Poker is NOT a sport. Screw you. (1108 hits)
Category: Science & EnvironmentalRating: 1.48 on 52 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by G-prime (View user info) at 2006-06-06 19:55:06 EDT
I was zoned out flipping channels a little while ago, and some 1:30 a.m. poker show was on some shitty poker channel. These two dumbass obese guys, one British one American, were rmabling on about the importance of poker in today's society. Blah blah blah hugely popular blah blah blah millions play it blah blah blah very mentally intense sport blah blah. Wait, what? Sport? Excuse me?
No. Poker is not a sport. What these guys were saying is that "sure, you don't need to be able to run 100 meters in 10 seconds, but it's very intensive, mentally. I mean, this is no simple game, like monopoly. It is a very intense sport, that is already the most popular sport in the world. It should be allowed into the olympic games. In fact, I predict that in ten years, poker will be an olympic sport."
Fuck you. I happen to love monopoly. And they are both just games. Neither is a sport. Poker is only more "intense" than monopoly because there is real money involved. And it's only so popular because it has a certain western badass appeal to it. Plenty of card games are much more intense and much more fun, but nobody gives a shit about cheat, bridge, or war, or even 52 pick up now do they?
Where the hell is the benefit of a poker show? All they do is show other people playing poker and "discuss" the techniques and strategies. What. The. Fuck. It's a cardgame, you dolts. "It's like in the X-games where they're doing loop-dee-loops in a motorcycle. It's very exciting." No, it's not. It's four fat guys gambling and drinking beer to escape from their shitty lives by taking a few risks.
Sure, I play poker, sometimes. I play it on with buddies when we're bored, and we play with low money. Try playing Monopoly with real money, and it gets more intense than any game of poker ever could. I play poker at a party and there is removal clothing involved.
Poker does not make you cool. Poker will never be an olympic sport. Moshpits have more in common with sports than poker. In other news, I lost my glasses in the front row of the bloodhound gang on friday night, and wasn't able to see Metallica so well on Sunday night, but I still fucking saw them. It rocked. They played the entire Master of Puppets album for the 20th anniversary. I will post pictures of my campsite when I can get my damn camera program working.
For now, content yourselves with some Condage.
User Reviews
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-07-29 18:11:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Poker is not a sport.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2006-07-29 18:08:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sounds about right.
Submitted by phauna (user info) at 2006-07-29 17:58:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It all started to fall apart when chess was referred to as a sport.
In Korea they have one whole tv channel devoted to the game 'Go', and another devoted to 'Starcraft' of all things.
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2006-07-29 17:30:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm Superman.
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-07-29 16:59:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't believe I never rated this. This is the shit. Preach on, brutha.
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2006-06-09 13:43:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+1 pic, +1 post.
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-06-09 13:31:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Haha you're cool with me.
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-06-09 13:21:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus 2 dont take it personally
And i just farted it smells real bad.
That is all.
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-06-08 14:51:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
100th post!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-06-07 14:44:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Download it for free on the web site...although it's NOT even close to the best tune available for downloading. I can't make it easier - or cheaper- than that, Howie.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-06-07 14:05:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Exactly. I hate poker because I don't know how to play it. I've tried to play and I've won but I didn't even know I won until someone told me.
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-06-07 11:50:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Then toss in the mental endurance test of watching him soil himself up again in ten seconds flat by taking a shit and promptly rolling in it.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-06-07 11:31:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If poker becomes an Olympic sport then dog washing should also be an Olympic sport. Hey you try chasing a 100 pound husky all over the yard, wrestling him into a tub of water, getting him all lathered up, chasing him all over the yard again, and rinsing all the soap off so he's all pretty & clean and smells like a little coconut and tell me it's not a sport.
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-06-07 11:17:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How would I be able to get my hands on a copy?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-06-07 08:33:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What about Land Surfin, numbnuts?
First song I ever wrote.
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-06-07 08:21:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-06-07 08:07:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
I just meant you are kinda feeble minded is all.
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Your mother is feeble minded.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-06-07 08:20:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree with G
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-06-07 08:16:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks for that. I actually submitted it about six hours ago but it's appreciated. I ended up just putting "l'argent de gouvernement".
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-06-07 08:07:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I just meant you are kinda feeble minded is all.
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-06-07 08:03:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What, poker is too complex for me to understand? Now you're talking out of your ass. I understand poker. I understand the subtleties and strategies and whatnot, but it's still just a fucking card game. It's a creative way to gamble. If you were only playing for pennies, it wouldn't be much fun, now would it? Bridge is much more fun if you're lame enough to play cards every friday night with "the guys".
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-06-07 07:40:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
its too complex for you to understand
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-06-07 07:17:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scoobybri (user info) at 2006-06-06 21:12:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for mentioning the BHG.
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The bass dude (his name escapes me at the moment) pissed on Jimmy. He did it because Jimmy was saying the Depeche Mode were good, and he disagreed. Later, he did a whole bottle of Jaegermeister in a beer bong. +respect
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-06-07 07:15:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-06-06 20:56:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Frenchie... what would be an appropriate translation for the word "welfare" (as in government handouts, not the state of wellbeing).
Any help would be appreciated / necessary.
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L'aide social. Literally it means social help, but I think it fits your context. Mmm... that sounded dirty... fits thorpe's context...
Where am I talking out of my ass, rad? You're just upset cause you're one of the 4 fat guys at the table.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-06-07 07:00:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
true dat
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-06-07 06:25:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
twat
Submitted by Nick_Dog (user info) at 2006-06-07 06:10:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nice post. Poker isn't a sport, but its bloody fun.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-06-07 02:33:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I mean, you pretty much correct that the game isn't a sport; however on all other points you are talking out of your ass.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-06-07 02:32:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
lick my ass
Submitted by supadupapupa (user info) at 2006-06-06 23:05:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Come to Japan,
Eating is a sport that requires exceptional talent and endurance. All of the guys are skinny little fuckers too! Try eating as many whole squid as you can in an hour and not vomit your brains out!
Submitted by eleanor_rigby (user info) at 2006-06-06 22:28:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh Condi... use those hands to destroy.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-06-06 21:17:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I agree with your sentiment. But there is no excuse for that terrifying picture.
Submitted by scoobybri (user info) at 2006-06-06 21:12:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for mentioning the BHG.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-06-06 21:00:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Poker is NOT a sport. Screw you. (8 hits)
Category: Science & Environmental
Rating: 1.41 on 16 reviews '
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Hahaha two times as many reveiws as hits.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-06-06 20:59:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-06-06 20:55:03 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-06-06 20:48:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-06-06 20:14:29 (#)
Ranking: 1
I won a $600 poker set from a scratch ticket and so did my Dad, so now we have 2 poker sets and we play poker.. maybe.. 3 times a year
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I'll give you best cunninglus you've ever had for one of them.
..Well I won't, but my dog will.
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Ew. Don't whore out your poor dog.
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Would you prefer a goldfish?
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-06-06 20:56:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Frenchie... what would be an appropriate translation for the word "welfare" (as in government handouts, not the state of wellbeing).
Any help would be appreciated / necessary.
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2006-06-06 20:55:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I agree with you that poker isn't a sport, but you still failed to amuse me.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-06-06 20:55:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-06-06 20:48:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-06-06 20:14:29 (#)
Ranking: 1
I won a $600 poker set from a scratch ticket and so did my Dad, so now we have 2 poker sets and we play poker.. maybe.. 3 times a year
---
I'll give you best cunninglus you've ever had for one of them.
..Well I won't, but my dog will.
~~
Ew. Don't whore out your poor dog.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-06-06 20:48:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-06-06 20:14:29 (#)
Ranking: 1
I won a $600 poker set from a scratch ticket and so did my Dad, so now we have 2 poker sets and we play poker.. maybe.. 3 times a year
---
I'll give you best cunninglus you've ever had for one of them.
..Well I won't, but my dog will.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-06-06 20:43:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-06-06 20:24:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
guys in professional eating contests are considered athlethes by whom?
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Other guys in professional eating contests, which is what's truly sad because none of them really know what being an athlete really is. Riddle me this:
What makes an athlete an athlete? What sort of criteria must be fulfilled in order to be known as an 'athlete' in the strict sense of the word?
According to the dictionary, an athlete is "A person possessing the natural or acquired traits, such as strength, agility, and endurance, that are necessary for physical exercise or sports, especially those performed in competitive contexts."
If Poker players are 'athletes' because they have the strength to lift a few cards and chips, the agility to shift their widening asses in complex directions, and the endurance to last through ten extra hands without taking a shit, then I suppose that being an athlete is overrated nowadays.
Poker players are specialists, just in the same way that video game players are specialists, not athletes. Just because you compete in something doesn't give you the right to label yourself with a word that's been taken completely out of context. Anybody can compete in anything, including poker, without strength, agility, or endurance. To label those people as athletes is ludicrous.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-06-06 20:40:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-06-06 20:24:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
guys in professional eating contests are considered athlethes by whom?
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Well not by me, but they are a lot closer than poker players.
There is nothing physically strenous about playing poker, but eating 12 pounds of pasta?
I could run 100 meters at the same pace that a marathon runner does 26 miles, but I don't have the endurance to keep doing it. I could eat a bite of a hot dog as fast as those nathan's freaks, but I couldn't eat 33.
Fuck it, maybe they are athletes.
Submitted by Dolson (user info) at 2006-06-06 20:35:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Isn't it amazing how poker gets more viewers than hockey in the States? The fuck is that about?
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-06-06 20:24:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
guys in professional eating contests are considered athlethes by whom?
playing monopoly with real money rocks, but I say that because I own at it.
Thats soudns sadder than itsi.
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-06-06 20:19:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-06-06 20:16:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
The only thing more boring than playing cards is watching other people play cards on TV. I don't understand that trend at all.
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It's like the movie doom. I don't want to watch a hand with a gun moving around shooting shit for an hour and a half, when I could do it better. I just want to slap whoever is holding the control cause they aint got no skilz.
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-06-06 20:17:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wasn't aware that you had any, old man. Land Surfin? HA!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-06-06 20:16:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The only thing more boring than playing cards is watching other people play cards on TV. I don't understand that trend at all.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-06-06 20:14:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I won a $600 poker set from a scratch ticket and so did my Dad, so now we have 2 poker sets and we play poker.. maybe.. 3 times a year.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-06-06 20:13:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I suck at poker
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-06-06 20:11:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Eat my balls.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-06-06 20:08:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
poker > 3/4 of olympic games.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-06-06 20:07:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2006-06-06 20:01:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
poker is for idiots
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-06-06 19:58:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like how guys in professional eating contests are also considered athletes.