Noted Implicity (607 hits)
Category: Sound & MusicRating: 1 on 3 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Banga3386 <tanzia682.at.aol.com> (View user info) at 2006-06-19 06:10:08 EDT
Here is a song I've been working on for a couple days. Nothing fancy I'm just trying to build my songwriting skills. I know it might seem a little emo but the subject matter is difficult to write about without sounding goth, stupid, and over dramatic. Also the music to accompany it is crunchy and riff heavy, except for the bridge. Enjoy.
(Verses sung like Burton on Demanufacture)
NOTED IMPLICITY
1
I am alive now
I can feel again
It doesn't matter
Only the aching does
I invite it in
I draw it out
Everything fades away
My moment is here
This is what works for me
The touch
The tear
The thrill
I am here, I am strong
2
Can't tell you why
Won't tell you how
I'm hurt again
I've hurt again
This is mine
This is for me
It's all wrong
This hurt that is here
I search for help
And find only blood
Where there was no fear
Now is only shame
Hurt for hurt
Relief to disgrace
3
I yearn for a life
A love without scars
Exhaustive task taking too long
Too soon I am back at the source
There is no confusion
I know what I am doing
I know where it will take me
Take me take me back
Back to the seething mania
(Chorus like Randy from LoG or George Fischer from Cannibal)
Chorus
(And) But now I'm here
Here is what I want
Here is where I can feel
Feeling so much better
So much higher than before
In my quiet place
With my secret tools
Far away from you. You
You cannot know
You will not know
You do not conceive
Only your judgments I hear
Your fears- your thoughts
Your looks away
That is why I'm here
It takes, me, home
(Bridge like clean Burton C. Bell or Rob Flynn of Machine Head)
Bridge
I have no doubts about what I do
I'll surcease when I'm satisfied
It is the urge that drives me on
Stop, no I don't think I can
User Reviews
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:58:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hi Banga. I liked the lyrics and the chorus... and the psychedelic pic or artwork at the end. I'm curious what 'timing' or beat the song will have (2/4, 3/4, 4-4, other?) One blatantly obvious tip and something I read by a top song writer: "Borrow." I suspect he did this when he got stuck or had (song) writers block.
Related but obscure: a) You may or may not have noticed that the media is having a little fun with Paul McCartney and the simple song he wrote about when he would get to age 64. e.g. "Will you still feed me / will you still need me... when I'm sixty four?" (Paul just turned 64 :-)
Sadder is the story of Yoko Ono, who hated chocolate but always bought it and kept a stock for John. I just read how Yoko ate the last piece of John's chocolate, alone... shortly after John's death. Yoko got a LOT of bad press but the image of her grieving over her soul-mate, alone gets her a vote of confidence for being a real human being - after all.
Peace
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-06-19 07:58:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I used to write stuff like this in the summertimes.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-06-19 06:25:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
the word conceive doesn't flow so well after can not know will not know in my opinion.
I used to write stuff like this sometimes.