For Sale: 1 Slightly Used Player's Card (with wedding camwhores) (2094 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.78 on 78 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by nitty (View user info) at 2006-06-15 11:12:00 EDT
Nitty got married. See photos below:
One of me waiting at the altar. Do I look nervous? Yes? Nope. I was drunk. That takes the edge off of being nervous all day long.
One of the 'castle' we were married at. That's a fountain we're standing beside. I wanted to take a picture in it a la National Lampoon's European Vacation. Didn't happen. I think that was the Bourbon talking.
One of the first dance. "I Cross My Heart" by George Strait. You thought I was a redneck. This confirms it. Write that down. Note the rather large pimple on my headmeat. First pimple I'd had in about a decade. At least the first one that wasn't on my ass.
And of course, a photo of me preparing to grab my new bride's pooper. Some things never change.
Sorry to say that only 1 of you Uberites was invited, and he didn't show. He'll pay the piper come August when I make him laugh so hard I bet he slices into the woods. A hundred bucks.
More to come later...maybe.
nitty
User Reviews
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2007-03-23 14:10:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:05:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
congrats!
Submitted by PeopleAreStrange (user info) at 2006-06-20 11:58:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Congratulations. We got married at a castle as well. It looks like you had a wonderful day.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-06-19 07:50:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Good luck with all that.
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2006-06-18 14:46:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats,
Better you than me!
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-06-17 21:51:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
How'd you get her to levitate like that!?!???!
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-06-17 10:18:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks Nitts. Rub it in a little more. Ass.
I <3 You!
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2006-06-17 02:10:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If I ever get stationed at legeune me, you and daddy are meeting up for about a dozen or so drinks.
Congrats fag.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-06-17 01:29:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can I borrow some chin?
Submitted by eppliks (user info) at 2006-06-16 23:18:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jizz all over her wedding dress. It's actually common, like a christening thing.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-06-16 21:32:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I grab my own ass on an almost hourly basis, Shlongy.
I sent you the pics of it like you asked, didn't you get them?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-06-16 16:52:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
congratulations!
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2006-06-16 15:08:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats!
Everything looks very wonderful (mainly her gorgeous dress). :)
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-06-16 13:54:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope you were joking about the waterbed.
Otherwise, I'll be looking forward to the post about your fucked up back, in five years.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-06-16 12:22:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
congrats, etc.~!
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-06-16 12:20:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Helluva dancer. You must be very proud.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-06-16 12:15:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How's your wife and my kids?
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-06-16 04:58:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow. You're younger than I thought.
Congrats and don't have too many kids during the first five years!
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-06-15 22:22:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ooops
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-06-15 22:21:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
WHA?!?!?
OH.. now my heart is broken!!! <\3
<WEEEEEEEEEEEEPS>
congrats. sigh
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2006-06-15 21:10:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lets hear it for ugly children
Submitted by BrownEyedGirrl (user info) at 2006-06-15 18:43:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
let us know when the divorce comes through....
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-06-15 18:33:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know I think Mrs Nitty could apply for an annulment (if worst came to) on the grounds of you being drunk at the alter.
Better hide ubersite
Congratulations
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2006-06-15 18:19:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats man
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-06-15 17:38:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hmm...I never did say congrats.
Congrats.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-06-15 17:31:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The next ass you grab will be your first...and there's a 94.8% chance it'll be your own.
So pipe down, Barney Fife.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-06-15 17:28:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If she wasn't married now, I grab that ass, too.
What?
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-06-15 17:24:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congratulations. I like her dress.
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2006-06-15 16:32:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Boo-ya
Congrats.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-15 15:31:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nitty, I got you into my latest story, check it out
http://www.ubersite.com/m/89232
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2006-06-15 15:26:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-06-15 14:53:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
We can make a video like that one I saw on TV last week...where the bride was off in the garden getting slammed by the best man while the groom was looking for her.
-----------
Going back and watching the video from your wedding again, huh? Ah memories....
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-06-15 15:08:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, in this case, it ain't a place to make a withdrawl.
Or, maybe it is.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-06-15 15:08:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2006-06-15 15:04:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
I was at a wedding recently when the first dance was to Rock Sham - Tell Me Ma
Hilarity ensues
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The giraffe was there?
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-06-15 15:07:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, wow. I was way off. But I'm not tellin' nothing.
You'll just have to buy the video.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2006-06-15 15:04:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was at a wedding recently when the first dance was to Rock Sham - Tell Me Ma
Hilarity ensues.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-06-15 15:01:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's 'something to something,' and you should then be able to figure out the A and M.
It's also the second cousin of AMPAM, which is a practice detailed at length here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/82948#1804510
Apparently there used to be a bunch of guys in the DC area that were known as the AMPAM club. Wealthy dudes who rolled together from club to club, that whole deal. To get 'in' with them you had to let them do the name of their group to you. Proof that women will do anything to hang with the rich guys.
Of course, I shudder to think what men would lower themselves to if a group of ladies were offering so much as a communal handjob, let alone free drinks, meals, prestige and such.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-06-15 14:58:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is that some sort of acronym for something other than a machine that gives me money?
Ooh, wait. I think I get it now.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-06-15 14:55:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-06-15 14:47:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
What is an ATM?
---
Oh dear...
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-06-15 14:54:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congratulations!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-06-15 14:53:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I said I'd be there.
We can make a video like that one I saw on TV last week...where the bride was off in the garden getting slammed by the best man while the groom was looking for her.
It's a date.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-06-15 14:47:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2006-06-15 14:39:44 (#)
Ranking: -1
where can i download the video of nitty and shlongy tag-teaming tigerlilly?
i heard she finished them both off with a lil "ATM".
___________________________________________________________
What is an ATM?
And, I'm the only one with the video. It'll cost ya.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-06-15 14:44:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Congratulations...you better treat her like a princess for the rest of her life.
Or else....
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2006-06-15 14:39:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
where can i download the video of nitty and shlongy tag-teaming tigerlilly?
i heard she finished them both off with a lil "ATM".
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-06-15 14:27:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-06-15 11:58:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Or, I could just make it a point to be at his NEXT wedding, probably sometime in 2007.
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You better make that wedding. He will be marrying me.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-06-15 14:10:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hooray!
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-06-15 13:58:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
congrats
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-06-15 13:43:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I notice you never gave us a full-on picture of Mrs. Nitty's face. You've probably made a good decision.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-06-15 13:26:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Has the spousal abuse started yet?
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-06-15 12:55:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
congrats
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2006-06-15 12:33:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I see England.
I see France.
I see Nitty's wife's....cleavage.
Damn it....that didn't work.
Congrats, man.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-06-15 12:23:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You kind of look like a meathead.
I mean that as a compliment though.
Some of my best friends are meatheads.
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2006-06-15 12:21:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-06-15 12:18:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you poor poor dear
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-06-15 12:08:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You'd think Herbert J. would have given the groom away.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-06-15 11:58:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlongy had two weddings out of state within the same month as this one.
I figured I could just pick up People Magazine and find out what I missed at nitty's...
Or, I could just make it a point to be at his NEXT wedding, probably sometime in 2007.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-15 11:55:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What?
Uncle Shlongy didn't show up to collect his droit de seigneur?
I thought he'd for sure want to hit it...
(look it up if you don't know what it means, simpletons)
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-06-15 11:55:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're a very brave man, Shaky, to post those pictures.
I wish I knew how to photoshop.
Did you like my gift?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-06-15 11:48:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oooh, pretty.
I like the sparkle in her dress in the shot where you're totally palming her.
Congratulations.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-06-15 11:46:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus freaking 2
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2006-06-15 11:43:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
congrats.
maybe you'll get to see her naked <snickers>
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-06-15 11:31:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I keep a little dutch cabin boy in a cage in the linen closet at all times. He's there in case there's ever a leak in the dyke. Dike. Whatever.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-06-15 11:29:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome move, then. Just watch out if it breaks. Those things are bitches when they pop a leak.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-06-15 11:29:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-06-15 11:20:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-06-15 11:17:55 (#)
Ranking: 0
Good job on not showing her face. Don't want to offer TOO much ammo for the crowd.
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She is stunning.
===
I wouldn't doubt it. But YOU know how Uber is...
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-06-15 11:27:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-06-15 11:26:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Org -
Waterbed. My massive cranial protuberance floats. I always knew it was full of air.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-06-15 11:24:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No problem dude, there are lines that even I won't cross.
Unless you make me.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-06-15 11:23:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-06-15 11:17:55 (#)
Ranking: 0
Good job on not showing her face. Don't want to offer TOO much ammo for the crowd.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You have read my mind.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-06-15 11:23:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How will the marriage bed support your swollen melon?
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-06-15 11:20:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-06-15 11:17:55 (#)
Ranking: 0
Good job on not showing her face. Don't want to offer TOO much ammo for the crowd.
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She is stunning.
Nice pictures. Congrats.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-06-15 11:19:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
J - I knew when I sent that link to Patti I was loading your guns. I appreciate your self control.
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2006-06-15 11:19:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm glad I'm not you.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-06-15 11:18:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congratulations.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-06-15 11:17:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Those photos are very good. THey make you look like a minor television celebrity.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-06-15 11:17:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Good job on not showing her face. Don't want to offer TOO much ammo for the crowd.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-06-15 11:16:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
congrats
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-06-15 11:15:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I got the link a few weeks ago and I was so going to photoshop my head on your body and her head in my lap.
But I'm lazy.
Congrats dude.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-06-15 11:14:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
whaaaa?
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-06-15 11:14:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You're that asshole who stole my name then accused me of ripping YOU off