So It Goes (729 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.68 on 24 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by kL (View user info) at 2006-06-09 02:34:14 EDT
Sweat on her brow and stars in her hands. Alex pressed her pale, slender fingers to the window of the speeding bus; feeling the pulsating perspiration of the road. The world outside the bus was serene: the blurred transitory land, and the distant limitless sky. Alex lazed lost in the constellations and reflective visions through her fingers, wrapped in the immense ocean of her headphones. She loved the daze in translation that the late night buses offered her. A dreamy normalcy pervaded her psyche, and in a state of drugged familiarity, she slipped deeper into a heavy, open sleep.
In her slumbering solace, she could hardly awaken when she found herself disturbed by a stranger in the seat next to her. She roused slightly when she felt a thick arm nestle itself beside her. Alex blinked open her wet, glimmering, green eyes and managed a confused croak, "Hello?" "Hi!" the stranger chirped back, never taking his eyes off of hers, "My name's Cambie." He seems tame enough, thought Alex, and for some reason, explainable only by human behavior (ever so, ever so, ever so confusing) she grabbed his arm, pulled herself close, and nestled against his warmth. The ride slowly expired through dark streets and neon paths. Finally, as the bus jerked to one of its sudden stops, Alex awoke, wiped the innocent saliva from her mouth, and untangled herself. She sat up and sleepily rummaged through her bag before pulling a pen out. "Arm," she said. Cambie complied, extending his forearm to her. Alex grabbed it, and swiftly scratched her email address before gracefully clambering down the aisle, flying into the open dawn, and disappearing from view.
The bus began to roll again down a lonesome freeway. Cambie was left all alone to his mind's murmur, and the newfound emptiness beside him. Interrupting his thoughts, a static roar pierced the bus' air, and the driver spoke, "Excuse me! Factoid!" his voice was jolly and irritating, "To your left you may notice a Boeing Airplane hanger. Boeing uses this facility to build and store their airplanes. After being built, these planes are distributed to airlines, and flown around the nation. Thank you." His not-so-pithy comments were met with grumbles from the passengers, Cambie included. One voice, however, sounded clear. From the rear of the bus, someone voiced his disagreement with the interruption loudly, "Oh, my God! Ahhhh!" The riders collectively swivelled their heads to find the face for the voice. The driver, though, drove on while pretending not to have heard the dissent. A tall, blonde youth, massive dark circles under his eyes was standing in the rear. He leaned against the seat in front of him, lolling his head and panting in exasperation.
Cambie thought that something about him looked familiar, and pulled himself up to venture over and take a look. Coming closer, his recognition became clear.
"Mat! What're you doing here?" he said, a smile breaking the cracks which had formed on his face while sleeping. The outspoken youth was Mateja, an old teammate of Cambie's from a soccer club. "Wow, Cambie! Long time no see, eh? Oh, I'm just going home man. I thought I saw you earlier, but, as you can see, I couldn't have really gone to find out." He said, motioning to, presumably, his girlfriend lying across the seat.
"Yeah, no worries," said Cambie, adopting a confident, athletic stance, stretching his stiff legs. "Hey, why were you and your girlfriend sitting so far away from each other at the beginning of the trip?" Mateja asked. Cambie dropped his posing in surprise, "What? Huh?" Mateja continued, "You know? At the start of the ride, you guys were sitting like ten rows apart, but like three hours ago, you moved beside her and you guys were snuggling and shit for the rest of the trip."
"That wasn't my girlfriend, man," Cambie sheepishly confessed, smiling and showing her scrawled email on his forearm.
"Whoa!" Mateja jumped up slightly, rousing his girlfriend, who moaned against wakefulness. Mat shushed her to sleep before continuing, "So... what? She an old friend or something?"
"No," Cambie replied, "I just saw her reflection in her mirror and kind of watched myself walk over there. I think I did it because I knew that if I just sat there watching her for the rest of the trip, I'd be killing myself over it later." Mateja listened, looking intrigued.
"That's pretty cool, man," he said, "So you guys have no common threads, no mutual friends, it seems? Nothing?" "Well, we haven't really talked, but I assume so. She lives pretty far from me," Cambie replied. Mateja glanced at his girlfriend to make sure she was still asleep, and spoke, "Well, I've always kind of had this idea, and I think now might be an opportunity for it to, I don't know, happen." Cambie furrowed his brow, confused, "What are you talking about?" Mateja went on, "Well, I've always dated girls that I'm close to. Our lives become so connected and intertwined that they know everything about me. It's a nice, safe feeling, but I like it when a girl is intrigued. I like it when you're a mystery to a girl, and everything she finds out is magical, perfect, amazing. You know?" "Sort of, I guess," Cambie unsurely said. Mateja leaned closer, his big, round face striking with the black marks under his eyes, "How about you give it a try, see how it feels. How about with this girl, who's fresh, interested, and completely cut off from your truths, becomes our chance, my idea made real." Cambie interrupted, "I still really don't know what you mean." Mateja explained, "I want you to follow up on this girl, email her, phone her, start something. But, just to see how it feels, I want you to lie. Tell her that you're an expert masseur, that you can tame lions, that you play the glockenspiel, anything! That you're the heir to the Bahrainian throne. Whatever to make her idolize you, to impress her. I'd do it myself, but I'm with her." Again, he motioned to his girlfriend, "It's good and all but... I just think it would be so exciting to be someone amazing in a girl's eyes, right? It's a lot easier to change someone's perception of you than it is to actually change yourself, am I right?" Cambie managed a confused response, and an electronic bell signalled that it was his stop. He and Mateja made their goodbyes, then Cambie shouldered his pack and swung out the iron door into the morning.
After falling asleep again in his bed, Cambie awoke to find it mid-afternoon. He staggered to the computer and booted it up. As the screen came to life and his default programs began to turn on, he remembered the events of the previous night, and the new address on his forearm. He loaded his browser, and began to compose an email.
To: aaallleeexxx.at.hotmail.com <alex>
From: cambiestreet.at.hotmail.com <cambie>
Hello Friend!
Hope you had a good sleep last night, I know I did. Sorry for just coming over there, but I couldn't help myself, you just looked so gorgeous there, all by yourself. I never expected to have such an amazing night when I got on that crappy bus. Man, that driver annoys me. Thank God he was quiet when we were sleeping, small miracle. So, do you think maybe we could get together for something a bit more awake? How about coffee and a matinee tomorrow? Sunday's just like Saturday for me because I don't have any classes on Monday. I go to school at...
Cambie's thoughts stuttered at this point. He'd been a bit of a slacker in high school, and was taking classes at the local community college. He lived only a few minutes away from the state University, but its enrollment requirements were so high, he wasn't even close to being accepted there. He wasn't ashamed of going to community college, but he wasn't tremendously proud of it. Alex certainly wouldn't be too impressed by the fact...
I go to school at U of W. There are a lot of good little places around there...
And it began.
Epilogue
Cambie goes on to date Alex, lie to her about his extra curricular activities, his grades, his entire life. She falls in love with him, lies and truths. He also falls for her. As the year ends, he tries to find a way around it: to keep Alex without her finding about all of his lies and fragilities. He can't figure out a way, so he tells her that he was accepted into John Hopkins Medical faculty and is leaving. She supports him, and agrees that while they can't have a long distance relationship, there'll always be a place for him with her when he comes back. Cambie, of course, stays at the community college, and is spotted by Alex while working at a local coffee shop. She confronts him, they fight. She rides the original bus at night while Cambie roams the streets in grief. As she rides the bus and reminisces, she realizes that she loves him for who he is, believes him that he loves her, and is willing to disregard the lies. The bus driver makes another awkward comment which is met with an extraordinarily biting remark from Mat in the back of the bus. This causes the normally stoic bus driver to turn around and yell back at Mat. At that moment, Cambie walks across the street and is hit by the bus. He dies. Alex is stricken with grief, moments after realizing her true love. Shakespearian, no?
User Reviews
Submitted by GREEEN (user info) at 2006-06-11 00:27:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by cshape (user info) at 2006-06-10 03:34:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and what JonnyX said: Totally right, kind of rushed my point across in that dialogue, shitty shitty shitty.
Submitted by cshape (user info) at 2006-06-10 03:33:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks for the criticism guys.
Yeah the 'epilogue' was originally titled: UNFINISHED: THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS IN THE END.
But it seemed like kind of a sneaky ending this way, as if I'd actually finished it.
So yeah, that's why the ending is shit.
I pretty much agree with everything haha, too much adjectives, shitty format, no ending.
I'd correct all that, but I already handed this in for school, so I'll think about that stuff next time.
Thanks again.
Submitted by BrownEyedGirrl (user info) at 2006-06-09 16:59:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Holy adjectives BatBoy!!
Nice read though... lies always end in pain!!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-09 16:37:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
" I like it when you're a mystery to a girl, and everything she finds out is magical, perfect, amazing."
------
Nobody with a penos would EVER say this.
Submitted by Doodies (user info) at 2006-06-09 15:45:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Easy on the adjectives there, kid.
In the first two paragraphs alone they were so gratuitous, and they almost overwhelmed the story.
That's as far as I got, I must admit.
I hate flowery, simplistic, overdone description that makes a simple, yet powerful and magnetic story into an overwritten, somnambulant monster, which rears its head at inconvenient and inopportune times in spasms of hyperactive and pendulous prose that prevents me from finishing a story.
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2006-06-09 13:28:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool...formatting for uber would be nice, though.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2006-06-09 11:33:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
vonnegut auto +2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-06-09 10:26:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good story, but I'm willing to bet that there's an enter key on your keyboard somewhere.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-06-09 09:25:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Sorry to spoil the run man.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-06-09 09:09:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The formatting wasn't bad, except for the dialogue part.
Nonetheless, it was still a good piece.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-06-09 08:03:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good, but I would have liked to have seen the ending played out a little more.
-Dave
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2006-06-09 07:01:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A good read, thanks.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-06-09 06:47:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It was good, but i would feel bad giving you a +1 so have the +2. It wasn't great though. Format was shit in my opinion.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-06-09 06:29:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Formatting on Uber is so fucked up compared to normal shit.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-06-09 04:35:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I must be a fairly androgynous reader then.
My masculinity takes another hit.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-06-09 04:22:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Isn't it women who like mystery and men that prefer familiarity?
Submitted by cshape (user info) at 2006-06-09 04:17:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, I've actually been here for around three years. (user id in the 2000's) I just don't post a lot and suck at formatting the post in the good looking 'ubersite' way.
All gravy and... sleep.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-06-09 03:39:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's alright man, dont beat yourself up over it. You'll be alright here.
When I first started posting here, I learned much more about storytelling in two weeks than I had learned in 15 years of school.
Submitted by cshape (user info) at 2006-06-09 03:07:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait, yeah I don't know.
Probably didn't think it through all the way, a little bit far fetched, indeed.
Submitted by cshape (user info) at 2006-06-09 03:02:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmm, you might have missed something.
He goes to some diff. school than her. Then, at the end of the year, he says he moves away, but he actually doesn't.
Yeah, I'm not sure, maybe I just wrote it wrong and left something out. The epilogue was kind of note form.
Submitted by eleanor_rigby (user info) at 2006-06-09 03:01:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-06-09 02:55:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes, the format does look like shit.
I think I missed something. Is this a true story or not? Because even if it is, I'm having a hard time believing she never figured out that he doesnt actually go to the best party school in the country after dating for, what, a year? She never met his friends?
Good story anyway.
Submitted by cshape (user info) at 2006-06-09 02:38:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Gah, format looks like shit.