On Pins and Needles (1279 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesLabels: fiction
Rating: 1.58 on 38 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sacrilicious (View user info) at 2006-06-20 02:13:17 EDT
"You're the night, Lilah
A little girl lost in the woods
You're a folktale
The unexplainable
You're a bedtime story
The one that keeps the curtains closed
I hope you're waiting for me
'Cause I can't make it on my own.."
-Morphine, "The Night"
Lilah's clammy hands shook with her clumsy attempts to return the telephone to its cradle. She staggered backward on her unsteady frame, and turned awkwardly to grasp the counter. She felt her fingernails bend back, and winced in pain as she saved herself from collapsing to the floor. As her knees gave out from under her, she slowly sank to the linoleum in a daze.
...
It had been a week and a half since she'd last seen Ben. He'd returned home smiling that day, earlier than usual. His arms were full of their favorite takeout and a few of the latest CDs on her never-ending list. After they shared their evening meal, Lilah glimpsed a distant, distracted look from him as he shuffled through the day's mail. But she knew better than to question him at every turn. He'd been suffering from allergies lately, hadn't been quite himself. And Ben was an artist with the natural tendencies of an introvert. It wasn't unusual for him to submit suddenly to a pensive mood and to lose himself in his thoughts. Lilah understood this, and more importantly, she accepted him for it. They were some of the traits that fascinated her about him.
She'd often find herself sitting at the table with her tea, just watching Ben intently as he drew in his sketch pad, or as he sat and strummed his guitar for hours, gazing down at his rosewood companion with the solemnity of the devout accepting a sacrament. But for all the times she speculated about his thoughts in his private moments, Lilah knew they shared a unique intimacy. They trusted each other in their quests for solitude, and were grateful for the sense of balance they struck together. They also knew the history they shared was both a blessing and a curse.
So when Ben complained of another of his headaches and didn't return from his trip for aspirin, Lilah's initial reaction was worry. The following day, when nothing came of her report or panicked phone calls, she felt a sad sickness wash over her. Where was he? The familiar cold sweat and gooseflesh returned as her memory hurled her back to last year, to that rank and godless room from which she never would have escaped if it hadn't been for him.
...
Lilah rocked frantically on the sweat-soaked mattress, her muscles gripped by searing pain. Her blood-cracked lips were no cover for the swollen blue mass that was her tongue. Barely able to speak but for the pained moans and vomit that spewed forth from her innards with repeated spasms, she could only shift her gaze gratefully toward Ben, who stayed by her side through it all. As she clawed at the bugs invading her skin, her only comfort was the tender touch of his hand as he held back her hair, stroking her face; the warmth of his breath on her cheek as he whispered to her that she would soon be well. And even as her head lolled backward and the tremors rattled her core, she was lucid enough to know she could trust him to see her through. She knew he was the only help she had to destroy the demon; to cast the needle away for good. He had quit it, all alone, just a month before. But he hadn't given up on Lilah, and he returned to that hell hole for her. He wasn't in the clear yet- neither of them truly ever would be - but his fight inspired her and together, they were going to kick for good.
Those next few weeks were excruciating at times, but Lilah's color returned and she was able to eat a little again. The calm she felt in Ben's presence helped to center her, and their shared desire for a real home and a normal life was what gave them strength when the cravings would call. And when they would call, they were hell. But they knew that methadone was not an option for them, not after last time. So each and every jones they conquered, every knot that subsided in the stomach, was like currency for them- their admittance to live freely again, to be healthy. They found a cheap studio to rent. It wasn't the best neighborhood, but they would make it theirs. They settled in with few meager possessions, and a solid companionship that brought hope to both of them. Yes, together, they were going to be well.
...
Three sober months later, Lilah began to notice a change. She'd done her best to reform her eating and sleeping habits, but between the shock of detox and her new job at the restaurant, her body's rhythms still hadn't returned to normal. Neither she nor Ben had any health insurance to speak of, and after a few weeks of worry, she found herself staring down at a tiny window with two pink lines. Lilah sat down on the edge of the tub in disbelief. She felt a fire in her belly- a jumble of fear and excitement. How was it that two people who had recently cheated death, could so easily create life? She was awestruck.
Ben's reaction was to be as supportive as usual, but he couldn't hide his uncertainty. He and Lilah discussed their options, and reminded each other that like all things, this happened for a reason. Neither of them was sure if they believed it deep down, but the N.A. program strived to put some order to chaos, and it was a watchword that sometimes helped them through. Like their recent challenges, they considered this a gift. While they were both tentative about the risks of bringing new life into their world, they decided that despite the odds, this one was a sign and should be welcomed.
Lilah worked as many hours as she could, to the point of near-exhaustion. Ben picked up extra time at the shop, and even found a few modest opportunities to commission some of his work. They were tired, but they were focused. And at the end of the day, they were happy. They didn't have much time to share, but they both recognized that the structure of this routine was good for their joint recovery, and necessary to their preparations for the child. They retired late each night, but always together, their hearts at peace and their bodies entwined.
...
A semi-conscious Lilah opened her eyes and uncurled herself from her fetal position on the cold kitchen floor. Sitting upright, she tried to shake her grogginess. Before she could clearly recall the day's events, she knew that everything was wrong. Waking on the floor, for one.. but the phone..who had called? The realization then hit her in waves of panic as a stream of words flooded her brain.
"Sergeant..Ben..clinic..headaches..bloodwork.."
"Needle..infected..dormant..recovery intact..diagnosed.."
"walk..bridge..accident..sympathy.."
Ben was gone.
...
Lilah sat in the clinic's waiting room, pallid and swollen-eyed, nearly despondent in her grief. She held the gauze aside and stared at the fresh, perfect puncture mark on the inside of her elbow. The sting of the needle had awoken an ancient thrill, and she now scratched at the long healed scars where the imaginary bugs used to enter her skin.
As she waited on the doctor to return with the test results, she felt a tiny arm turn inside her.
User Reviews
Submitted by webcorona (user info) at 2007-01-09 11:27:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-01-08 23:00:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This makes it seem like I haven't seen a decent post in weeks.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2007-01-08 22:45:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-07-27 11:57:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
type
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-06-24 22:18:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Better than I thought it was when I skimmed it when you posted. One of those ones where you're undecided between a 2 and a 1.
Submitted by whysenheimer (user info) at 2006-06-23 20:31:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Pretty good.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-06-23 15:57:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+1.5, this about sums it up for me:
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-06-20 09:23:07 (#)
Ranking: 1
interesting play on the title.
it got a little thick at points, but overall, a good read.
and you said you couldn't write. I see how it is.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-06-23 15:56:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-06-23 15:27:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked the complication of the story, the detail.
And I'm also a sucker for fetuses.
I also like that this was your first attempt at competition fiction. Compefiction. Whatever.
This was good anyway, but considering that this was really good.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-23 13:34:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoever she is, she's clearly a dirty whore who would stoop to any level for a little bit of cyberattention.
---
heh heh - you so funny girl!
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-06-21 00:50:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it's a very rough road to travel...
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-06-20 14:58:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
As several others have already said, I struggled midway through the story to comprehend what exactly was going on. A little simplification would go a long way...but, the underlying story is very good.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-06-20 13:31:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:19:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice, very nice.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-06-20 11:30:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I agree wholeheartedly with each and every one of you. Particularly phuzzy.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-06-20 10:46:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-06-20 10:38:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DICK
Submitted by alwayspeach1 (user info) at 2006-06-20 10:37:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked it and would like to see it continue.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-06-20 10:36:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Upsetting
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2006-06-20 09:56:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is very good.
Especially coming from such a dirty throatfucked whore.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-06-20 09:53:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can I throatfuck you too please?
Submitted by Leonfc (user info) at 2006-06-20 09:45:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by PeopleAreStrange (user info) at 2006-06-20 04:48:29 (#)
Ranking: 1
This was very well written but I found it too hard going. Too much descriptive text, it felt like work to read it. If you could have included more dialogue or written from Ben's perspective (or the fetus) or anything that wasn't more descriptions of events & the protagonists thoughts that would have livened it up a bit for me. Got to admit I preferred the other pins and needles.
----------------------------
Couldn't agree more, halfway through it was a struggle.
Good work all the same, nice idea
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-06-20 09:42:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't apologize, sphag, of COURSE you can.
FREE DARKO
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-06-20 09:24:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry about that, I thought you were ETS.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-06-20 09:24:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can I throat fuck you?
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-06-20 09:23:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
interesting play on the title.
it got a little thick at points, but overall, a good read.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-06-20 07:42:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I saw her today, I saw her face
It was a face I loved and I knew
I had to run away
And get down on my knees and pray
That there'd come a day
And still it begins, needles and pins
Because of all my pride
The tears I've got to hide
Oh, I thought I was smart
I'll hold her heart
And I didn't think I'd do
But now I see
She's worse to him than me
Let her go ahead, and take his love instead
And one day she will see
Just how to say please
And get down on her knees
Yeah that's how it begins
She'll feel those needles and pins
I know, I know
Why can't I stop and tell myself I'm wrong
I'm wrong, so wrong
Why can't I stand up
And tell myself I'm strong?
Because I saw her today, I saw her face
It was a face I loved and I knew
I had to run away
And get down on my knees and pray
That there'd come a day
And still it begins, needles and pins
Because of all my pride
The tears I've gotta hide
Oh needles and pins
Needles and pins
Needles and pins
Brought to you by The Ramones, via The Searchers
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-06-20 07:26:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Coo
Submitted by blueboy (user info) at 2006-06-20 04:56:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*looks around with shifty eyes*
Submitted by blueboy (user info) at 2006-06-20 04:55:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's not my alter by the way, I have no alters.
Submitted by blueboy (user info) at 2006-06-20 04:54:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I stand by that call. For something to show up on the worst ever it needs over 30 reviews. Breaking the streak for hte sake of streak breaking should only be done after or as it approaches 30 reviews. Plenty of people have perfect -2 posts.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-06-20 04:49:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-06-06 19:21:14 (#)
Ranking: -1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/88830#2008881
-----------------
And you think I was gonna let you get away with a perfect -2. Only the best post on Uber will ever have a perfect -2. Cause everyone will be so pissed not even one courtesy
+2 will be seen.
Submitted by PeopleAreStrange (user info) at 2006-06-20 04:48:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This was very well written but I found it too hard going. Too much descriptive text, it felt like work to read it. If you could have included more dialogue or written from Ben's perspective (or the fetus) or anything that wasn't more descriptions of events & the protagonists thoughts that would have livened it up a bit for me. Got to admit I preferred the other pins and needles.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-06-20 04:46:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just a little bit. What the fuck are you up so late for?
Me...my friend is passed out on my kitchen floor. I kick him every ten minutes to make sure he is breathing.
Submitted by blueboy (user info) at 2006-06-20 04:44:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
But you love me awesome_face!
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-06-20 04:39:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
KEEP DARKO BANNED!!!
Submitted by blueboy (user info) at 2006-06-20 02:50:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
UNBAN DARKO!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-06-20 02:14:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
D-Prime Madness presented by Darko : Round One
http://www.ubersite.com/m/89324
OED- pins and needles: popular name for a pricking or tingling sensation, as that which accompanies the recovery of feeling in a limb after numbness. On pins and needles: in a state of excessive uneasiness.