downcast with hope (745 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.52 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by kracka (View user info) at 2006-06-20 05:22:20 EDT
The battle was long and hard.
He didn't want to be there.
Who would?
He joined to get out of the house and away from everything. He didn't want to be stuck in a go nowhere job and hangout with everyone from highschool like he had seen so many of his friends do. But this definitely wasn't what he expected.
Basic was a bitch but what basic isn't in its own way? His training school was hard but he made it through. Then he got to his first station. Things were going well. Nothing too serious. Every now and then a training mission but it was just to keep him and his fellow troops up to par just in case anything ever went down. He never cared about that. It was kind of fun. Then it happened. His troop got the call. They were going in to action.
Three weeks of pure hell. The moment they hit the ground they were getting mortared. He never knew his pulse could beat that fast. This wasn't going to be good. He felt nauseous as he saw the shrapnel from one of the mortars go through a guy's leg. He hit the ground as he was taught until the attack was over for the moment. They got the guy to the hospital and he would be fixed up and sent home. If he knew then what was going to happen over the course of the next few weeks he would have gladly exchanged places with the guy.
It was a dark night and they had bunkered down in the field. It had been a full week since they had been anywhere with a shower. He was tired of MREs but he knew which ones were the best. So he pulled watch and ate a cheese tortellini dinner. He never heated them up. For some reason they were better cold and right out of the package. He had an uneasy feeling. The first time since the first time he saw his bullet enter an insurgent. He waved it off because he thought maybe it was just the food talking. He finished his meal and sat back looking out into the dark night. He dreamed of home and how much now after seeing all the killing and wounding that had happened he would love to be in a dead end job chilling with his high school friends. Nothing was going on. It was a good watch. His time was up and he was tired. So as his relief come out he went back to his little tree he had set up and went to sleep.
He awoke to the sound of guns and bombs going off around him. As he grabbed his rifle and sat up he felt the butt stroke of a gun go across his face. That was it for a couple of hours. When he came to he was in a rutted out building. He tried to move but noticed he was tied up. He looked around and noticed that there were about four other people in the room with him. He wonders about everyone else in his troop. As he lies on the floor he checks his surroundings. There are no guards and he has no idea where he is. He asks if anyone knows how long they have been there. No one knows. He isn't worried because in their training he was always told that they never leave anyone behind. Someone would come and get him. He just had to wait.
A week of sleep passes. He did what his country asked of him. He killed, he protected, and he lived, ate and breathed the military. Now it had been forever since he felt this low. The masked guards he had become familiar to seeing when it was time to eat came in this time with a video camera. They explained in broken English that he and his other people were to tell the camera their name. He did as he was told as did everyone else. Once they were all through the guards shot the last guy. And then said that would happen once a week until his government let some of their people go.
That was three weeks ago now he is downcast with hope.
User Reviews
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-06-27 03:36:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because I saw this on the MRR as "downcast with thorpe" and thought you might have been someone from Friday night posting here.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-06-27 03:04:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I <3 Kracka
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-06-23 19:06:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
But I liked the content.
1.5
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-06-23 19:06:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This was written in a style I found a little too choppy- a lot of really short sentences and such.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-06-23 15:46:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-06-22 12:07:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It was a great story but I almost felt that it was written before you had the title and tried to work the title in...
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2006-06-21 18:47:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah kracka you god damn redneck!
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-06-21 00:54:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-20 18:46:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
goood
Submitted by dr_weazel (user info) at 2006-06-20 18:40:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Replace the only instance of the word "Insurgent" with the words "Innocent Civilian" if you want this to seem more realistic.
Auto redneck, right wing, American military story -2
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-06-20 13:31:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2006-06-20 13:05:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the insurgents gave a ninja hostage internet?
Submitted by Molari (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:46:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good story. Lack of knowledge can make people leave heaven for hell, never know what you got till its gone, etc.. etc... of course this hell did not exist 4 years ago. Vote out Republicans plz.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-06-20 10:18:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah i wonder how pissed at our government the people are that survived captivity.
Submitted by I_love_Kracka (user info) at 2006-06-20 09:23:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dont post stuff like this. I want to know that you are safe and ok. I only want you to post stories of little kids that were hungry and you pulled out a can of beans from your back pack, and the town threw a parade in your honor for saving the starving brat.
Emails still bouncing - please try again. I love you and miss you! Tried to call - but no luck. Still have a great package of goodies to send you.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-06-20 09:18:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
good play on the title
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-06-20 08:55:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love you.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-06-20 08:34:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thats because you are daft.
now titter along someplace else.
Submitted by PeopleAreStrange (user info) at 2006-06-20 08:28:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
A good story (and oxymoron) , but I prefer short stories when characters have names and there is some dialogue. Also I'm not sure what you meant with this line:
"The first time since the first time he saw his bullet enter an insurgent. He waved it off because he thought maybe it was just the food talking." ?
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-06-20 08:22:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2006-06-20 05:37:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Very emotive.
I've always wondered what these hostage takers aim to achieve. They know full well that their people never get released, but I assume that they believe if they do something really terrible (Like cut of the head of a charity aid worker who was trying to provide a service for the region... Idiots) that we'll somehow just go "Ok, sure! Here's your guy back :) No hard feelings!"
----------------------
Some countries do release their people, or failing that pay them off. It is huge money in Columbia, one of the reasons I wouldn't work there was because my company wouldn't pay if I was kidnapped, so if I was caught I was probably dead, but I have also heard ncle Sam does bust heads in events like that so maybe i would be okay.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-06-20 08:17:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool.
Submitted by alwayspeach1 (user info) at 2006-06-20 07:37:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-06-20 06:50:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
war bad.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-06-20 06:29:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-06-20 06:04:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cheers DC
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-06-20 05:51:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hourman,
www.ubersite.com/m/82691
http://www.ubersite.com/m/81762
See the difference?
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-06-20 05:41:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
How do i post a link? I never seem to be able to do it. I need to know for my next post....which i'm sure you all can't wait to read.....
oh this was good.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-06-20 05:37:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Meh
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2006-06-20 05:37:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very emotive.
I've always wondered what these hostage takers aim to achieve. They know full well that their people never get released, but I assume that they believe if they do something really terrible (Like cut of the head of a charity aid worker who was trying to provide a service for the region... Idiots) that we'll somehow just go "Ok, sure! Here's your guy back :) No hard feelings!"
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2006-06-20 05:30:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah it sucks but i couldn't think of anything to go with the title. and everything i did think up ended going on forever so this is the short & sweet of what i could think of.