ETS and Electro Wilderness Survival Tape Footage! Straight From the Wilds of the Wild (1032 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.78 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by The Cyst Master (View user info) at 2006-06-08 19:28:48 EDT
Fuck that and fuck you.
I tied half inch diameter nylon twine around the head of my dick and attached it to the back of an ice cream truck. Then I ran backwards really fast.
I broke a whole bunch of blood vessels in my wiener. My dog thought I had herpes but I insisted it was merely from fucking some tight pussy. He didn't believe me. He ran away. Last I heard he was rescued by some animal control guys then was accidentally euthanized. What goes around comes around I guess. Tiger got upset. Everyone laughed at her. Fuck bitch, it was my dog anyway.
To keep you all up to speed, I have been leaking from just about every orifice of my body, especially my pee hole and rectum, except my dick and butt hole. This man-boy thing poured me a shot the other night. Turns out it was a shot of Chlamydia discharge. I should have known. Hell, I watched him drip it out of his cock into my shot glass but I'm just too gullible. I believed him when he said it was "dragon blood."
Bad news, guys. The actual reason I haven't been here is because there was a big accident. I crashed my car into the ocean and Poseidon explosive diarrhea'd himself to death, pretty much engulfing southnorthern Mizzura in a fog of menstrual juice, feces, and hardtack. You know, that stuff Civil War soldiers used to eat. Yeah, I didn't understand either.
Long story short, I lost my right index and pinky fingers. Vanilla Ice was pumped about my accident but my asshole was not. It's hard to wipe without the moral and physical support of all five digits. I got botulism almost immediately. I developed a lisp and as a result forgot how to cartoon.
So I am moving onto some other ill shit.
The NSFW tags should be warning enough.
If you're dumb, you won't click it.
If you're stupid, you won't click it at work and not turn the volume up mega loud and you most definitely won't wrap your penis around your wrist like a wristwatch.
NSFW ets and electro wilderness survival tape NSFW.wmv (4 MB) [video/x-ms-wmv]
User Reviews
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-11-08 17:09:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
LOLZENBERRY PIE
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-06-15 14:41:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gold Medal.
This post defines everything that is human about humans.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-06-09 17:33:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, I relented.
That is the funniest thing I've ever seen. What the fuck was she thinking?
HAHAHAHA! That was too funny.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-06-09 10:37:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FuzzyA55 (user info) at 2006-06-09 00:05:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
Green jello vomit. Very similar to Green Jelly, which makes me happy. +2
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I hope you mean Green Jelly, as in the band.
GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS! GREEN JELLO SUCKS!
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-06-09 09:53:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
syphilitic whore
Submitted by eppliks (user info) at 2006-06-09 09:25:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YES!
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-06-09 03:16:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not clicking on the link but the rest of the post made me laugh my ass off.
Submitted by FuzzyA55 (user info) at 2006-06-09 00:05:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Green jello vomit. Very similar to Green Jelly, which makes me happy. +2
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-06-09 00:05:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey look! It's my dad!
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2006-06-08 23:55:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
dear god
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-06-08 23:44:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was the most horrible thing I have ever seen.
+2!!!
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-06-08 22:47:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There's nothing wrong with that. Unless the fumes emitted kills everyone. Or turns them into freakos like that. In that case, let's burn everything that those people have ever touched.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2006-06-08 22:41:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-06-08 20:27:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2006-06-08 19:59:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
take the person who gets off on that, lock them in a tower, hit the tower with a wrecking ball, then light the wrecking ball on fire.
Why light the ball on fire at the end?
____
the wrecking ball would be contaminated; that's why it should be burnt at the end. If you light it first, your just putting on a show.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-06-08 22:36:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck this game.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-06-08 22:26:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hahaha. I get it. Its a pun. Its a play on words.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-06-08 21:11:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was nauseating.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-06-08 20:52:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-06-08 20:27:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2006-06-08 19:59:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
take the person who gets off on that, lock them in a tower, hit the tower with a wrecking ball, then light the wrecking ball on fire.
Why light the ball on fire at the end?
This would be better...
take the person who gets off on that, lock them in a tower, light the wrecking ball on fire then hit the tower with a wrecking ball while jerking your dick taco.
ps i love cats.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-06-08 20:25:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://moid.org/ed/1.swf
That's what I'm going to do to you tonight cyst.
Submitted by I_love_Kracka (user info) at 2006-06-08 20:09:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh my God... that was the worst thing I have ever seen. I think it was my daddy
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-06-08 20:08:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha ha ha......makes me want to masterbate into my own mouth.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2006-06-08 19:59:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
take the person who gets off on that, lock them in a tower, hit the tower with a wrecking ball, then light the wrecking ball on fire.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-06-08 19:56:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WHAT. THE. FUCK?
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-06-08 19:56:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lets fuck
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-06-08 19:43:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ain't working, stud.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-06-08 19:35:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.nymethod.com/bush_border_fence.php
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-06-08 19:34:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus Christ
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-08 19:33:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy jesus.