An Erection at Church(redone) (402 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.75 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Dustin (View user info) at 2006-06-19 09:50:13 EDT
Last night I called my dad to wish him a happy Fathers Day, and we started to reminisce on old times. He recalled one day embarrassing day at church, and my memories came flooding back.
I was about seven years old and we waiting to partake of the sacrament in our weekly services. I was sitting near the front, just to the right of the pulpit, and the room was eerily quiet. I don't remember much, but I do remember whispering something to my father.
"Dad."
"Shhh."
"Daadd"
"Shhh, Quiet." A few people turned there heads and glared disapprovingly.
I needed him to here me. Something strange was going on and I was a bit perturbed. I was sitting on the bench, my hands covering my crotch, and I was hunched over towards the floor.
"Buuttt daaaadd," I said a little louder now. I looked up at him my face pleading for help.
"What?!?" he whispered harshly. People were starting to look at us
"My peep hurts!" I shouted this part because I was angry now. "It's standing straight up!"
I heard chuckles rise up from the conversation.
My dads face turned beet red and my mom looked ill like she might faint. "Shh!" It was a very embarrassed sound.
"But it hurts, my peep it won't go down!" I was doing a half whine half shriek and I wanted the solution to my answer.
My father stood up grabbed my wrist and marched me towards the doors. Everyone in the room was trying to stifle their laughter. Even the bishop looked ready to burst. My dads face was beet red.
He took me outside into the foyer and sat me down in a chair. We stayed there for the rest of the meeting. He told me he'd never been so embarrassed.
User Reviews
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-19 12:39:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What the hell is a peep?
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2006-06-19 12:27:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"Even the bishop looked ready to burst."
they do like little boys.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2006-06-19 11:29:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Why?!
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2006-06-19 10:22:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
...you didnt do anything but add, like, a sentence or two more...same story, more wordy=worse
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-06-19 10:13:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2006-06-19 10:07:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No better really.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-06-19 10:03:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Feel free to take creative liberties with your anecdotal stories so maybe, just maybe, they won't bore the ever-loving shit out of us.
And work on your homophones, for the love of Bart.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-06-19 09:53:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Same problems. Not very interesting. Stealing the top spot again. Just a bit of a boring story to be honest mate.