Typical (511 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.75 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by LittleMonster (View user info) at 2006-06-19 07:00:18 EDT
It was father's day yesterday in England, I haven't lived there or spoken to my father for some time, but I still felt obliged to give him a call. It was a beautiful day here yesterday and as I sat in the sunshine with a cool beer and munched a bit of Tapas, I tried to get together what I was going to say to him. I really don't enjoy talking to him; he can still reduce me to a mumbling idiot from a few thousand miles away. He intimidates me and it always results in me trying to justify my life choices. I never forgave him for how he treated us (us being my sister, mother and I ) and he never forgave me for.......well actually I don't know, he's always been angry at me.
He once refused to see me for a while when I was younger because I was starting to closely resemble my mother. It really upset me the last time I saw him, he kept calling me by her name.
I find him really hard to understand. If I had children I would want to be part of their lives. I know he has another family now, and I genuinely want him to be happy, but does the price of that include shutting the previous marriage's kids out of your life? It does of course take two to Tango and I know I haven't been making the effort in recent years, but he stopped my visits to his house when I was 10. It's been a constant battle to get him to acknowledge my existence ever since and to be honest, it was more than a little heart braking being constantly disappointed.
I really want to talk to him about it all, but it always ends up in the same conversation about our jobs, never finding out anything of value and importance. I want to ask him why he cheated on my mother; I want to ask why he refused to eat a single meal with my sister and I. I want to ask why he thought that removing the light bulbs from my bed room and locking me in there at night would CURE my fear of the dark, and why after 5 months of listening to me scream and hyperventilate with fear, did he not try a different approach (for the record, it wasn't until I was 14 I could sleep with the light off).I know that I won't ask these things, I will keep it light hearted and painless as possible.
No. Sod it, I have nothing to lose. I decide I'm not going to talk to him about the above, but I am going to talk to him about my life here and inquire about his there. I decide I'm going to tell him not only about my job, but my friends here too, my new flat, Angus (my cat). Most of all though, I want to tell him about Angel. I have fallen in love and I'm engaged. I want to ask him if, down the line when we are ready, if he would give me away. I want him to meet Angel, I want him to shake the hand of the man who is single handedly saving my life. He saves me from myself and my past, but also puts up with more than I care to tell you. I want my father to come out here and meet the man that one day is going to be the father of his grand children.
Full of enthusiasm and with an over whelming urge to tell my dad I love him, I dial his number.
Fucker wasn't in.
User Reviews
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-07-04 23:33:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, who are you anyways, email me. Average.dan.at.gmail.com
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-07-04 04:02:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
funny.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-07-04 03:06:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know monster, if my dad was James Brown, I'd try and make it up to him. I mean, he IS the hardest working man in Showbiz.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2006-06-19 10:32:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks for the advise. I think you may have a point about my father
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2006-06-19 10:28:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can sympathise, I don't have a close thing with my father. From the sounds of it though I would say Hold Angel close and keep talking to him about how you feel and stuff. Sometimes we just have to move on and realise that right Now is more important.
If he makes no effort to be in your life then maybe your life is better off without him, and he doesn't deserve a place in it.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-06-19 10:03:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It's not awful. Something was missing. I don't know what. I'm going to give you a +1 becuase i did enjoy it, but something wasn't right. Nice try though!
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2006-06-19 07:05:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm sorry for this, I'm tired