Sitting On Pins and Needles (1115 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.67 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by :D (View user info) at 2006-06-19 05:57:11 EDT
Submitted by MrSmiley (user info) at 2006-06-18 11:24:19 (#)
I am neither as female nor as well known as Sacrilicious.
I have a story for that title though.
My story.
But I do not know whether I should write it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1986.
It is only as I write this that I realise it has now been 20 years.
My how time does pass.
18 years old. She is 17.
I bought her a rose. I wanted to get some other flower. Something unusual. But I could not think of anything.
I cut all the thorns off myself.
My first date. Most people would never think about dating me because I am odd.
But Stacy was not most people.
I was never interested in girls but Stacy made me feel different. She made me feel alive.
When I think about her now I feel my pins and needles most.
When she spoke to me I felt as if on fire. But as if I was supposed to be on fire.
I was going to take her bowling. I felt happy walking down the road with a rose in one hand and a walkman in the other.
'Don't stop me now,
I'm having such a good time'.
5 years old. Arguing.
I'd always remembered that clearly. They were telling us to be wary of strangers but they would not tell me what the strangers might want. They could not even explain why they would not tell me.
I had never remembered having pins and needles before.
I interrupt the woman who is telling me off. I say my legs feel weird. She asks what I mean and I say I feel strange all up my legs and on my arse and my dick. They did not like me using those words but they would never tell me why not. I say pins and needles.
Moving fast. I can hear voices.
Saying what is his name.
I am not listening. I am thinking about the pins and needles in my legs.
Saying Andrew. Andrew can you hear me. Andrew can you open your eyes.
I think about sitting up and rubbing my legs but I am very tired.
8 years old. Arguing.
I am very angry with him. He lied to me and I am shouting.
Shouting at him why did he tell me all that. He says all what and I tell him all that about god. I tell him none of it is real.
He says it is and I do not understand and I am crying and I start rubbing my legs.
He asks me if I am alright and I say my legs feel weird. I say I have pins and needles.
I had never remembered having had pins and needles then before.
I am so very tired.
I can hear voices murmuring. I can not hear properly but I catch something about there being no sign of brain damage.
That is good because they are talking about me I think. I wonder what has happened to me.
17 Years old.
A girl asks me if I can pass her a pen and I can not move. It was the first time I saw Stacy. She must have thought it was just me being odd but it was not. I felt like someone had tipped a bucket of ice over me.
Then I say yes so quietly she must not have heard me and handed her a biro. I wonder why I have pins and needles. I never used to have pins and needles in this memory.
The doctor asks me how I am feeling and I realise that I am awake. I am in hospital. I tell him I am hungry and he says that is normal.
I see the clock and realise I have missed my date with Stacy.
He tells me I was hit by a car. I did not hear it coming because of my walkman.
He tells me I have been in a coma for 6 months.
And I know that Stacy has gone to university now.
In America just like she always wanted.
He tells me he has some bad news. He tells me I am paralysed from the waist down and I will not get better.
He touches one of my toes and asks me to tell him if I feel anything.
I tell him yes I feel it.
I tell him I feel pins and needles.
People never think about dating me because I am odd and I am in a wheelchair.
But there was a girl once.
A girl called Stacy.
Out there somewhere is a woman called Stacy. She is probably married. She probably has children. I think she must remember me sometimes. If someone is crippled on the way to picking you up for a date you would probably always remember that.
And I remember her.
From the time I wake up to the moment I fall asleep. Every second of every day. In all of my dreams and all of my nightmares I am reminded of her.
Stacy.
My pins and needles.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/89324
User Reviews
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-06-29 14:51:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This round ends in about 30 hours
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-06-25 00:10:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MrSmiley (user info) at 2006-06-18 11:24:19 (#)
I am neither as female nor as well known as Sacrilicious.
I have a story for that title though.
My story.
But I do not know whether I should write it.
======
Good tactic, that.
But you obviously didn't need it. I really like this. I like this whole idea, actually. Congratulations on the round.
Submitted by Matin_Morte (user info) at 2006-06-23 21:28:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Pretty good.
Submitted by whysenheimer (user info) at 2006-06-23 20:28:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very nice.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-06-23 16:01:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-06-20 07:58:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't rate that Liscious MrSmiley is my project
---
Nevermind the autobiographical comment, as you're clearly an alter.
Why not just participate with your real account, Woods?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-06-23 15:32:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"When she spoke to me I felt as if on fire. But as if I was supposed to be on fire.
I was going to take her bowling."
There's something about having "bowling" immediately follow a one-two punch of poetry like that that makes me roll my eyes AND pay attention. Fancy that.
I thought this was very good. I know you said it's your story, but I hope you'll forgive me if I didn't read it as autobiography. I didn't want my rating to reflect my feelings about your situation, just what you'd written. And what you wrote was ace.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-06-21 00:39:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-06-20 14:50:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A few minor...and I mean REALLY minor grammatical errors not withstanding, this was fabulous.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-19 20:11:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-06-19 08:09:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Poor Berty. =(
ha
Submitted by Boatplank (user info) at 2006-06-19 14:25:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-06-19 14:18:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
1.5, and good work
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-06-19 14:18:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I really do like it, but I think maybe I heard pins and needles one too many times for it to work all the way for me.
Submitted by Sockster (user info) at 2006-06-19 14:00:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sworn (user info) at 2006-06-19 11:32:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was excellent! Absolutely brilliant! Very heartwarming.
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2006-06-19 10:30:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i liked it but it kinda felt like it was on the edge of becoming too 'george michael-y'
otherwise it was a solid story and the writing style you used made it seem pretty impactful
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2006-06-19 10:19:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Liked it a lot.
Submitted by swedish_pump (user info) at 2006-06-19 10:09:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Was remionded of the Deadzone for some reason, but i liked.
Submitted by dove666 (user info) at 2006-06-19 09:34:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
very good.
Submitted by PeopleAreStrange (user info) at 2006-06-19 09:15:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good story!
Submitted by Leonfc (user info) at 2006-06-19 08:35:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Back of the net!
Submitted by livEvil (user info) at 2006-06-19 08:34:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
not bad
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-06-19 08:10:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was really good
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-06-19 08:09:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Poor Berty. =(
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2006-06-19 07:50:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now there's some solid writing.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-06-19 07:09:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty damn good.
-Dave
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-06-19 06:50:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah one or two, but on the whole it was very good.
Submitted by MrSmiley (user info) at 2006-06-19 06:01:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There are a couple of lines in this I think are not quite right but it is too late now.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-06-19 06:01:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nuff said