Camwhore - Virgin Teen Titty Sex Fuck (SFW) - You Know You Want Me (2486 hits)
Category: Business & FinancialRating: 1.04 on 82 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by SilvrWolf (View user info) at 2006-06-15 12:37:25 EDT
On the legal advice of Teeph, I offer you a post of crap in a feeble effort to acquire the internet currency known as hits. Happy Thursday, cunts.
Don't be gentle; destroy my fragile self-esteem!If I'm not shredded alive for this pic, I'll post one with my head up my own ass (or someone else's, depending on requests). I was not amused that mom felt the need to take this pic.
That said, BEHOLD! I HAVE EATEN A [POSSIBLY] LIVE SQUIRREL! There's still some on my chin...
User Reviews
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2007-10-05 14:22:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You remind me of someone from a movie. Possibly some kind of serial killer. Or FBI agent. Or both.
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-05 14:14:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you look like a young mr. big dick.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-05 13:42:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you look like a serial killer
Submitted by SGRPUSS (user info) at 2007-10-05 13:33:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sexy
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-10-01 14:14:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just saw this.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-06-16 01:02:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damned near a thousand hits.
You see where you were going wrong with that whole "quality" thing now?
Sure you do. Welcome to the 733T.
-----
Welcome to the TEET indeed.
Submitted by DangerPants (user info) at 2007-10-01 13:58:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-10-01 12:15:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You look like a young Hugh Laurie.
-----------
Clearly you don't watch enough Black Adder. He looks nothing of the sort.
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2007-10-01 12:53:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2006-06-29 12:17:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You look like Christian Bale in The Machinist. If that's what his name was.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-10-01 12:15:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You look like a young Hugh Laurie.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-09-20 13:46:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
um...... ok.
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2006-06-29 12:17:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You look like Christian Bale in The Machinist. If that's what his name was.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-06-29 11:30:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
trim the facial pubes. that'll knock a couple years off.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-06-29 11:11:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I turned 30 back in March. I appreciate you making me feel old, though. =P
<whimper>
<whimper>
<whimper>
<emo tears>
<sob>
<sob>
<lots of emo tears>
<sneeze>
<crack>
Oh lawdy! Was that mah hip?
<sob>
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-06-29 10:53:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
btw, i thought you were early to mid 20s. bout my age. you look about 32 or something in that. could be the facial hair though.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-06-16 14:20:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ladies, I'm serious now. Stop shoving. Your applications will be reviewed randomly, so there's no advantage in pushing to the front of the line.
Are Fridays so slow that this shit is still on the front page? I should post something even shittier to knock it off and sit up there for the weekend.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-06-16 09:02:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Whoa. You were right, Teeph. Although, I have to ask: Is that stabbing pain in the pit of my stomach just part of my soul dying? The exhiliration and simultaneous shame juxtapose nicely, though.
Oh well. At least I can be properly insulted on Uber. It maintains a nice emotional balance. Like Wierdo's comment: I nearly spit coffee on the monitor.
And hey, legallady pointed out that I looked younger and more vulnerable all passed out with a 2-liter bottle pseudo-sticking out of my ass, so I've got that going for me, too. Nothing screams 'approachable' like a man with a bent for alcohol and large empty soda bottles. I mean, I know I act immature on here, but how young did you people think I was? Not to diminish her opinion, of course; just a little early-morning self-deprecation.
Oh yeah, I'm single. Let's make it a personal ad:
---------
Hi, my name is Lucif-, uh, Sata-, shit! Oh yeah, "Jeremy".
I'm 30 years old and a Pisces born in the Year of the Dragon (har har mixed zodiology).
Turn-ons: puppy breath, kittens shaped like footballs and Lily Tomlin
Turn-offs: "classy" women, roast beef without provolone cheese, and oxygen
I like to go for long walks with that "special someone" in the woods up to my dungeo- uhhhh, cabin with pretty flowers, dancing gnomes, and...
and...
pixies! Yeah, pixies.
My idea of a perfect mate: I'm a carnivorous human. I need a woman who can kill and dress her own meat.
<"Honey, have you seen the rooster today?"
"I felt like chicken tonight - like chicken tonight." [complete with little dance number]
"Sweet.">
My mate must like tactile contact and cuddling. I'm big on kissing, too. I'm adventurous in intimate situations but only if the woman takes the initiative. Anal sex is okay, but she has to promise to go slow and use lots of lubrication.
Oh, and all ladies must enter into a contract that gives your ass to me and your soul to the devi-, UNICEF (heh heh. good one, dad).
---------
Hmmm. Not bad.
LADIES, LADIES, LADIES! Come on now! There's no need to fight. If everyone would just form a single-file line on the right over there, my assistant will be along shortly to collect your information.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2006-06-16 06:59:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Y HALO THAR DARK LORD! When did we get the evil hellspawn of Satan on here?
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-06-16 02:56:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You're awesome in House.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-06-16 01:16:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-06-15 12:38:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
You have a kind face.
---------------------
hahahahaha
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-06-16 01:02:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damned near a thousand hits.
You see where you were going wrong with that whole "quality" thing now?
Sure you do. Welcome to the 733T.
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2006-06-15 23:16:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My first thought ...What did you do time for?
But don't view your crime
as pedophilia. In your other cam
whore you did look much younger
and more vulnerable than this shot.
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2006-06-15 22:59:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Two words:
Leather Daddy.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-06-15 21:30:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-06-15 12:38:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
You have a kind face.
======
The kind only a mother could love. A mother mandrill babboon, that is. . .
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2006-06-15 21:12:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
so thats what a teen virgin titty sex fuck is
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2006-06-15 20:39:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That guy looks like a butch-raper.
He'll strike you on the bridge of your nose, and while you're wondering "Damn, what hit me on the bridge of my nose?" HE'S RAPING YOUR ASS, BITCH
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-06-15 20:06:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow. You look soooooooooooooooooooo gay.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Congrats on your first shit post. Don't worry, they get easier. As your soul dies, they get easier. Let the hits wash over you and numb any shame you may feel.
This too shall pass.
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2006-06-15 19:44:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If it worked for Shlongy, it'll probably work for you.
You fit my stereotype of an obsessive Uberuser, but I don't think you are an obsessive Uberuser. Just an Uberuser.
You probably shouldn't work with kids. Molester moustaches, although very dignified, don't go over well. Just take my word...
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-06-15 19:41:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Something of a change from the last camwhore I remember.
-Dave
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-06-15 19:38:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Playing the "homo card" is pretty much a sure-fire smash hit around these parts.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-06-15 19:19:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Beano: James Taylor is awesome. There's a lot of his music out there, too. You're actually watching England play foosball? I'm sure it's exciting and all but isn't the Cup on?
He who wishes to be addressed as Matt: A 12" knife is just not practical these days. I have a 7" S&W blade that will do most of the job. And for the rest of the work (bones are pesky): power tools. So, you still want me to babysit the kids Sat. night?
Shlongy: I've always admired the way you rate. I can honestly say that when you've rated me, if it was a turdpile, it got the -deuce and the good insult. And I've gotten the good ratings from you, too... and a good insult. Today's textual assault was subtle and deftly struck. And how can you go wrong with the homo card? We'll meet again...
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-06-15 18:35:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I assume you omitted the 12" knife in your hand
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2006-06-15 18:24:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
lay off the meth
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-06-15 18:15:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You look younger and more frowny than I thought you were.
In other news, I have James Taylor on iTunes...why the fuck didn;t i listen to this dude before?
In other other news I hay have had a beer while watcjing England play foosball.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-06-15 17:18:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's nice to be counted on.
You'll notice I didn't -2 you...because Shlongy likes you.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-06-15 17:05:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And Jonny's was good, too. Especially since DeathJester dropped the Vinyard reference.
That said, yeah, I need to get a haircut.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-06-15 17:02:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What the hell?!? I come back to find compliments and a few insults. At least I can rely on Shlongy.
And I give icky a 'B' for effort.
inion: how old did you think I was?
Submitted by BrownEyedGirrl (user info) at 2006-06-15 16:41:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
it's okay to smile...
unless you have a nasty piece of spinich in your teeth...
then I completely understand...
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-06-15 15:30:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
you're older than i thought you were.
brutal stache man.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-06-15 15:10:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-15 15:09:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's clever that you turned off the lights in the basement, so no one can see all the Nazi flags and regalia you have on the wall...
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-06-15 14:50:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You're prettier than I thought you were.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2006-06-15 14:42:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Derek Vinyard.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-06-15 14:29:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Off_The_Wagon (user info) at 2006-06-15 14:25:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
kill anyone for meth recently?
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-06-15 14:10:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I can see Jeremy Irons too. OK, so upper face Jeremy Irons (with Ernest Borgnine's eyebrows), lower face early Mel Gibson (circa Mad Max), cheekbones and hair color are somewhat reminiscent of William H Macy.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-06-15 14:08:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Who's that fag supposed to be?
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-06-15 14:07:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's a great title.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-06-15 14:06:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
YOU ARE THE HIDEOUS LOVECHILD OF MEL GIBSON AND WILLIAM H MACY!
That's the best I can come up with at the moment, sorry. I'll try to come up with something drier in a little while.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-06-15 14:05:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Everytime I see this on most reviewed, it reads Virgin Teen Tit-
...which my brain keeps completing as Virgin Teen Titans.
WTF?
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-06-15 14:00:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You DO look like Jeremy Irons. You actually remind me of Christian Bale a little too.
Not bad lookin' at all.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-06-15 13:52:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If it's any consolation silvr, I'll let you skin me and bury my corpse in your backyard like old times.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-06-15 13:50:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why, thank you, 'licious.
Would you like to touch my monkey?
Seriously though, thanks.
I must leave now. I have to admit that this has not gone like I expected it to. I despair not, though. I have the utmost confidence that I can view this post later tonight to find many terrible insults and general degradation. I know the Ubermasses will not fail me.
Hugs -n- Kisses,
SW
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-06-15 13:38:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I like your face.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-06-15 13:29:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What can I say, HV? I'm multifaceted.
I'm also pretty...
...pretty damned ugly.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-06-15 13:27:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh yeah, Tim? Well...
go have another latte from Starbucks, nancypants. And for God's sake, get a manicure already!
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-06-15 13:26:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-06-15 12:41:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
You look angry sir.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-06-15 12:38:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
You have a kind face.
============
You run the gambit don't you Slvr?
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-06-15 13:24:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
go watch a nascar race ya fuck
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-06-15 13:19:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There is one other camwhore of me, but I was passed out and my roomies took the pic. http://www.ubersite.com/m/60084
This is the first to show my face. I'm aware of the Rembrandt technique, but this was just a surprise pic my mom tried to spring and the flash failed to go off. The lattice on the wall is printed on a mirror.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-06-15 13:15:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Is this the first time you've ever camwhored?
The lighting in that picture is shit, man. There's a lighting pattern called "rembrandt" which this is close to emulating, but not close enough. And is that a trelis (um, however you spell it)?
yay camwhores, though!
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-06-15 13:15:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The Mission!
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-06-15 13:10:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's not so much heat I desire. The hits will roll in on google hits from the title alone. And Ax helped out with the word "porn".
As for Caul, he and I have an understanding about the Uber-realm. I know he doesn't take this place as seriously as people believe. Although, I suppose he'd play along...
Caulaincourt, you're a whiny homo cunt. AND you're Canadian.
HAR HAR MOOSEFUCKER!
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-06-15 13:06:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Craaaackk, mmehha,, memehh cCDRRRACCKKKKK!1
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-06-15 13:05:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Part 4 or part 5, indo? If it was part 5, then no.
Damnitalltohell! I knew that would come back to bite me in the ass.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-06-15 13:04:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you are really looking for heat, call Caul a whining cunt and post a picture of you bitchtits
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-06-15 13:03:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Didn't I see you on dateline last week?
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-06-15 13:02:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Misbehavior must not be punished, t_l_s! However, if they're well-adjusted and properly mannered, I will stab and slash with extreme prejudice.
Oh, sorry - EXXXTREME prejudice.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-06-15 12:59:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuschia, gank.
Or Taupe, I can't remember.
Ok, 30 more minutes of camping and I must take my leave.
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2006-06-15 12:58:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OOOO LA LA! TRES SEX-AY!! I want you to be the stabber of my children when they misbehave.
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-06-15 12:55:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jeremy Purple?
Jeremy Mauve?
Jeremy Chartruse?
I know it's gotta be a gay ass name like that.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-06-15 12:55:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
MANIC: That'd make a great .gif! I'll send them with my holiday emails to my overtly religious family in NC. That'll make for great Christmas banter.
"So, Jeremy, when did you become the concubine of Lucifer?"
"Last month. Why?"
"How's that working out for you?"
"Not too bad. The hours suck, though."
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-06-15 12:50:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.jeremy-irons.com/portraits/images/portraits43f.jpg
http://ffmedia.ign.com/filmforce/image/article/574/574981/jeremy-irons-20041221051651434-000.jpg
http://porlacarretera.hautetfort.com/images/medium_jeremy_irons-.jpg
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-06-15 12:49:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
somehow I expected crackling flames to leap up in the background, followed by evil laughter.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-06-15 12:48:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
bamf: AHAHAHAHA! My first name is actually Jeremy. Alas, where he is metal, I am a color.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-06-15 12:47:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
loki, smiling makes me even more angry. And you can't scare children with a smile - not even mine. I've tried it.
I happen to like the dungeon. It's actually because the walls are red cedar and the flash didn't go off. HA! That's what you get, mom! Besides, it would've just been a brighter picture of me looking angry.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-06-15 12:46:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jeremy Irons?
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-06-15 12:43:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Squatty: only on Tuesdays and Labor Day
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-15 12:43:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-06-15 12:42:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
are you in a dungeon?
would it kill you to smile?
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-06-15 12:42:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Goddamnit, Cyst! Berate me!
I demand insults!
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-06-15 12:42:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
rape kids much?
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-06-15 12:41:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Your face looks like its raping me. You sir are a very creepy person.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-06-15 12:41:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You look angry sir.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-06-15 12:38:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You have a kind face.