A Holy War (part 2) (393 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesLabels: Holy-War
Rating: 0.57 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Hourman (View user info) at 2006-06-20 06:32:48 EDT
Holy War Part 2: A Choice Yet Made
http://www.ubersite.com/m/89377
The hallway stretched for miles and miles around, with seemingly endless more corridors leading away, like tributaries on a river. Dan was still a little bit spaced out from the whole thing, but years of intoxication had taught to wait and see if you wake up.
The creature, which I would guess you call an angel, stood two paces in front of Dan and moved quickly through the busy hallway. Angels ran to and fro not even looking where they were going, but not once did he see them run into each other.
"So" said Dan
"Am I dead? Was that what you were going to ask?" The angel cocked his head, making Dan feel slightly stupid.
"No, where's the shitter? I had three meals in two hours and it's knocking on heavens door...no pun intended."
The Angel let out a sigh and closed his eyes. Dan suddenly felt very relaxed and for some reason going to the bathroom wasn't a big deal anymore.
"Ok, you said you were going to train me. Train me for what?"
The Angel stopped, spun on his heels and looked down at Dan with a matter of fact expression;
"There is a war Dante. A war of epic proportions the likes of which have not been seen since Lucifer fell from grace and the fate of man changed. The Prince of Darkness has brought together an army so vast that we may not be able to stop him. We have fought for Mankind since the dawn of time, but now...now we have little hope."
"How is the Devils army bigger? We have God! Surely that counts for something?"
"The Devil and God have powers unimaginable. They cannot even be called powers. If they fought it must be done on a higher plane. If they battle, we will not see it. As for his army, do you watch the news? Do you see the wars? Humanity feels God has abandoned them."
"So why do you need me? I'm pretty sure you could find a better specimen! I have the lungs of an eighty year old."
"We will fix all of that. Whilst there were many others only you possessed certain attributes that we need. You must have no belief in the power the Unholy one Posses. You must be able to remain calm even if the gates of heaven are destroyed. You must have the ability to believe in anything if necessary."
"So basically you want me to be ignorant and stoned? This seems pretty fucked up right here. I'm pretty sure that it's about time I went home."
"You can leave if you want, but the Devil has found his commander and since time is a factor, we must start training you right away. If you are in this, you are in it to the end. Humanity, while not your responsibility could definitely use your help."
"Is this a joke? Just find someone else."
"Do you not want to know who the commander of hell is?"
"Who is it?"
"It's your friend."
"Mark? Mark is the Unholy commander of hell? Nice try. Mark couldn't command shit."
"Why do you think you two spent so much time together? Opposites attract do they not? He is selfish, greedy but more importantly he wants more than he has at any moment. These prizes the Devil values and the Devil will make his deal."
Mark had the horrible feeling of being watched. He knew Dan was out so he quickly snuck in to finish off the rest of the weed that Dan had. He picked up the bag of green, and walked out the front door the night air was cold, and he knew there was a harsh breeze, but he was still overly hot.
A single lamp in the entire street was on. Every other street lamp wasn't on, and this one lamp radiated an orange or red aura. A solitary man stood beneath it reading the paper.
"I can't understand all the struggles to make cures, or help out everyone. Know what I mean kid?" Mark nearly shit himself, why was this guy speaking to him?
"Who the hell are you?"
A slim smile crept across the face of the man, revealing a row of sharp jagged teeth.
"Me? I'm here to make a deal with you kiddo."
User Reviews
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-06 07:14:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-05 09:54:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
I am going to rate every one of your posts with a +2 without reading them.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-06-21 19:28:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/89495
Read this, and learn.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-06-21 10:09:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Intriuging (sp?)
Try making them a little longer.
Submitted by gonefiguring (user info) at 2006-06-20 13:29:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Worth reading, though only just, for the development of the story. The comments about spelling and grammar I'd make have been made. Looking forward, albeit with some slight trepidation, to the next installment.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-06-20 09:16:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm going to give you a one for trying. It doesn't read as very original, but at least you're putting effort into something. Everytime I try to start a series, I drop it.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-06-20 08:00:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah the spelling is shit actually. Ok I will try and liven it up a bit for Dc and Skrap I will do my up most to improve my spelling and grammer. I reckon I could be dyslexic. Although in contrast to my earlier pieces, they are at least getting better. However I must say that the contstructive criticism is greatly appreciated and I much prefer these comments compaired to '-2 Die.'
Thanks guys, it all helps
Hour_man/ C
Submitted by alwayspeach1 (user info) at 2006-06-20 07:31:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Has potential, I'd like to read more.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-06-20 07:14:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/89377#2028831
Had my hopes up, but I find I am disappointed. Ahh, well.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-06-20 07:05:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
These are kinda boring.