The Way I See It (561 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.69 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by r0fl (View user info) at 2006-06-05 23:00:44 EDT
Journal Entry
Tuesday, May 6th, 2006.
The car's engine revved backward down my driveway, careening over cracks and crevices - signs of disrepair from many a neglected season here in New England.
I shifted back into first gear, easing out toward the main road.
The coupe was running better than I'd imagined after the winter imprisoned under a tarmac in my garage. I eased the brake as the streetlights approached slowly, waving in the cool morning breeze.
Ahead in the distance, cutting through familiarity like a red dress at a funeral, were oscillating blue lights sitting atop the roofs of three Crown Victorias amidst Newbourne Avenue - a dead end of mostly woods and few homes.
The plastic caution tape spanned the entire length of asphalt roadway, decorating the street like some distorted concrete Christmas tree of grays, yellows, oranges, and blues.
"A lotta crime 'round here," we all agreed on the last Community Watch meeting.
Crock of shit that was. But since my accident, I had nothin' better t'do than listen to housewives and immigrants bitch about anything and everything.
The light flicked green as I sat idling, picking the dirt from underneath my fingernails.
The horn of a downtrodden pickup reminded me of the beckoning green light, and the coupe roared to life. I glanced at my rearview mirror to see Jose Maldonado, a neighbor of mine, probably late for work and irritated.
My thoughts quickly traveled back to what it felt like to go to work as I motored on, my mouth dry, face stubbled. It had been almost five months since the accident kept me from work.
The static of my Kenwood AM/FM/CD player radio cackled, and I chuckled back at it. I remember buying that in high school, all the kids did that shit to their cars. The cost was ridiculous, almost a month's worth of prescriptions I've been on since the accident - and it now mocked me.
The car's alignment was off - always leaning to the right, like walking with a slightly higher heel in your left shoe. This morning however, its motions were reminiscent of a delving rod pointing toward an underground water source.
There it was, up on the right.
Starbucks.
In my usual spot, I noticed another Ford Crown Vic. But this one was jet black.
The door creaked open, and I grabbed my laptop case and started to walk up toward the entrance, awaiting the greeting of either smooth jazz or, if Jane was working, maybe some underground hip-hop. I liked her best - not her music tastes - but her smile.
And her eyes. Don't get me started. You'll think I'm obsessed or some shit, but - I put enough milk in to my coffee to have it match her eyes. I think they're hazel, but their lighter, and more beautiful than anything I've ever seen.
A pair stood in line ahead of me, older men, but not much older than I, with shined black shoes and pseudo-expensive suits, complete with overcoats.
They had 'detectives' written all over 'em, even before I heard 'em order.
Detectives had been to our community before, when the first killing took place at the beginning of the winter. They questioned the whole neighborhood, yours truly included. But when another and another showed up in neighboring towns and cities, they merely migrated toward the latest one. Seeing them was obviously not good news.
My sneakers squealed across the tiled floor.
"Mornin' Jane, how's the kids?"
"Fine, Todd. Usual?"
"Eh, make it a triple today. Had a rough night."
Her simple nod and wink - Jane was still a flirt just like in high school - always made me want to ask her out ever since her boyfriend had left her.
But what would I say? Ask her out for coffee?
I strolled down toward the pickup counter, overhearing the detectives mention details of the crime scene.
"... brutal as the others..."
"... he's taunting us..."
"... and what the fuck is a Venti, anyway?"
I'll admit, the last one made me chuckle.
Judging from their lack of respect by blurting - albeit softly - crime scene details - it was apparent he struck again.
The victims have been all girls, and all brunettes.
The media wants to link it to some copycat killer from a few decades ago, and others think it's some sort of cult. I think they just wanna sell papers, and I doubt anybody knows what's going on.
Jane slid two large coffees to the detectives and winked at me again.
She seemed frisky today. When did I not?
"Grande, triple americano," she chirped, emphasizing the 'triple' in some Latino accent. I couldn't duplicate it if my life depended on it.
"Thanks," I said, blushing.
At least they didn't take my seat.
I lowered myself into my normal chair, some wicker furniture fit for a patio set, but comfy as hell. My bones rested, joints ached.
The laptop hummed to life, and I started typing and sipping my coffee, checking out the Sox /Yankees analysis from the night before.
Beckett - 1.1 innings.
I should have ordered a quad.
I drew a deep breath, and was subsequently reminded of the bruised ribs I was still attempting to overcome.
The detectives sat to my right, staring out the window at the passing cars, annoyed of their morning's events. They talked in hushed tones, but the younger of the two seemed to be getting angrier than anything else.
To my left, Jane's hips were swaying to the beat of the music - which I was starting to enjoy, tell you the truth.
Her long dark hair almost glistened as it tossed back and forth in the loose bun behind her head.
I bet it smelled of coffee all day. I wonder what she's doing tonight.
The younger detective slammed his fist on the tiled table, silencing customers in the shop.
He fixed his tie, trying to regain his composure.
I sipped my coffee, kept typing.
I wonder if they'd ever catch me.
End Entry.
User Reviews
Submitted by dr_weazel (user info) at 2006-06-06 17:12:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
A bit predictable, and this lost you a point:
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The coupe was running better than I'd imagined after the winter imprisoned under a tarmac in my garage
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You're either looking for "tarp" or "tarpaulin"... tarmac is what you drive ON (i.e the road surface)
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-06-06 12:14:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Predictable to the max. Still good though.
Submitted by alwayspeach1 (user info) at 2006-06-06 10:36:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It was good. I saw it coming. I think I'd have enjoyed it better if it had been Jane they were after.
Submitted by street-pirate (user info) at 2006-06-06 09:04:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-06-06 05:29:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good, but too predictable for the 2
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2006-06-06 04:38:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
They didn't catch John Doe until he walked into the station and held his hands up... Just don't get sloppy.
Oh... This isn't a confession :D
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2006-06-06 02:56:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What they all said. Very good
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-06-06 02:02:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent..
Submitted by deedee (user info) at 2006-06-06 01:11:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thats rather interesting..mOOOOOre please!
Submitted by eleanor_rigby (user info) at 2006-06-06 01:01:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by r0fl (user info) at 2006-06-05 23:21:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JapanFour (user info) at 2006-06-05 23:16:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
This was really good. I'd like to see more of it as well.
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You kids always want more, more, more. So, from now on, when I post something, I need to make sure I can continue it?
Submitted by JapanFour (user info) at 2006-06-05 23:16:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was really good. I'd like to see more of it as well.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-06-05 23:15:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
very familiar and well done
Submitted by r0fl (user info) at 2006-06-05 23:13:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2006-06-05 23:06:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought this was great. Are you going to continue it at all?
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You know what? I could, and I might. If you want a series and you're bored, check out my other stuff.
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2006-06-05 23:06:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought this was great. Are you going to continue it at all?