the insanely funny to the moving. I tried to stay away from B@W posts, as they're usually more well-known. This is a mostly obscure selection from Uber's past.
Enjoy
===================================
25) Baby-Skin Condoms, by Vermin http://www.ubersite.com/m/45747
Vermin uses babies to prevent babies in his proposition to create condoms made of infant skin.
24) Electro Gets Cystfucked, by the Cyst Master http://www.ubersite.com/m/82592
Cyst Master attacks Electro and MistressFist by slandering Electro as a fat, autistic high schooler, which is a total lie.
23) If You Are What You Eat, then I'm a Horny Teenage Girl, by Comicbookguy http://www.ubersite.com/m/38504
Comicbookguy scores his hit by this tale of teenage oral sex, and Mario Kart as well.
22) Bastard Buzzard Brutalizes Brits, by Habeeb http://www.ubersite.com/m/35708
Habeeb's illustrated news apexes in this picture of a bird attacking helpless civilians screaming "cawwww! Cawww!"
21) The Ultimate Weapon for Exacting Revenge on Co-Workers, by Blitzkrieg Bob http://www.ubersite.com/m/61908
I tried to make one of these things, but the cardboard was too short or something. Still a good concept.
20) I'm a Terrible Rapist, by Mike http://www.ubersite.com/m/80968
It sounds like the Onion, but Mike's I'm a Terrible Rapist is still good.
19) Ubersite is AWESOME!, by WhatTheHell http://www.ubersite.com/m/74252
Whatthehell's greatest piece, he poignantly discusses his father molesting him at a young age, comparing it to his love for Ubersite.
18) Queen Ashley, I want you, by Boring White Boy http://www.ubersite.com/m/58511
It starts off so normal, but it takes a odd turn for the worse, in the stalking variety.
17) Gangbanged Chinese Princess, by Shandythedog http://www.ubersite.com/m/53861
Shandythedog tells the story of how he gangbanged a Chinese princess with an orangutan. An intensely disturbing but funny tale.
16) The Real Ultimate MS Paint: it will make you weep and eat your children, by Habeeb http://www.ubersite.com/m/84244
Habeeb far outshines Forthewin in this parody of the Ultimate MS Paint. Go eat some cake.
15) Memoir, by Foolproof http://www.ubersite.com/m/84961
The highest-ranked "serious" post, this makes me think of my hometown, just a small little place...it's very moving.
14) What I Look Like, by McBain http://www.ubersite.com/m/11094
From the best alter on Uber, a camwhore of him looking like he was photoshopped. Still wanna talk shit????????????
13) How the Hell Do I get out of this one?, by Sideburns http://www.ubersite.com/m/75261
I don't know if this is true, but Sideburns evidently got engaged to get out of a parking ticket. Sounds dick, but funny.
12) Re 16 y/olds http://www.ubersite.com/m/44213
What the hell man , if they are comin at you ,means they want something , more better you look after them and take care of them than they get on the street uh ?
11) MY Desktop! (NSFW), by ProfessorFuckFace http://www.ubersite.com/m/76609
Squattail's best post, a picture taken during the Desktop bandwagon filled with...just click the link
10) Please don't show me your peepee, it makes mine hurt, by Saxon http://www.ubersite.com/m/84079
The funny part of this was that Caul revealed his mother rushing into his room ordering him to take his hands of his penis.
9) Jesus is one crazy homeboy, by Zoidberg http://www.ubersite.com/m/73029
An underrated post, Zoidberg finds a site with inspirational pictures of Jesus doing things like apparently getting in a threesome and leading sheep to attack a city, and offers his commentary.
8) Joe Pesci's Bedtime Story, by Jack McCallum http://www.ubersite.com/m/44802
An obscure contender for the #8 spot, Jack McCallum writes this post about the mobster Joe Pesci telling a bedtime story to a child with all profanity he can muster.
7) Exploiting Peer-to-Peer Networking, by Tom http://www.ubersite.com/m/29438
Though 1st on the MVM when I arrived on Uber, this has fallen to 3rd, but it's still the funniest post on the most viewed list. Though fabricated, enraged baboons fucking a nipple factory is too good to pass up
6) Idiots Discuss Complex Subjects, by Spooner http://www.ubersite.com/m/73335
One of Spooner's funnier posts, this revolves around two idiots talking about time travel, global warming, and other complex concepts in the most inept way possible.
5) Paid In Full, by Electro http://www.ubersite.com/m/70816
This was never meant to be funny, but it turned out that Electro's Ubermadness entry was the high point of the entire competition. But whom killed him, and why?
4) Uberflash, by Rad1101 http://www.ubersite.com/m/69913
I don't know how long this took...I don't know what seized Rad to do this...but this is one of the most bizarre, random swfs on Uber. If you know who these people are or if you don't, it's still hilarious.
3) Fat People Don't Like Being Called Waddles, by Potatomanjack http://www.ubersite.com/m/41248
There are so many great lines in this story, you can't list them all. Potatomanjack doesn't post much anymore, but this was truly his finest attempt, a beautiful new take on the anti-fat issue.
2) I was raped by my Dyson, by Snark http://www.ubersite.com/m/64735
Bagless bastard! Snark falls down the stairs and is raped horribly by his Dyson vacuum cleaner! Second place goes to this for making me laugh out loud for ten minutes straight.
1) Adventures in Loss Prevention: Bobby noooo!, by Jack11058 http://www.ubersite.com/m/68161
This is easily my favorite post ever, and one of the more underrated. This should be on BAW, the MVM, MVA, MRR, MHM, and all that other stuff. The tale of porn, child abuse and theft culminates in a final great line and accompanying picture, easily worthy of all accolades.
----
To everyone who reads this site:
We're all going to hell. See you there.
User Reviews
Submitted by Flapjacksupreme (user info) at 2007-01-21 14:14:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2006-09-05 02:48:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ah, Bob Dole enjoyed the trip down memory lane.
Submitted by WingedFoote (user info) at 2006-09-05 01:53:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this list made my day...
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2006-09-04 18:09:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Needs more: JMG, d_prime, cowbell.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-09-04 17:33:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i'm not anywhere in the top 100? your list can go to hell.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-15 00:08:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
LIES
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-11 20:18:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
weeps
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-06-11 04:34:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/69913#1712208
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-06-11 04:33:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/69913#1904575
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-06-11 04:33:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what AJ said
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-06-11 04:02:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Wazza Camwhores? :'-(
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-08 21:50:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
TAINT????/
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-06-08 19:37:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm awesome. T'ain't I?
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-06-07 22:24:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Rad didn't do Uberflash, Squattail did that one along with Electro's Big Fat Fucking Adventure while he was banned and had me and rad post them.
Your lists are always lacking.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-05 22:37:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2006-06-05 22:28:12 (#)
Ranking: -1
You need to get out more.
---
Anything else, Elvis, since you know everything about me?
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2006-06-05 22:28:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You need to get out more.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-06-05 22:13:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel like making mine own top 25 list to amend this one. I am sure I wont but I'll think about it while I'm at the gym.
*departs*
Submitted by ScottPeterson (user info) at 2006-06-05 21:56:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
moo me baby girl
moo me hard
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-06-05 21:29:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Dan's just mad because he didn't make the top 25.
*ducks*
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-05 21:06:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-06-05 12:05:16 (#)
Ranking: -1
Axo,
You know I like you, but this is seriously, the worst list I have ever seen.
Ever.
What in the hell is wrong with you? Sure there were a couple that were good in there, but it's not hard to hit 10 out of 100!
Awful!
----
I consider it all a matter of taste. Honestly, I took all the Uber links in My Favorites and grabbed a bunch more posts I thought were funny, as well as some well known ones like Paid In Full and ordered them in a list as to how good I thought they were.
I understand some people not liking the list, but it wasn't meant to be authoritative, just my opinion and bringing some obscure and underrated articles back up.
I stand by my top 3, though.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-06-05 12:05:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Axo,
You know I like you, but this is seriously, the worst list I have ever seen.
Ever.
What in the hell is wrong with you? Sure there were a couple that were good in there, but it's not hard to hit 10 out of 100!
Awful!
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2006-06-03 10:18:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Uh... the "I was raped by my Dyson" post was by SNARF, not SNARK...
just figured I'd point that out in case Snarf ever made his way back here to give a shit.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2006-06-03 02:43:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shut the fuck up, Jaypig. We get it. You think that particular post is funny. You make a big deal out of a quirky, stupid post. Hardy fucking har har. It might've been a very funny post, but we'll never know now, because you sucked the life out of it with your constant fake obsession over it.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-06-03 02:03:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
12th?
12th?
TWELFTH?
I CALL BULLSHIT!
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2006-06-03 00:08:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Uhhhhm, dude? Some guy named snarf wrote 'I was raped by my dyson'. Not Snark.
Durrrrr.
Submitted by BrownEyedGirrl (user info) at 2006-06-02 18:39:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-06-02 13:33:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
you got your list, I got mine
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-06-02 16:26:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There is no awesome face on this list. You suck.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-06-02 15:36:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
*weeps*
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-06-02 15:25:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Not enough Shlongy. I did a good post once.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-02 15:24:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I just realized - there are no J-Date posts on this list!
That's fucked up, dude, seriously.
You could have at least grouped them all together, collectively, they are Top 5 material EASY.
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2006-06-02 15:19:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+1.5
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-06-02 14:31:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
# 15, eh?
Well then, a hearty "Go me!"
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-02 13:58:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm still moping that I didn't make this list...
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-06-02 13:33:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you got your list, I got mine
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-06-02 12:59:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-06-02 11:05:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
What do you expect, when only five of the writers in this 'Top 100' are women?
~~~~~
Charming.
I'll remember this.
REVENGE IS SWEET.
bloody sexist
*mutter mutter*
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-06-02 11:45:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2006-06-02 11:18:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
I love not making any lists, ever.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You made my list of users starting with a W.
Good list.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-02 11:26:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-06-02 11:06:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm assuming this was less hard work and more fun, but thanks for highlighting some genuinely funny stuff and not the usual ass-kissing ubertripe.
You fuck'n fuck.
----
There are definitely some underrated posts on this. #1 only had 1100 hits when I checked.
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2006-06-02 11:18:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love not making any lists, ever.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-06-02 11:06:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm assuming this was less hard work and more fun, but thanks for highlighting some genuinely funny stuff and not the usual ass-kissing ubertripe.
You fuck'n fuck.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-06-02 11:05:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-06-02 10:57:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
what?
None of mine AT ALL????
---
What do you expect, when only five of the writers in this 'Top 100' are women?
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-06-02 10:57:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what?
None of mine AT ALL????
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-06-02 10:53:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yea right
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-06-02 10:46:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've got some real qualms with your choices there...
and not because I wasn't one of them.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-06-02 10:39:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-06-02 10:28:34 (#)
Ranking: 1
Aw C'MON! Where's my "Ghola" song?
---
Absolutely.
Not enough Orgasmatron, or Thorns, up in here.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2006-06-02 10:35:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
One post total, huh? Ok then.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-06-02 10:28:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Aw C'MON! Where's my "Ghola" song?
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-06-02 10:21:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hey man i got a 38 special tape yesterday and they rocked my car so hard that all the glass shattered and my tires deflated and killed the battery.
38 special continued to play though
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-06-02 10:17:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
which is why i'm not on much these days. goddamned work all the time. slah.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-02 10:16:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-06-02 10:15:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
i wish i had free time.
--
So do I.
As soon as school ends, I won't be on Uber that much.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-06-02 10:15:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i wish i had free time.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-02 10:12:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I find the Boshman a little funnier because of the serious way he writes, and his quirks (Scruggs, cigarettes etc)
Glall tends to spread out and go everywhere sounding so hyper it's like he did a line of cocaine before hitting Hook Me Up. I suppose it is a fine line though.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-06-02 10:09:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
its not really hard to be random though
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-06-02 10:08:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah but there's an art to random. Sometimes you do too much sometimes too little to make the point but he does get it right once and awhile and for that I take my hat off to him. Besides do you have any idea how hard it is to be that random all the time?
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-06-02 10:07:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hey man im not really in there anyways
the link in my spot goes somewhere else
its still bosh though ..one for the green thumb, ya dig?
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-06-02 10:05:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sign, its ok Axol, I dont live and die by the size of my Uber-penis....
I LIE! I REALLY, REALLY DO!! VALIDATE ME!!
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-02 10:03:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-06-02 10:00:35 (#)
Ranking: 1
Love the picture, but you've left one of my favorite posters out of the ranks entirely, GodLovesALittleLovin. Shame on you.
----
I don't consider Glall very funny, just random for the sake of randomness.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-02 10:02:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-06-02 10:00:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
Well why be bitter, I mean, I can at least say I was the guy Electro lost to in Ubermadness, and his post gets NUMBER FUCKING FIVE!?!
I'm not bitter, really. I'll even +2 this.
--
haha
Sorry about that Donovan, I didn't look through every post on Uber. Consider it a compliment that your Ubermadness wasn't that bad as to "beat" Electro's.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-06-02 10:00:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well why be bitter, I mean, I can at least say I was the guy Electro lost to in Ubermadness, and his post gets NUMBER FUCKING FIVE!?!
I'm not bitter, really. I'll even +2 this.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-06-02 10:00:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Love the picture, but you've left one of my favorite posters out of the ranks entirely, GodLovesALittleLovin. Shame on you.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-06-02 09:59:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Chris Evans, The Bosh Man and everyone and their fucking dog gets in the top 100 and I get shut the fuck out?
I demand a re-count!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-06-02 09:57:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-02 09:54:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-06-02 09:51:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
ROCK N' ROLL INTO THE FUTURE!!
d-----
WEET
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-06-02 09:51:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ROCK N' ROLL INTO THE FUTURE!!
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-06-02 09:51:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No degreeless