Oh my love (908 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.83 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by matnotharry <mattreallysmells.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2006-06-15 18:21:16 EDT
Oh my darling, my lady love - look at what you have become.
You're a shadow of your former self, my dear, and I cannot help but share the anguish I see in your shining eyes. Sitting there depleted, your bubbly personality silenced. Oh my love.
I remember when we first met, standing in the supermarket - I nearly walked right by. I would have left the isle and the store too had I not been snagged by that smell. Oh that smell, I was ready for anything but that. Your fragrance reminded me of lavender fields in springtime near my mother's house and I fell in love with it, and the memories it brought back.
I knew then that I had to have you.
We were back at my apartment a week later. Standing there, naked as the day we were born, I soaked in your beautiful figure - you had parabolas that could have rivalled any model. I took you in my palm and ran my hand over my body. We knew the consequences and sent them packing; come hell or high water we'd stick together.
It wasn't always rosy. You never said but I began to suspect you had issues with my shape, I know it's unusual and my lack of self-confidence made me clumsy. Remember that time I chased you round the bathroom; your slippery body, wet from the tub, evading me till I slid on the water and cracked my behind on the floor. You doubled up with silent mirth, perching on the side of the bath.
So many memories, so long ago.
Oh my love.
What have you become?
User Reviews
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-02-05 18:47:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow. Really. For some reason I fully expected this post to suck. Probably because I thought would be some stupid lovey-dovey V-day shit. But this was hilarious!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-02-05 18:19:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I went through most of your archives today. Uber was dead and to be honest, I was surprised as I though you were a nOOb. :)
Yes, the house is an the Midlands. Still own it but rent it out. The tenants don't know a thing about its past but have commented on some strange stuff happening.
Warwick is full of ghosties, they have some good Ghost walks there, if you are interested in that sort of thing.
It is also full of backwards, inbred chavs. The Midlands is brimful of them. Where did you come from? The US?
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-07-03 04:01:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-07-02 18:24:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
http://tinyurl.com/gyhjk SFW
I defy you to watch this just once. I've been reloading it over and over and giggling
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What in the name of acid was that about!
Genius though, very genius
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-07-02 18:24:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://tinyurl.com/gyhjk SFW
I defy you to watch this just once. I've been reloading it over and over and giggling
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-06-30 11:57:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just thought I would share that I still laugh at this:
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-06-16 18:04:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-06-16 13:49:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
boys have a penis
girls have a vagina
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oh no....OH NO!!!
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-06-16 18:52:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-16 18:15:48 (#)
Ranking: 1
HEY, thanks for reminding me, I've got to pick up soap from the grocery store
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No worries mate, it was my intention afterall
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-16 18:15:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
HEY, thanks for reminding me, I've got to pick up soap from the grocery store
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-06-16 13:49:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
isle = aisle
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-06-16 03:51:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2006-06-15 21:04:31 (#)
Ranking: -2
*
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you
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?
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2006-06-15 21:04:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
*
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you
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-06-15 19:36:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-06-15 18:54:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
HA I LIKED THE PART WHERE I THOUGHT YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT A GIRL.
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Sacrilicious is my wife. The above sentence indicates why.
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2006-06-15 19:34:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This post is a lesson to anyone who wants to do this sort of thing, where the story itself alludes to something, often sexual, but the actual concept is something much more simple and, well, unsexual.
1) WRITE THE DAMN THING WELL!
2) For Christ's sake, make sure the picture can't be seen while the text is being read.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-06-15 19:32:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HeHe
-Dave
Submitted by Paul_Monroe (user info) at 2006-06-15 19:21:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-06-15 18:54:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
HA I LIKED THE PART WHERE I THOUGHT YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT A GIRL.
__________________
You mean he's not?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-06-15 18:54:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HA I LIKED THE PART WHERE I THOUGHT YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT A GIRL.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-06-15 18:52:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very well written. Knew something was up but it was good.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-06-15 18:41:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-06-15 18:33:57 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-06-15 18:23:41 (#)
Ranking: 1
You lie. There is no good production of Oliver.
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To be fair this was done by 12-14 year olds, and it was pretty good
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Point conceded. 12-14 year olds can do Oliver as well as it can be done.
Submitted by BrownEyedGirrl (user info) at 2006-06-15 18:41:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
made me smile...
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-06-15 18:40:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
isawaproductionofolivertonightitwasquitegood.jpg????
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-06-15 18:33:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-06-15 18:23:41 (#)
Ranking: 1
You lie. There is no good production of Oliver.
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To be fair this was done by 12-14 year olds, and it was pretty good
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2006-06-15 18:25:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
har har dont drop the soap
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-06-15 18:23:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You lie. There is no good production of Oliver.