Do You Look In The Mirror? (509 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.08 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Abbey Rae (View user info) at 2006-06-17 23:18:23 EDT
I find that looking in the mirror when drunk is toxic. You can be having the best buzz ever, but when you look in the mirror, you realize you are just some drunk fuck.
I tend to think about the fact that I am usually a sober person, and then I wonder why I let myself get so wasted.
My friends contend with me, saying they enjoy looking in the mirror after imbibing.
I would rather not waste time running to the bar's bathroom and checking myself out, when I could instead be on the dance floor, letting other people check me out!
What about you guys? You look in the mirror and you like it, or no?
User Reviews
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-11-23 13:18:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I found a study about you...
http://links.jstor.org/sici?sici=0036-6773%28191606%2924%3A6%3C450%3AASORSC%3E2.0.CO%3B2-3&size=LARGE
fucking do it.
Submitted by Snuffleupagus (user info) at 2006-11-23 13:02:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Nowai, his comment only got this a +1.
"Again the mirror image mocked her with mimickery."
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-06-28 12:24:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-05-26 18:14:58 (#)
Ranking: -2
NO SYMPATHY FOR FUCKING PUSSYLIPPED GEEKS
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Sorry about that, it just seemed like the proper initiation into uber's ranks.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-19 16:22:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Happily_Agnostic (user info) at 2006-06-18 00:20:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for HighVoltage900's story, not your shit-ass attempt
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2006-06-18 01:05:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wait
Wait
Just a few more seconds
Ahhh that's it.
You suck.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-06-18 00:22:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh good, dipshit broke the -2 streak, so I don't feel obliged to do it myself.
That's nice...
Submitted by Happily_Agnostic (user info) at 2006-06-18 00:20:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for HighVoltage900's story, not your shit-ass attempt
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-06-18 00:16:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Candyapple had just finished applying her make up as best as her drunken hands would allow whilst staring into the bathroom mirror of the bar she was hitting. At first she thought "Hey I should go back outside because those 3 middle aged biker guys were finally beginning to make comments on how I look! I wonder what they meant by 'Get over her bitch so I can cut ya and fuck the slit.'?"
It was at that moment that Candyapple noticed the mirror. Really NOTICED it.
"Oh. My. God." She whispered, "That's ME in the mirror! Holy cow how did I get in there?"
Candyapple stood there starring at her mirror self for a moment before she realized that this must be a portal into another dimension where she had an alter ego. Communication must be made.
"Hello? HELLO?!?! DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?!?!" She yelled at the mirror, but to no avail. The mirror Candyapple didn't respond besides wordlessly mocking her by mimicking her speech. Candyapple assumed that this alter ego must speak Spanish, of which she knew none because she was too busy tossing salads instead of attending 10th grade Spanish class. A new method of communication must be attempted.
Candyapple began making hand gestures to the alter ego in the mirror trying to communicate something. First she waved emphatically. Then she pointed to herself and waved. Then she jumped up and down. Again the mirror image mocked her with mimickery. This alter ego was a bitch!
Pissed off, Candyapple went out to the biker guys and, (for a semi-violent groping) convinced them to let her borrow a pistol. She went back into the bathroom, pistol in hand ready to show the alter ego who was boss.
By the time she got there, the alter ego Candyapple had gone and gotten a pistol of her own and returned! Candyapple screamed in realization that her alter ego was going to try and kill her and began firing wildly. Shaking from fear and booze she managed to hit nothing except a wall and the soap dispenser.
The alter ego was a much better shot though. Having lived a life where she wasn't a stupid drunken daft slut, alter-Candyapple had gone through life advancing herself in any field she attempted. One of which was marksmanship. With a keen eye she shot Candyapple in the head with a bullet that went through the mirror and splattered brains and blood over the bathroom walls.
"Jesus christ," alter-Candyapple said, "I hope not all of MY alter egos are that pathetic."
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-06-17 23:56:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm gonna make a change, for once in my life
It's gonna feel real good, gonna make a difference
Gonna make it right...
As I, turn up the collar on my favorite winter coat
This wind is blowin' my mind
I see the kids in the street, with not enough to eat
Who am I, to be blind? Pretending not to see their needs
A summer's disregard, a broken bottle top
And a one man's soul
They follow each other on the wind ya' know
'Cause they got nowhere to go
That's why I want you to know
I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
(If you wanna make the world a better place)
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change
(Take a look at yourself, and then make a change)
(Na na na, na na na, na na, na nah)
I've been a victim of a selfish kind of love
It's time that I realize
That there are some with no home, not a nickel to loan
Could it be really me, pretending that they're not alone?
A willow deeply scarred, somebody's broken heart
And a washed-out dream
(Washed-Out dream)
They follow the pattern of the wind, ya' see
Cause they got no place to be
That's why I'm starting with me
(Starting with me!)
I'm starting with the man in the mirror
(Ooh!)
I'm asking him to change his ways
(Ooh!)
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
(If you wanna make the world a better place)
Take a look at yourself and then make a change
(Take a look at yourself and then make a change)
I'm starting with the man in the mirror
(Ooh!)
I'm asking him to change his ways
(Change his ways-Ooh!)
And no message could've been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
(If you wanna make the world a better place)
Take a look at yourself and then make that...
(Take a look at yourself and then make that...)
Change!
I'm starting with the man in the mirror,
(Man in the mirror-Oh yeah!)
I'm asking him to change his ways
(Better change!)
No message could have been any clearer
(If you wanna make the world a better place)
(Take a look at yourself and then make the change)
(You gotta get it right, while you got the time)
('Cause when you close your heart)
You can't close your... your mind!
(Then you close your... mind!)
That man, that man, that man, that man
With that man in the mirror
(Man in the mirror, oh yeah!)
That man, that man, that man
I'm asking him to change his ways
(Better change!)
You know... That man
No message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
(If you wanna make the world a better place)
Take a look at yourself and then make a change
(Take a look at yourself and then make a change)
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Na na na, na na na, na na, na nah
(Oh yeah!)
Gonna feel real good now!
Yeah yeah! Yeah yeah! Yeah yeah!
Na na na, na na na, na na, na nah
(Ooooh...)
Oh no, no no...
I'm gonna make a change
It's gonna feel real good!
Come on!
(Change...)
Just lift yourself
You know
You've got to stop it. Yourself!
(Yeah!-Make that change!)
I've got to make that change, today!
Hoo!
(Man in the mirror)
You got to
You got to not let yourself...
Brother...
Hoo!
(Yeah!-Make that change!)
You know-I've got to get that man, that man...
(Man in the mirror)
You've got to
You've got to move! Come on! Come on!
You got to...
Stand up! Stand up! Stand up!
(Yeah-Make That Change)
Stand up and lift yourself, now!
(Man in the mirror)
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Aaow!
(Yeah-Make that change)
Gonna make that change... come on!
(Man in the mirror)
You know it!
You know it!
You know it!
You know...
(Change...)
Make that change!
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-06-17 23:35:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You caught me in the middle dazed on the carpet
I was following the lines,
that move like more snakes thinking...
Something ain't quite right
You got the devil on your side,
standing to your right come on
You caught me in the middle dazed and confused
I was following the good steps,
fancy free and footlose.
Something ain't quite right
You got the devil on your side,
standing to your right come on
I get along, I get along, I get along, I get along...
Get along
(Get Along, Get Along, Get Along, Get Along, Get Along, Get Along, Get Along, Get Along)
It's coming out my ears,
so baby here's what we'll do
There's four for you and six for him,
and four for her and let me see now
Now something ain't quite right
You can get them on your side,
then we'll have a good time, come on!
I get along, I get along, I get along, I get along...
Get along
I get along just singing my song,
People tell me I'm wrong..
Fuck 'em!
It's coming out my ears,
so baby here's what we'll do
There's four for you and six for him,
and four for her and let me see now.
Now something ain't quite right
You got the devil on your side,
Standing to your right, come on!
I get along, I get along, I get along, I get along...
And when I do, I'm singing... get along!
(Get Along, Get Along, Get Along, Get Along, Get Along, Get Along, Get Along, Get Along)
Submitted by Candyapple (user info) at 2006-06-17 23:29:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No, it makes you more along the lines of a whore for alcohol :(
____________________________________________
That's probably true...but it's REDICULOUS what they charge for alcohol these days! A bartender told me about an hour ago that most restaurants charge four times the amount it costs them. Crazy, huh?
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-06-17 23:27:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Candyapple (user info) at 2006-06-17 23:22:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
I am most definitely not gay...straight as an arrow, although I've been known to kiss a few girls for free drinks...does that make me a crooked arrow? :)
_________________________
No, it makes you more along the lines of a whore for alcohol :(
Submitted by Candyapple (user info) at 2006-06-17 23:22:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am most definitely not gay...straight as an arrow, although I've been known to kiss a few girls for free drinks...does that make me a crooked arrow? :)
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-06-17 23:20:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You must be one of those gay people I've heard about.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-06-17 23:19:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Auto +2 Abbey Road
Auto -4 horrible post