shadow gets FIRED!!! rant-tastic (1736 hits)
Category: GeneralLabels: pointless ranting
Rating: 1.55 on 67 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by shadow (View user info) at 2006-06-20 11:43:14 EDT
Well, how do ya like that? I go out last night to buy office clothes, because I need more button up shirts and shit, spend $170 on nice things specifically to wear to the freakin' office and I get fired the next day. Glad I kept the receipts...
The Vice President of the company, who graces our office two days a week, calls me in. "shadow, I'd like to talk to in my office."
"Sure thing, chief. Just let me finish this super important corporate contact issue that you can't handle yourself, thanks!" *walks into office* "So, what's the news boss?"
"Uh... we're moving in a different direction with your postition."
"Huh?" I reply, my eyebrows quirking
"We were really looking for a better fit." He looks at me, lowering his eyes under my incredulous stare. "There was also the issue of your performance, we've received several complaints."
"Complaints? What were the complaints about?" I ask
"Well... I... uh... I really can't get into that." My eyes narrow enough to focus a lazer beam through his forehead.
"I understand for the sake of confidentiality that you can't tell me WHO said what, but if there was a problem with my performance that is serious enough to let me go, I'd like to know what it is so that I can improve."
"Well, it's also that we're moving in a different direction, and the performance issues were only a factor." He rubs his hands, looking at the floor, his desk, the wall. Everything but me.
"Sir, if there were serious problems with my performance, why didn't anyone bring them up with me? I've been with this company for four months, and this is the first I have heard that anyone had a complaint. May I ask what I did wrong?"
"Well, this termination is the kind where, you know, you can call the office if you need to... for a reference, and you can get unemployment..." At this point I subtituted my boss's head for Kuzco from "The Emporer's New Groove", specifically the speech he gave to Isma(sp) when letting her go. I find it makes it easier to deal with bosses if you can slap a cartoon on their face.
Kuzco continued on his little speech and I felt my blood presure rise a bit. My hands shook a little, so I shoved them behind my back. I will make this an amiable separation if it kills me. Finally his highness finishes up and I say simply "Ok, thank you for the opportunity."
Then I go find my real boss, the first one above me in the chain of command, my office bud, etc. "Hey" I begin, stepping into her office "Did you know I was getting fired?" She looks up at me with shock all over her face. No, she didn't know and now she's pissed that her powers over the office have been taken away, and that she was not let in on the secret, especially since she was the one who recomended me and essentially hired me to make her life easier. We have a little chat.
I walk out to have a cigarette, smoking in the shop three feet away from the "no-smoking" sign. I decide that no, I will not walk out talking the potted plant hostage, no I will not take my schedule books with me, no I will not "lose" all our contractor's mailing before I go, I will finish out my day with self respect. So I sit down and update everything in accordance with company policy.
And then I drew a picture in mspaint to be deleted before I leave. Bastards. Grrrrrrrrrrr I'm bloody mad right now... Just need to keep my head 'til five, just need to stay calm (as I assault the keyboard with pounding digits) Deep breath... think Zen.
Fuck the Man.
User Reviews
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-16 22:49:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WELL????
Update, please. We worry, you know.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-06-21 14:09:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HA! Take THIS: http://www.ubersite.com/m/89458
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-06-21 10:48:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
shame. damn shame.
Submitted by Psmith (user info) at 2006-06-21 10:38:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-06-20 22:49:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
Consolation +2.
Loss of a corporate job should be viewed as a blessing. Now you have the opportunity not to become a zombie. """
Easy to say if you haven't bills to pay and rent to make.
But then I don't know either of your personal situations so hey ho.""
+1 for dealing maturely with a kick in the teeth.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-06-20 22:49:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Consolation +2.
Loss of a corporate job should be viewed as a blessing. Now you have the opportunity not to become a zombie.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-06-20 21:58:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You worked for a company based in Ohio? That's your problem. Ohio taxes are trying to kill Ohio.
That's why I left. Came down south. They need someone to boss these Mexicans around.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-06-20 21:47:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aw, so sorry. Sounds like you're better off. Go all out for the unemployment! Rock that shit for as long as you can!
Submitted by resignator (user info) at 2006-06-20 18:15:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:55:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
I was in the Local 27 when I was a bit younger, but not all companies in MD have unions, just the older ones like grocery stores, theatre workers, construction workers, really just the actual "labour" positions. My company is based in Ohio and they have all kinds of difficulty doing payroll across the mountains.
But you can be fired from a non-union company in this state for any reason. I already have a new job offer that will pay better, so I'm not pressed about looking up the letter of the law and filing suit. If the circumstances were different, maybe
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Glad to hear you have a better job offer. I cant really blame you for not pursuing a lawsuit if one is warranted.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-06-20 17:28:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice airbrush work thar
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-06-20 17:19:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm glad you're out of there.
You need to be someplace where you can keep your hair purple.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-06-20 16:15:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I prgrammed the radio in my car... does that count?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-06-20 16:02:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That blows. Know anything about radio?
Besides how to turn up the volume?
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-06-20 15:54:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bring on your almighty skills, I laugh at them, prostitute! I have more time than God himself to destroy you mWAHAHHAHAHHAHA!
no....NOT THE FACE!
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-06-20 15:52:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The +2 is for the drawing, not the firing... when, oh when will people learn not to build their corporate HQ's so close to the Sun? Can't they see all the fusion going on there?
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-06-20 15:37:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooHhhhhHHHHhhhHHHH yes you are, you big corporate slag
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-06-20 15:06:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
serves you right for being a whore
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-06-20 15:05:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sucks man
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-06-20 15:02:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ha! my boss (the cool one) just bought me lunch!
Eat That corporate headquarters!!!!!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-06-20 14:31:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That fucking blows.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-20 14:21:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
too bad you dont have time to make a Chicken Time Bomb...
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:08:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
I got my contract terminated too yesterday. BUT THAT'S BECAUSE I'M BEING SENT BACK TO THE BANKING WORLD, HURRAY!
Caul, does that mean you are going ouest?
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-06-20 13:05:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm still thinking of cutting off his dick, bronzing it, and using the prince albert as a key chain ring. he kept invader zim too. 1 and 3 but not 2.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-06-20 13:03:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
inion, that sucks so hard! stoopid menz folk stealin' the comix! You should have it in writing as a part of your separation that he should return all literary materials.
I had to go toe-to-toe with my x to get my dvds, and we weren't even married.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-06-20 13:00:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the maxx is the ONLY comic i ever dig for at shows and stuff. i was so happy to find a b&w copy of the first one at the con in seattle. AND I'M SO FUCKING PISSED MY ASSHOLE EXHUSBAND HAS IT!!!
i always loved the story lines. It was just so awesome the way the worlds switched back and forth especially when it got deeper on in and the serious part of julie came out.
that and iszs.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:58:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:34:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
Well that sucks. I'm sorry. I've never been fired before. Then again I'm only 22 so I've got plenty of time left for that in the future.
You can have my job as a consolation prize if you'd like. I'm kind of getting bored with it so I think it's time for me to try something new.
-----------------------------------
heh, I'm 23 and this is the first time I've been fired. I'm going to be fine. I'm resourceful and I have servicable skills.
Besides, you live in CA right? that would be one HELL of a commute from over here.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:55:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was in the Local 27 when I was a bit younger, but not all companies in MD have unions, just the older ones like grocery stores, theatre workers, construction workers, really just the actual "labour" positions. My company is based in Ohio and they have all kinds of difficulty doing payroll across the mountains.
But you can be fired from a non-union company in this state for any reason. I already have a new job offer that will pay better, so I'm not pressed about looking up the letter of the law and filing suit. If the circumstances were different, maybe.
Submitted by mles76 (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:53:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
===
DON'T TOUCH MY SISTER!!!
(I always wanted to say that :-))
Seriously, I barely know her. We talk through email once every year maybe.
=
Oh well, she looks like she could kick my ass anyway. Just thought I'd ask.
Submitted by resignator (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:50:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
MD is NOT a "right to work" state. MD is a forced union state.
You may want to check up on your actual rights here:
http://www.nrtw.org/rtws.htm
Also, you should note that the laws CONSTANTLY change. What you believe was true may not be anymore.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:48:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I LOVE the Maxx, I own all available copies of the comic (out of print) and I have the trade paperback for the rest.
and the VHS from MTV.
and a poster, not on display.
no action figures, I don't hold no truck wit' action figures.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:46:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mles76 (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:44:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
Caul will your sister go out with me on a date? I'm 25% French. My name is french.
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DON'T TOUCH MY SISTER!!!
(I always wanted to say that :-))
Seriously, I barely know her. We talk through email once every year maybe.
Submitted by mles76 (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:44:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Caul will your sister go out with me on a date? I'm 25% French. My name is french.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:44:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:43:01 (#)
Ranking: 1
That chick is stunning, even bald.
===
I HOPE I'M STUNNING TOO WHEN I GET BALD BECAUSE I'M RECEDING!!! :~(
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:43:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
dude you can quote the maxx?????
YOU ARE FUCKING AWESOME!
i may need to blow you now.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:43:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That chick is stunning, even bald.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:40:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*don't have the right to withold
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:40:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:05:05 (#)
Ranking: 0
MD is an employment "At Will" state, most states have laws against it but not us. The bonus is you can walk out on any job without giving a reason without reprisal. But then they can fire you for any reason, too.
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i'm not saying they still can't fire you. but that usually doesn't change the fact that if you ask to know about a complaint against you that they have the right to withold that information from you. if they said there were complaints and that's part of the reason they're firing you then you should really find out because that's not firing you for NO reason that's firing you for something you don't even know you did. if you go to unemployment and they ask why you don't have a job any more it could affect your eligibility for benefits because your employers said there was a complaint.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:39:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I worked at Le Roi Du Chien Chaud
I also farted in my bed yesterday and had eggs and toast for breakfast.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW MORE?!?!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:36:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I got fired too when I was fourteen. I was a janitor and I stole money in the restaurant cash register to buy hash.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:34:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well that sucks. I'm sorry. I've never been fired before. Then again I'm only 22 so I've got plenty of time left for that in the future.
You can have my job as a consolation prize if you'd like. I'm kind of getting bored with it so I think it's time for me to try something new.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:30:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:28:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
OH YEAH! I remember now! You're related to her?
On the one hand that does speak highly of your "pretty" genetics.
On the other hand, you can't bang her.
===
We have the same mother.
I only talked to her once.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:28:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OH YEAH! I remember now! You're related to her?
On the one hand that does speak highly of your "pretty" genetics.
On the other hand, you can't bang her.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:27:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
take a whiz in all the potted plants just for good measure. bastards.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:19:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck.
And yes, Saturns are the carriages of Lucifer. Those and boxer engines...
...yeah, BUCK foxer engines. (har har spoonerism)
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:19:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://kobiety-kobietom.com/im/1/1293.jpg
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:16:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hehe, awesome by proxy! She's hot isn't she? link a pic for me would ya?
Submitted by livEvil (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:16:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sucks for you. you should've taken some tips from half baked on how to make your exit. it would've made a better story
on another note, i like the poem sacrilicous posted
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:15:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ÈVE SALVAIL!
Half-sister actually...but that still makes me awesome, right?
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:15:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah, I wanna know, who is your sis?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:13:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you sure you don't wanna know?
Submitted by PeopleAreStrange (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:11:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What an ass-monkey your boss is. I've read a lot of 'you're fired' posts recently and I'm surprised how easy it seems to be able to get rid of employees in the states.
If my employer wanted to take my job from me they'd have to give me poor performance reviews, go through the union, go through HR, give me about a years notice, give me the option to do another role matching my skills, offer me redundancy, etc etc. Except for gross misconduct, there is no way they could get rid of me quickly. Woohoo!
Having said that Ubersite is banned at work, which helps me keep my job :o)
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:11:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
blech! this is wrought with henious typos! I should spell check my anger-rific posts.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:10:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
so you don't wanna know who my sister is?
(I LOVE NAME-DROPPING!)
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:09:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
congrats, Caul! I know you hated that job anyway, good on you.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:08:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-06-20 11:55:14 (#)
Ranking: 0
"Sir, are you classified as human?"
"No, sir. I am a meat popsicle."
a female meat popsicle
===
MY SISTER PLAYED IN THAT MOVIE! :-D
I got my contract terminated too yesterday. BUT THAT'S BECAUSE I'M BEING SENT BACK TO THE BANKING WORLD, HURRAY!
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:07:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My boss thinks they're doing just to cut cost, but that sounds petty, doesn't it? Better to make up some bogus reason why "it's not working out" than to admit they can't afford me.
Meh, I'm overqualified for this bs anyway.
Not that I'm bitter or anything...
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:07:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Katy, she may live in a state where they don't have to give a reason. I do.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:05:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
MD is an employment "At Will" state, most states have laws against it but not us. The bonus is you can walk out on any job without giving a reason without reprisal. But then they can fire you for any reason, too.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:03:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
uh you have the right to know to address anything they say you did wrong or against company policy. try L&I cuz that's bull if he won't tell you.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:01:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Please let me tell you,
They own our homes, they own our banks
We take out loans to buy them tanks
They own our children, they own our pets
The owned Elvis and Bernhard Goetz
They own our rugs and our flower pots
There ain't nothin' they haven't got
They own the papers and the TV's
The water works, record companies
Let me remind you,
They own the talk shows
They make the rules
They own Geraldo and Donahue
They own the state, they own the church
They pick the winners on Star Search
They own the Christians, they own the Jews
They own the Moslems, Mormons, too
They put the holes in our socks
They put that snake in my mail box
From the halls of Montezuma, to the shores of Tripoli
We are all tools of the conspiracy
From the littlest baby to the biggest V.I.P.
We are all tools of the conspiracy
Run to the window, they're coming to get you
Hide in the basement, they're coming to get you
Flee to the rooftop, they're coming to get you
Don't go outside, no don't let them get you
Someone should tell you,
They own the CIA and the IRS
They tell us where to shop and how to dress
They own the workers, they own the boss
They know what's in the secret sauce
They own the drugs, they own the narcs
We all know they own Dick Clark
They own it all, they own everything
They write the songs that make the whole world sing
Submitted by Molari (user info) at 2006-06-20 12:00:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not giving a specific reason for firing you is super illegal in Canada... I'm pretty sure they have some sort of similar law in the U.S... its you're right to know why you got laid off, so you can avoid it in the future, like you pointed to your boss. This is bullshit.
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2006-06-20 11:56:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-06-20 11:47:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm going to go back to working on cars... cars don't conspire behind your back.
Except for the Saturn SL2, those are not to be trusted.
---------------------------------------------
All Saturns suck to work on.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-06-20 11:55:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Sir, are you classified as human?"
"No, sir. I am a meat popsicle."
a female meat popsicle
Submitted by swine_powered_hate_machine (user info) at 2006-06-20 11:53:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You should have used the right cover sheet on your TPS reports... didn't you get the memo?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-06-20 11:52:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait, are you a woman or a man?
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-06-20 11:50:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Poor old Shadow!
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-06-20 11:50:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-06-20 11:49:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Meh shit happens, grows some balls and start a new coporate career fuck wad! +2 for sure though
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-06-20 11:47:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm going to go back to working on cars... cars don't conspire behind your back.
Except for the Saturn SL2, those are not to be trusted.