The Book Of Dubious Stuff (713 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Dervel (View user info) at 2006-06-05 09:04:42 EDT
With this new and completely reset edition, "The Book Of Dubious Stuff" maintains and enhances its reputation as the most widely accepted authority on the doubtful of today.
The editor has drawn on his vast material on all things questionable and its usage in the world of modern man.
"The Book Of Dubious Stuff" has not been assembled for the recently completed "Supplement to the Oxford English Dictionary" and has taken no account whatsoever of the large number of suggestions for addition and improvement that have come to his attention since a week last Tuesday.
The result is a lexicon that continues to justify its reputation as the most reliable authority on the spoken, written, imagined and plain fabricated dubious of today.
Chapter One - The Universe And Other Planets.
People used to make hats as far back as the 18th century, these people were called "hatters". Whilst making the hats, the planet Mercury was used to remove animal fur from the pelts. Prolonged exposure to Mercury vapours causes brain damage and made the hat makers crazy. This is how the expression "mad as a hatter" came to be.
All the planets rotate clockwise, except Venus, which has no arms and therefore can't swim properly so just bobs around aimlessly in the shallow end.
Earth is the only plant, which can be explored without the use of a spaceship.
Mars is often referred too as "the red planet". This isn't because it is red or a planet but because it is a red planet. Barsoomian princessess don't exist, they are a nonsense. Barsoom doesn't have a feudal system.
Jupiter has four moons. Io, Europa, Ganymede and Callisto. Galileo recorded their motions on his telescope in 1610. Ganymede has a fibre deficiency.
The planet Saturn will float in a large enough bowl of water. This is because Jesus won it on a hoopla stall at a travelling carnival (this is also how it got its rings). Saturn used to be shaped like a duck but Jesus, upset that he didn't win a goldfish, kicked it all the way home.
Uranus was originally called "The Georgium Sidus" after King George III of Great Britain and Ireland. George III irritated the American colonials, with his awesome government policies, to such an extent that after the revoloution in 1776 they changed the name. It was supposed to be a bitting affront to their erstwhile monarch, but they spelt it all wrong.
Pluto is the Roman name for Hades, the Greek god of the underworld. Hades has a throne made of ebony and owns a sceptre. He also has a helmet, which was given to him by a Cyclopes, which can turn him invisible. Hades wears the helmet to sneak onto Charon the ferryman's boat without paying. Hades is a complete and utter cunt.
The Book Of Dubious Stuff - Quick Fact:
The gorilla (go·ril·la) is the largest of the anthropoid apes (Gorilla gorilla) and is a very narcissistic beast.
User Reviews
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-06-07 22:21:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bahahaha
what???
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-06-06 07:21:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Great scott, was magnifique
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-06-05 17:38:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by calyne (user info) at 2006-06-05 17:25:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Heh. I didn't have the patience to read through that. But thank you for your time.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-06-05 13:33:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i didn't read it. the pic was horrible though.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-06-05 13:24:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-06-05 12:45:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I will not engage in Britishisms here.
I refuse.
Jake, I love you, but I'm not IN love with you.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-06-05 12:06:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ace.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-06-05 10:25:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This ranks in at .13 Shamone on the Shamone Scale.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2006-06-05 10:23:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i LOL'd my pants
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-06-05 10:20:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pure unadultarated alright.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2006-06-05 10:01:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GODDAMNIT, DERVEL! I was going to do a post for you on APW with all the MSPaints you send me. And now... now I can't. *weep* this was the keystone of the collection. *mourn* Now I'll have to post the piece of crap I worked on over the weekend.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-06-05 09:56:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
earth is a plant?
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-06-05 09:36:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-06-05 09:12:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dubious
Submitted by swine_powered_hate_machine (user info) at 2006-06-05 09:09:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"I founded it in a toilet."
Gold.